Good ol' Stab Mag released their and Mr. Luke Stedman won for "Fastest Body Transformation."
Luke Stedman. Photo: Stab Mag
After a few riveting responses concerning Stedman's shirtless torso and skincare tips, Stab closed with the following question:
Stab: Finally, who is that little man on Surfline (Lewis Samuels) who seems intent on the assassination of your character?
Luke Stedman: That little man is little, for sure. I honestly wanted to kill him. He drove a sharp stake into me several times and it fucking hurt. It seemed like he wanted to bash me way more than every one else, too. Anyway, after several therapy sessions at a really expensive, overrated Sydney shrink centre, I changed my train of thought – really, it was just sitting on my deck with a cold Corona and Tom Whits telling me to snap out of it. I used his words to motivate me. Kept a couple of his quotes he wrote about me, put them up on my wall and drew positive energy from it. Actions speak louder than words and that’s what I did. I’m now 12th on the ratings and I remember being referred to as Stuart Bedford-Brown (tradesmanlike goofyfooter from the late 80s) and would never make the top 16 again as that was a fluke and hell would freeze over if I made top 10. I’m not going to use that crap cliche that’s it’s getting cold in Hell, but I won’t rest till I’ve reached single figures on the ratings.
you need more therapy Steds….from the great movie Ace Ventura, “Laces Out!”
Plants move faster than stedman surfs.
Ha ha, yeah we can payout on Steds as much as we want, but how hot is his wife!? I’d probably over-groom myself to land a missus like that.
Stedman’s definitely overly sensitive. I saw him one time and told him that I thought it took a lot of guts to be the first openly gay surfer on tour. He screamed “I’m not gay!” at me, ripped his shirt off and challenged me to a Greco-Roman wrestling match. Luckily, I was able to escape a thrashing when he went to get his bottle of lemon essence oil.
Interesting. I’ve been looking around health related blogs because my uncle has been diagnosed with cancer. Do you know anywhere where I should look for help?