Scott Bass is a Moron: Part 1 in a 757,389 Part Series

Posted by lewis on February 2, 2009 at 9:09 pm.

OK, first off, I apologize for this post.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the writing of Scott Bass, I am no doubt doing you a great disservice by exposing you to his work.

In addition, pointing out Scott Bass's inability to write is a bit like noting a Down Syndrome baby's inability to perform differential calculus.

Surfermag recently ran a Scott Bass "Opinion" piece in which Bass tries to educate the masses on the difference between Surf "Spots" and "Breaks."  Yawn.  It's clear that those innovators at Surfer were trying to be "edgy" and "controversial" with this one.  Some other writers with other outlets (who will go unnamed) have received acclaim for their controversial prose.

surf spots or breaks

I'll summarize Scott's thesis for you in following quotes:

1) "It's quite possible that your local spot... is not a legitimate surf spot at all, but rather, just a break."

2) "If people plan surf trips to ride waves at your spot, then your spot is a surf spot... Did Buzzy Trent dive for lobster where you ride waves? If yes, it's a surf spot--globally agreed upon and culturally ac- cepted (sic) legend, history and/or lore that propagated from where you catch waves makes your spot a spot, regardless of wave quality."

3) "If you're surfing a spot that's not a spot, can you even call yourself a surfer?"

OK, then.  By Scott's logic:

A racist misogynist of questionable cultural importance dove for a lobster at Cardiff, making Cardiff a surf spot, making Scott a surfer.

On the other hand, if you're surfing a world-class reef pass in Mircronesia that has yet to be exploited and where no longboard legends have lounged (Think P-Pass 1995) you are not surfing a surf spot, and therefore perhaps you are not even a surfer.

...Despite the 10-second shacks you might be getting while Scott is burning chicks on his SUP at Cardiff Reef.

20 Comments

  • SF says:

    Watch out for that idiots paddle !

  • busycorner says:

    how do you “surf a spot that’s not a spot”?

  • Cyrus says:

    Lewis, dig your stories. Don’t know much about Scott except I’ve never enjoyed his stories, and his radio show/podcasts put you to sleep quicker than watching golf or baseball on TV. Keep up the good work!

  • Repo Man says:

    Frenchie! I was there… that poor retarded indo child…. was actually Matt George.

  • Jake says:

    Can’t Surfer find someone to work there that actually finished high school?

  • stu says:

    he went to CS San Marcos… not sure if that counts as college or not. in any event, he’s a terrible writer, which I guess is why he’s only risen to on-line ed. I look forward to Parts 2 - 757,389 of this topic.

  • Jake says:

    Stu - regardless of his attendance at the lowest rung of the Cal. State system, he is still a poor excuse for an editor. Surfer has been in decline for a long time and his presence there is a constant reminder of their decay.

  • BobR says:

    I want my $5.00 admission back from Sacred Crap. Scott Bass’s show was worse than a Tijuana swap meet.

  • Brian says:

    Scott - First off F-U, I know you read anything that might mention your name, you egotistical asshole. I worked with you for two months, and you are the most intolerable piece of shit that has ever lived. I hope that surfermag takes this oportunity to re-evaluate your contributions and shitcans you.

  • SF says:

    I don’t even know you, but its great to see how many people hate you. If Cardiff wasn’t such a soft, boring wave, I would paddle out just to burn you.

  • hahahahaha says:

    this site is amazing! wish i knew about it sooner.. loving it. keep it up. this article and SB’s others have made me cringe for sometime now. thought it was just me..

  • Kevo says:

    Scott’s not such a bad guy. Sacred Craft is a great surfboard show and I’ve really enjoyed it the two times I’ve been He will burn you at Cardiff, though.

  • weedy williams says:

    bump

    can we pause for a moment and reflect on the profound and inspiring questions scott bass has served up to machado in a recent interview:

    SURFER: Undoubtedly you scored some great waves and some great tubes. Photos have already trickled into the pages of surf magazines and on websites. We’ve seen some insane barrels from you trip. The notion that time stands still in the tube, the old surfing cliché, do you think there is any truth to that?

    ROB MACHADO: Wow, that’s pretty deep right there. (clipped for length but you get the point)
    ///

    SURFER: You mentioned Kelly and I’m wondering, earlier in the year, Slater played in the Pebble Beach pro-am and hit some great golf shots. Especially on number 17, the par 3, it’s 200-plus yards, he hit it into a strong 20-knot head wind. Kelly put his tee shot 8-feet from the hole and birdied. Being an avid golfer yourself and a friend of Kelly’s, did you see that shot?

    ROB MACHADO: No I didn’t see this year’s event. That’s cool. That’s heavy. Serious stuff.

    i know a thousand kids with college degrees who would kill for this fucktards job - come on ‘fur get with it!

  • Scott Bass HATER!!!!!!!!!! says:

    Like Bryan said below…first off F-U Bass!! I worked for you for two days and you owe me a $100 dollars you SOB!!! YOU NEVER paid me for 2 articles i wrote! You were the biggest KOOK i had ever met and you didnt even have the balls to call me and fire me… you pussy SOB! If i ever see you “in the lineup” im gonna shove that SUP board of yours where the sun don’t shine!! YOU are a embarassment and disgrace to our sport…GO BACK TO GLENDORA YOU KOOK!!

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