The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. At least that's what Spock said when he died at the end of Star Trek II.
The few in this case are Taj Burrow, Mick Fanning, and in particular, Kelly Slater. If any of these three had won the QuikPro, the many (us) might have suffered through another boring world title race in which one surfer held the lead for the entire season.
Victory crouch. Joel Parkinson. Photo: ASP/ Kristin
By scoring his first victory in 26 events to kick-off the season, Parko has virtually gaurunteed us a dogfight of a title race.
the last three years of ct sucked so bad, when someone holds the lead the whole time its so fucking boring. this year is gonna be sick. hopefully kelly keeps riding those boards that looked like i shaped him so hes not even in the race
hey lewis you should make a fantasy surfer clubhouse for all of us.
i’d like to see how your predictions go
Who cares about the CT jock off?
Real surfers wiggle longboards on knee high waves, make boring movies and even worse music.
no shit…
i appreciate Kelly’s talent and contributions to surfing and competitiveness, no question. but as a sports fan who likes to see close match-ups rather thorough ass beatings, the end of Kelly’s reign can’t come fast enough.
yeah, predictions, LS: where do you predict Jihad will finish this year!?
Slater finally lost the plot and went cheyno. Number ten is his for the taking and he goes emperors new clothes on the deal? Can’t handle losing this year so he sets himself up with the time honored excuse of foolish equipment choices? “But I was ripping” “I love my new boards” I shaped it myself”
Every turn looks like premature ejaculation.
Fuckin please man, for the love of the sport, ditch the wiggle spoon or give it to andy to cook a batch with and get proper.
Great contest! Parko was my number 1 draft pick in fantasy surfer so I am stoked but dissapointed with Dane not making it through and Jordy getting clipped.Is it me or was there some FIERCE RIPPING going on the last 2 gays of the Quik Pro? Bede, Mick Parko, Dane, Jordy etc. How about that backside hook-snap thing that Ace pulled? It appears Kelly has his work cut out this year. Hopefully we have a close race ending up with 3 or 4 guys in contention at Pipe and an epic 3 day 10 to 12 clean west swell to elevate the sport to new levels. Keep up the great work L.s!
P.s. Are you one of those Bay Area liberals? It wouldnt stop me from enjoying your world class writing but it would f-ing bum me out.
P.s.s. That one swooping cutback that Dane did, although only scoring a 6 or 7, was curren-parko esque. In the words of that great philosopher from Kazikstan it was NICE.
Brilliant Jiggy jig, brilliant.
Wonder if Mark has posters of Dane all over his room to please himself in between bouts of “fantasy” surfing. But, as all conservatives do, Mark is showing us his inclusive nature and will continue to read Lewis although it will be banned by his church.
Calm down everyone, Parko killed a crappy bank and the Kirra RIP campaign was getting old….. you see, anyone that’s been down there knows how good it could have been. Several rounds held at Dbah, a brief visit to Snapper and then Adriano getting underscored at what was Kirra. Taj, they gave you every chance and Potts was spinning your opponents low scores like an Ari Fliescher or Scott McCllelend. The contest was lucky to finish and that lineup would’ve been empty without jet skis.
As for Kelly, he’ll be back. And jiggy, he was killing that piece of shit when he ran through my town right before the gig. Killing it. Maybe he’s trying to make it interesting for everyone else while making a point that he probably should be paid an appearance fee just to surf the tour.
I hope you’re right Mike. The boards go fine for threading the needle but for performance 3/4s of a board either does 3/4s of a turn or 7/4s of a turn. Either way it’s foul. I think it may be like his pretending to ride a quad at the beginning of last season. I can see how he would be bored off his nut by now and just want to mix it up but hopefully he makes an honest effort on an honest board to go for ten.
Kelly projected his turns, squared off at will and linked everything without any recovery…. fucking amazing. Jiggy’s spot on about Kelly’s boredom, why else would he fuck around during the contests everyone else is so scared to experiment.
Did anyone else watch Litmus? Derek Hynd surfing perfect J Bay on the biggest pieces of shit buried under the worst shapers house for decades. First thing that came to my mind was…… “That fuck has surfed too many good waves”.
Worst part about Kelly’s surfing around here, it’ll inspire another swath of morons to order boards that don’t work. The retro bullshit that we left behind by ‘75 amazes me and the 40 year old tube virgin has plenty of company with this young “candy” board crowd. Those boards never worked and they prove that every good swell. And they keep buying em! Next up sheeple, the alaia board craze complete with a Duke tattoo kit. Don’t laugh, they’re coming.
Marvelous post - and good domain by the way!