When I first started writing about surfing, I received this earnest advice from an editor: “Dumb down your prose - remember your readers are mostly 15-year-old boys, or they’re as stupid as 15-year-old boys.”
Take a look at Transworld’s new “10 Hottest Girls in Pro Surfing” feature. The crew at TW are masters when it comes to knowing their audience.
Transworld's "10 Hottest Girls in Pro Surfing"
The 30-something edit team at TW based their picks on the following: “Does she rip? And does she look good doing so? While some are more on the rip side and others on the sexy side, we feel both sides of the spectrum are represented and did our best to not come off as total sexist pigs—not the easiest thing in the world to do for this bunch.”
The 30-something TW editors picked 5 girls who were minors this time last year. The girl in the photo above just barely missed the Top 10 cut with the following caveat: “Yeah, we’re creeps for putting a 16-year old on this list but it’s not our fault the Maui girl made the US Surf Team and has looks that could kill.”
At 21, one of the oldest girls in the Top 10 is Anastasia Ashely, who apparently wears heels and makeup to the beach:
Anastasia Ashley. Photo: Damea Dorsey
Transworld explains that “Anastasia has been spending a lot of time with Hulk Hogan’s son, Nick, whom she calls her best friend and her biggest fan… Selfishly, we want Anastasia to make the World Championship Tour just to see who wears a smaller bikini—her or Alana Blanchard.”
Considering that Ashley had a WQS rating of 52 last year and hangs out with Hogans, it seems more likely she’ll go on tour with the “Rock of Love” bus than the ASP.
In the meantime you can thank the “creeps” at Transworld for getting your IP address added to that sexual predator watchlist.
Our audience is young men and boys. Thank you for promoting our website.
That’s a pretty mean thing to say about Anastasia, she’s a super sweet girl, that was pretty lame of you.
I can understand you hating on the top 45 but now hot young women are now on your list. Oh… hang… on…
We know where the angst has come from. Too bad Fiji’s off this year and you’re not trapped on an island with all those hot men who don’t give you any attention so you have to tear em apart with your keyboard.
Hello Mr. Cote. I’m Chris Hansen. Sit down. We need to have a talk.
Chris you sound like a super sweet guy. Enjoy the young men and boys.
1 master of its audience + 1 audience of masterbaters = 1 sticky article.
With all that black eyeliner, it appears Alana’s just a few steps away from following Freddy P into the no-eyebrow scene.
Does she longboard in heels?
Hi Chris Hansen. I’m Kaser1
Actually that was a pretty funny thing to say.
Hey Cote: To be fair you date rapists over at TRANNIEworld should do a Top 10 Hottest Dudes in Pro Surfing. I saw you salivating over Jordy Smoth at the US Open you MANimal you!
So when is the Boy’s version coming out?
Hmm… I guess that the TW’s stock answer “the guys in our photos are also wearing nothing but their bathing suits, what’s the problem (broplem??)?” might not work here. But I’m sure they have already figured out a new moronic excuse for this for future use.
Does Alana Blanchard really go surfing with he bikini shoved up her ass!?? That is fuckin awesome!!
Opps I didn’t mean to call Alana a “he” that was just a typo. Sorry Alana, call me!
Cote: Relax man, Samuels’s writing has a sharp tongue–and it’s usually pretty funny. But TWSurf has made rude remarks about dude surfers in the past; don’t all of a sudden play the “we’d never stoop so low” card. Like you said, your audience is young men and boys, that’s what they do, say mean things. Don’t get your tiny frame in a jam just because a writer knocked some chick surfer who’s competitive talent is marginal, at best, and hangs out with the corny son of a dilapidated wrestler and worn out reality show. Enjoy the free publicity and carry on.
I think cote is upset because lewis takes his little make fun of people in the letters gig and just applies it to all of surfing, and then increases the literacy level from grade 4 to intelligent.
its like you being sweetbro at your beach, then jordy showing up, surfing way more rad, and assfucking all the girls who thought you were awesome.
yes lewis, i did just make an analogy to you bufu’ing the surf industry.
Everyone be nice! Cote is cool and so is Anastasia and even lewis is kinda cool if he’d stop being mean! I think Chris Cote was trying to be kinda ironic when he posted here. Oh, and I think we’ve established that absolutely everyone is Gay.
Cote, you should hire lewis to spell check your documents.
He might catch all of those blunders you guys publish.
wonder if Cote and Bass went to school together?
i once saw a Transworld with the hottest trends of 2008 (or was it 2007?)- one of them was FIRWIRE surfboards… twice on the same page… a few pages later was a FIREWIRE surfboard ad. i’ve always wondered what this FIRwire thing is…
Great site! It seems like surfers, especially pros and surf “journalists”, have begun to take themselves way too seriously. I never thought someone who masterminds a Maxim-style surf mag would be so easily offended.
word Max.
Surfing is so homoerotic. We’re all looking at semi-nude, bronzed, moist men in ballerina poses all day. At least the Reef girls and articles like these keep the boys in prison happy.
Ok guys, easy there, its all in good humour. We all like girls, old or young!… Looks like the crew at this tube eight like my story and want to run it as a Maxim feature!
I didn’t write the thing about tube8.
i like Lewis, i like this blog, i like when people call me a date rapist, and i like to mispell stuff in my magazine. go to transworldsurf.com to read our Aussie blog, it’s fun.
Chris, she did pose for the photo…… as for TWS, is there anything to read? Thanks for the heads up, I thought it was over produced dribble Glad to read that your sober, those globe pro broadcasts are sloppy.