On Sundays I take a break from regular posting, nurse my hangover, and highlight reader comments. But I'm not sure if there's any need to fan the flames of the multiple controversies that are still burning in the comments sections this week.
So I'll shed light on a totally unrelated shit storm that got started when Anthony W. commented on Portugal. In reference to what? I have no idea. I guess Anthony read some other comments that had nothing to do with Portugal, and figured that PostSurf is kinda like a support group where really angry surfers can share their random hostile thoughts.
Now multiple Portuguese websites have picked up the story, and some of them are incorrectly assuming I wrote the comment below. Sweet! Thanks Anthony.
Tiago runs to the safety of a bay. Photo: SurfersVillage.com
Anthony W. says: March 23, 2009 at 3:06 am
AHAHHAHA… Portugal… country of Tigers… country of the pussiest waveriders ever! When waves get bigger they all run away to the safety bays where it’s 2 foot offshore and make faces of someone getting spit out of an 8 foot pipe barrel on a bogging bottom turn. How did Tiago Pires got that Tiger alias? He looks more like a turtle with weird arm positioning. Is the guy’s neck that short or does he tuck in between his shoulders as protection from the real tigers? God, his surfing makes me wanna vomit… looks just like another brazzo from the wrong side of the Atlantic. Peace out!
Hugo says: March 27, 2009 at 5:18 am
Hey you all, with such big balls, just come and join Tiago and all his fellow pussies at their home break. Just have a look at him surfing 2 foot offshore and claiming here… http://postsurf.com/2009/03/21/outsider-art/#comments (Editor's note: this link goes to 70s photos of guys riding two-foot waves.)
Hugo says: March 27, 2009 at 5:20 am
With the correct link now…
banjo says: March 28, 2009 at 1:08 pm
Let “The Lewis” be the judge… Tiago Pires, tiger or kook?
Diogo from Portugal says: March 29, 2009 at 4:12 am
Tiger dudes ! Look at this SURFLINE video
And dudes, when Slater saw this video, he freaked out ! And after Bali 08 he said Tiago was one of the best tube riders in the world!
So, all you jerks who hate Portugal, come here, I will get you to some waves and see if you do better then us portugueses and tiago !
You are such a pricks!
Not concerned abou Tiago. What preoccupies my concerns now is having to look at Jon Jon for the next ten years. Seriously, Kelly and the several of the other more upstanding and articulate ambassadors of our sport really only have several more years left. Is this what I have to look forward too? Jon Jon? Say it ain’t gonna be so…
“Proffesor” throws a kid under a bus that the post never mentions.
The raining day, school game of telephone just passed it’s first participant and the subject has already drowned. Where wil it go from here?
To you psychiatry students out there, Lewis Samuels just handed you your thesis.
Professor raises an interesting point. Who will be the next ambassador? Drunken chick beating Chris Ward? F-bomb Bruce? Or, how about a really grammatically disastrous Hawaiian- “I seen dis/ I seen dat brah”
rip curl is having their ’search’ WCT comp in portugal this year, right after mundaka…supposed to be at coxos, the heavy right?
I nominate Bobby Martinez. He’s got a lot to say for himself and it’s hard not to like a guy who is candid engouh to call out Slater’s bs (http://surfermag.com/magazine/archivedissues/almost-not-famous-july-2007/index4.html). Regularly, I might add. Cons: He has his own grammar problems and the full-back Mexican Civil War soldier tattoo might keep him off of the Most Beautiful People in the World list.
AHA, thanks Lewis, my comment on one of your posts, it kills me !
I was just complaining about Anthony W. not you! You’re great dude and i love your power rankings ! I even hope you continue doing them, seriously.
portugal is great anyway and if the rumour confirms, we’ll have a WT stop in our country. I know ASP does a lot of mistakes but Portugal does have great waves and i really hope our waves shine during the stop.
Keep making heads role in surf industry dude !
Mr. Lewis, you not no anything. Portugal is best waves and have most bravest surfers. We have a saying about our most bravest surfers, I will translate:
“when waves big for because giant squids make loving, proud linguica’s ride squid hard.”
^oh fuck that is some funny shit Tiago Linguica. lmao. “giant squids making loving” hahahahahah Sounds like a girl I had once. at least I hope it was a girl.
why would you WANT a wct at your break or even in your country. fuck that. leave coxos alone. try “searching” Slater’s hemorrhoids for your new break.
The last asp contest that went down in Portugal had what Hynd was calling at the time the hypest freesurf sessions of the year down the road at a very Honolua like right called Coxos.If you guys don’t mind I don’t mind watching the fellows rip your beautiful wave. Sunny went back to back that year and Herring was ripping as well as Gerlach. That Surfline footage of Tiago a few years ago there and near there was all timers disease for sho.
the surf in portugal is more relevant than the surfing of its current wct ambassador.
We are still a few years out from a serious euro or brazo contender.
Best put your money on julien, jordy, or dane next year. This seems like a lost in the wilderness situation for the tour. One of those ones where no one gets the momentum and some one title wonder who never really could have won in an “on” year lucks into the situation of a lifetime?
unless they piss slater off enough to ditch the kneeboards
Jiggy Jig has NO feel for the pulse of the tour. What about Parko you idiot!? Lewis should erase that lame post…uhhh..comment from this , what is it called?, blog for good! P.S, Julian isnt ON the CT you C–T! I am SURROUNDED by idiots. P.S, Coxos does look killer.
who gives a F*#” about Anthony’s opinion ?
Yeah dude you’re Right…Portugal sucks…don’t even come.
Instead go back to Hawaii.. lick their balls as you’ve been probably doing for all your live….
And C you’re right about one thing. We DON’T want a CT in Portugal But the problem is there are a few politicians who are now starting to look at surfing for their own benefict…or for the benefict of their board…
What’s a benefict?
Hey Tony Dub, thank you for pardoning us.
In your comment you said, “[y]ou guys seemed like posers to me.”
Clearly you had previously thought us posers.
Now, I don’t know what we did to redeem ourselves, but, if I may speak for all of us, we are relieved that, though we HAD “seemed” like posers, we no longer fall into that ignoble category.
The CT won´t be at Coxos for sure.It will be in Peniche probably Supertubos, which is also a great wave, a powerfull beachbreak very similar to La graviére in France.
Jiggy Jig is spot on again.
Parko is too happy, just like Taj. Angry men win titles. The season drags and the motivation has to burn internally. Kelly will be lying in the weeds, biding his time, mathematically relevant.
Mark never disappoints, always off key. Consistently wrong.
As for one year wonders, watch Bede, he has the fire. Kind of like Barton Lynch…. no one wanted to surf like him, but he knew how to play.
If Portugal was so rad, it would’ve been exposed to death by now. Every dog has his day, so good luck Dream Tour. As for the Portugal boys, keep killing it in obscurity….. as long as no surf corp places it’s executive offices there, you’re behind the eight ball.
It’s funny, we never gave a shit about exposure, just the opposite. If I was a Coxo’s local, the last thing in the world I would want is a CT circus. All the closely guarded secrets we’ve held so long, and these guys are claiming. Makes about as much sense as riding retro garbage.
How about a “golf clap” for Lewis, pulling anger from Europe, no less!
mark, regarding Julien, you will notice, if you re-read the comment that I said NEXT YEAR when he will no doubt be on it.
Parko could very well win it and it could turn into a killer tour year. It is possible. Doesn’t feel like one to me though. Feels like a “Barton Lynch” kind of year or a “Hobgood” year to me. Just the vibe I get.
Feels like the changing of the guard kind of season.
A note on Parko vs. Slater (and also Hobgoods whinging) : Too often what is attributed to “style”, ie., Slaters “shazam” moves has far more to do with superior integration of upper body technique. Parko has just as good, if not superior “lower body technique” but no one matches Slater for upper body technique, overall technique, and the ability to put it together and adapt to changing performance levels. It’s all about weighting and unweighting and follow-through. Parko is years behind Slates in that dept. This applies to any other surfer on tour as well when compared to Slater. You don’t win 9 titles with “style”. You win with better technique. Don’t confuse the two.
Analyzing Parko and Kelly, full body integration through short radius turns with PROJECTION favors Kelly. Most of the talent at that level has a bag of tricks, the difference between elites is linking and projection. Recovering smoothly is the conduit to that projection and no one has matched Slater since Chris Brown.
That’s right, Chris Brown. The NSSA final at Lowers that cathartic year was a porthole into the future. I haven’t seen footage of that heat together, but Billabong’s “In the Wind” and Quik’s “Black and White” show each riders heat.
The one aspect of Parko that is so fucking insane is his “hits” off his roundhouse cutbacks….. smooth and deceptively critical. Taj has the front leg drive and boost, total body control above the lip. Fanning the drive, AI the position. Slater has it all.
I think Jiggy should replace LS with the power rankings, but the changing of the guard is a year away.
It’s an interesting sport eh? Chris Brown, Gary Green, Nicky Wood, David Eggers, Rasta, maybe add Marzo on there too, some would say Kalani but I wouldn’t…..the list of the boys who could have become the men who might have been king but for a fatal flaw, drugs, growth spurts, evil women, injuries, demented hippy leftist disease (not necessarily in that order)…. it’s a rough world for prodigies.
I reckon Mikes assessment of the top talent is on the money and far more pithy than my rants into left field. Maybe AI can pull it back for an Occy in a year or two? Be fun to watch. Maybe a retired Slater could coach him? LOL.
I think Slater also has an advantage in body awareness that is often overlooked. Most guys just know what being on feels like and try to get there and hold onto the feeling. Slater knows the why what and how of getting there to that feeling and can visualize what any new move will require in terms of body dynamics. Combine that with focus, ego, and “game” and the guy probably could fool the world and win on his kneeboards. But that would be tragic as it would mean multiple top 16 talents would commit suicide.
Nicky Wood…. cursed by an evil chick before he gave Curren and Occ a run. But he had it in him.
Kalani had it all and comboed it with a polish even Parko has trouble matching. But remember what I said about being too happy. Technically perfect.
Think about what Kelly left in the dust, serious talent….. Mob, Dorian, Knox and Brownie. Throw in Shane Herring for good measure. The only “Momentum” challenge came from uber Shane Beschen, not scared, not in awe and radical to boot.
The only obstacle Mr Quik ever faced since Besch was an equally angry Andy. Let’s all hope he returns with his game face, but marriage and better waves in Kauai don’t predict that return to form. Throw in filthy surf trips off the beaten path….
You know what they say about a horse that escapes the corral.
Mike and Jiggy Jig should get a room. That is a straight up homo bro down couple right there. Fucking NASTY!
Has Julian ENTERED a QS this year? much less made an impact?
Alone on a crowded, angry island full of have nots, one Alambama boy lashes out at anyone within reading distance. His ideology has failed universally and he sits alone at night, far from home, awake by the computer.
The kid who realized he was losing (lost,) so he picked up the game board and went home. 10 minutes later, he has his hand raised to be picked in basketball. And no, I’m not talking about GWB.
Maybe you should read Jiggy and learn a thing or two… don’t be scared, information is helpful. I enjoy a challenging conversation which somehow triggers your insecurity about gays. It’s not too late for help.
Come now, Mark loves gays, he’s just trying to save their souls, as God would have him do, but shaming them into conversion. After all, hate and closed-mindedness are exactly what the bible calls for, no? No worries that the big cheese in the sky will sort it all out at the end of the day anyway, it’s up to Mark and his hillbilly kin to save us all NOW.
Stu, you have to put the kitty back into the middle of the table, Mark posted last night after your bet.
everyone on here has too much time on their hands!
accordingly, i suggest you log onto to further your reclusive lifestyle
Hmmm that was weird, my comment got eaten. Anyway I wanted to say that it’s nice to know that someone else also mentioned this as I had trouble finding the same info elsewhere. This was the first place that told me the answer. Thanks.