I'll be honest here. My limited wit is otherwise engaged today, trying to finish up the Power Rankings. Writing for PostSurf doesn't pay the Vodka bills - therefore it's rather low on my list of priorities. So I'm posting an interview I did with Roy Powers way back during the Mundaka contest. This is the rough equivalent of rifling through your kitchen cabinets instead of going grocery shopping, and then settling for a meal of canned artichoke hearts and Matzoh that's past its expiration date. Enjoy!
Roy Powers. Photo: Hodgson
Lewis: How does it feel to watch the same guy win over and over again?
Roy Powers: Kelly? He's a Fag! No, I'm joking, I'm joking. Ultimately he deserves it. Every heat he goes out there and he blows doors. Crappy waves, good waves. Fact of the matter is that guy's the best surfer in the world, and he's definitely proved it, and that's why he's getting another world title.
Seems like some of the guys are not taking it too seriously at this point in the season. What's your take on that?
If you're not doing the events, it's a disrespect to the people who are doing them, taking them seriously. And then there's the fans - they want to see their favorite surfer, and he's probably not here. But everyone has their own reason they don't want to be here. I'm enjoying myself, still learning, I'm still trying to learn this whole game. I'll be at every event, just try to get up in that top league.
Do you see Mundaka as an event that shouldn't be on tour?
Bottom line, what we're surfing right now, this is not a CT event. It's ridiculous. I was definitely a person who voted not (to have this event) just because there are other good waves in the world. What are we doing here? 200km away, France is probably a lot better than this. Why aren't there other CT events there, or Portugal? It's like having the Pipemasters in August, but knowing you're gonna end up at Sandy Beach. No disrespect to the wave, it's an incredible wave, but it's too inconsistent. We don't have time for that.
What would you say to Spanish fans who would perceive the pros as being spoiled?
That's what we qualified for - to surf perfect waves. Do you think race car drivers want to drive on a bumpy road? Do pro basketball players want to play in preschools? We qualified to surf in the best waves - that's what we signed up for, that's what we put our hearts, souls into. No disrespect to them in any way, I'm totally grateful we're here, being able to surf their premier wave, but if it's not breaking what are we doing? Just sitting around taking up their parking stalls. If anyone says we don't deserve to surf the best waves in the world, tell 'em to call me up, I'll meet you anywhere. That's bullshit. What I did, to qualify, to get to this level. It took a lot, not only for myself, but for my family, everybody. I take it really personal when people say we're spoiled. Fuck you. It's bullshit. We work too hard for people to criticize us so much with that. They think this job is a lot easier than it is - it's not that easy.
Some fans think everyone is making millions in surfing.
We're not all millionaires. There's probably 5 millionaires, maybe 7. The reality is I'm not struggling, But I still think about every month, making heats. We have families - I don't come from a wealthy family - my main focus is supporting my family, put food on the table, to be able eventually to help my parents retire. That's my main goal. It might be different for other guys but that's my main focus and I won't stop till I accomplish that."
Roy Powers at Mundaka. Photo: Kristin CI/ ASP
Who is Roy Powers? What’s his story? Why should we care? Is he a haole transplant with rugged good looks and a good last name? What’s his niche? The new Freddy P? The hawaiin Dane Reynolds? I like the blue collar spin, smart move ESP. In this economy.
i like roy dropping the fuck you on us. that was awesome.
Job’s are hard work. I don’t doubt the tour is hard in their minds. What other job supports your family though? Kids don’t support parents.
come on now. pro surfers are SPOILED. i’m not doubting that the tour can be tireing or grueling… travel in general can be that way. i’m sure once they fall off tour and have to get a real job like the rest of us they will realize just how spoiled they are…
ASL used to do a great column where they took pro surfers and made them go to a REAL job for a day (i believe they made trent munro work at a steel factory). By the end of the day, the surfers were thanking the invisible man in the sky for their good fortune.
By the title, I thought this might be another God thread… Long live God and Jim Cramer.
Artie is on fire today.
I wanted to make some Gefilte Fish or Kreplach crack, but it just wasn’t coming to me. Oy. Maybe a nice kugel and some Manischewitz will make you feel better, Lewis, bubby.
billabong throws down the money so they can do the event wherever they want. if its the best wave in europe on its day then it’ll get the most hype. if the waves are shitty then it’s shitty for everyone, so nobody really has an advantage. the best surfers in the world can win in all conditions.
Mark, this is God here.
Sorry but the story in that fairytale book your Grandma gave you (called the bible) was slightly skewed. I guess after a couple thousand years it happens. Like Chinese whispers… please let me set the story straight.
I’d just finished surfing that beachbreak in the land you now call Israel. 2ft wedges, fun, Bar Rafaeli the 1st was tanning her tits so all was good… I had a few wines, grilled fish, and some hummus dip etc with my bros (eddie rothman 1st, shaun thompson 1st, etc) and got a bit merry and went looking for chicks.
There wasn’t really much on offer (the roman jocks were throwing a party and we weren’t invited) so we visited a whore house accross the border and there wasn’t really enough pussy to go around so…
Me and my bro Mohammad tagged this slut named Mary. She was mean kine- great legs. If you want details- I pounded her pile-driver style without a rubber and knocked her up. I paid 3 gold beads and he paid 1, so I guess she thought I was richer. That’s probably why she claimed it was me- for pride. Plus that ****er is an ugly fucker… Regardless, there has always been some confusion.
Anyway I never knew about the kid until after he was born. His mum made up some shitty story about his Dad coming from outer space. Most of her clients were rich roman fags and when she refused to continue doing anal they turned against her and her son. (My kid - jesus).
Jesus was on meth half the time with his buddy Lewis Samuels the 1st. He’d spin wild stories about surfing (walking on water) and Lewis wrote it all down on his stone tablet. Jesus and his gang (disciples) surfed their brains out daily. The little cunt dropped in on me a number of times without even knowing his being had materialized from my sticky jizz.
He used to carve a cross logo into his planks. ( † ). Before long he turned it into a clothing company called Christianity Inc. which made quick-dry robes with 4-way stretch. He sponsored Alexander Knoxus the 1st and Donovonus the 1st with these fashionable rags. (is this an infomercial??!)
Anyway in the financial crisis of 10BC he ripped off this Roman investor group who had funded his travels to Syria. They took over, nailed him to his own logo and took Christianity Inc public. It was a wild success- they copied lewis’ trippy stories and made a best-seller book of fables (the bible).
2000 years later the brand is still going off but faces a few rivals in Islam (mohummad’s brand) and Da hui (Eddie’s line of ‘gear’). Their descendants are still proudly methed out.
Anyway mark enough of the history lesson, see you before you go to bed tonight. thanks for reading this bullshit you just wasted 5 minutes of your life.
god bless you when you sneeze xx
.. and you just wasted an hour of your life
Thanks Rob.
Am I the only one cynical enough to say that guys like him make the tour about 1000x more boring?
hahaha @ god
I respect Roy-boy, he’s grounded and hard-working.
As to what pro surfers do once they finish competing? I thought we all knew they serve as “team managers” for the companies they used to ride for…duh
DuDE Kelly not number one after quik pro, but that doesn’t mean you can rag on the dude so hard i mean your talking about the guy who gets combo and with two waves back to back within two minutes is wining the heat and on a 5′11″ in about 8″ foot Hawaiian at pipe. SHOW SOME RESPECT MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sorry i didn’t mean to comment about Kelly after roy’s article