Fleeing the Country.

Posted by lewis on March 30, 2009 at 6:53 am.

Greener Pastures.  Photo: Lewis Samuels

Greener Pastures. Photo: Lewis Samuels

I am off to greener pastures on something called a "surfing trip."

I can't wait to get to Brazil and start counting my barrels!

I'm not entirely sure if they have the world wide web there, or if we only have that here in America. So posts may become sporadic.

In the meantime - let's hear some stories from the trenches. What's your most memorable surf trip moment?


  • Andre says:

    Yeah, we do have the web here.
    Are you coming to the South?

  • DingDong says:

    Enjoy the snake-fest.

  • Ray O'Sullivan says:

    Why not post a picture of Brazil if thats where you are going??? I know thats my local in Ireland

  • Hmmmmmm says:

    Barrels. Brazil. A mismatched picture.

    Maybe someone isn’t going to Brazil?

    Try a little harder guys.

  • Ray O'Sullivan says:

    true true - more effort needed lewis haha

  • Andre says:

    Hmmmmmm says:

    “Barrels. Brazil. A mismatched picture. ”

    Clearly you’ve never been to Brazil…

  • Bad Vibe Bob says:

    Tags: Cheese Weasel, surf, industry, gay mollusk, butt jam, hateful locals, sellout, carpo, jacked,
    charlie, gay surfline, who cares. Kyle Lightner, Frankenstein, Straight-off Adolph. yuppie surfer, jocko homo Oprah show, shine, whine, Kline.
    You do it to yourself each and every time and come up empty. Malibu Wall. Dora.

  • Hmmmmmm says:

    Andre, the mismatched picture referred to the photo on the post that wasn’t of Brazil.

    But to add to the fact that LS probably isn’t going to your Acai Nation is also that he feigned ignorance about the internet access…in ALL of S. America.

  • Alex Smith says:

    lewis is going to chile

  • matt says:

    Make sure you only count the barrels you make, Lewey.

  • Mark says:

    Please go Lewis and try to stay for awhile. Hopefully somewhere WITHOUT internet. I need a break from this garbage. P.S, I had a great trip to Bali and G-Land for a month in 2002 and was turned onto a magical secret spot ( I Have yet to see it in the mags ) in Bali. An actual cobblestone right pointbreak in the land of lefts shown to me by Mark from Wollongong. Looked like Queensland! No one there. Thanks mate! Had a cold beer at the sari club right before I went to the airport and then was mortified a few days later upon hearing of the bombing. The Balinese are beautiful people. They would never make mean, nasty comments about me the way that Artie and Stu have on this blog.

  • Mark's Uncle Reebus From Alabama says:

    ‘Dem peeple’s in ‘dat South Amerika ‘dere r bunch of atheist freaks, watch yerself ‘dere Lewis.

  • the irish dude again from above says:

    hmmmm. Andre

    Clearly you didnt read what was written

  • Future Surf Company CEO says:

    On my last Surf trip I
    went out 20 time
    paddled for 2000 waves.
    caught 400 waves,
    stood up on 250 waves,
    made my Greg Noll Waimea Stance drop on 100 waves,
    Did my patented poo stance bottom turn on 50 waves,
    did half turns on 25 waves,
    pulled in ostridge style on 5 waves,
    and rode and pulled out of a wave successfully 1 time.
    Sounds like I work a lot harder than Paul Naude does. I should be the Billabong CEO.

  • stu says:

    ah, but a majority of them would, Mark, if only they knew how you thought they were going to hell for not believing in your God. Oh, and the poster re Lewis going to Chile is right.

  • Luiz says:

    be carefull with the wild monkeys too

  • Cyrus says:

    Lewis, gonna drop the shameless plug. Click here: http://theextremescene.com/audio/march-28th-segment-2-lewis-samuels to listen to Lewis’ appearance on our radio show. Party on.

  • the irish dude again from above says:

    if your refering to chile cause of the pic i can assure you its ireland… pmpas - donegal - fact!

    if not my apologies…

  • seb says:

    it does look identical that spot but dude does it really matter?

    entertaining interview cyrus

  • Francisco_Ipanema says:

    Counting barrels in Brazil????????

  • André says:

    yeah, my bad.

  • Guile says:


    Does “barrels” translate to “Sexually Transmitted Diseases” in Portugese?

    Say “Hi” to Blanka for me.


  • ARMBAR says:

    lewis is not headed to the land of Brazus…for surfing. This cat loves those indoesque waves with a penchant for mega lefts. I have witnessed him at maccas getting deeply shacked. Chile- is a good thought, maybe a stop-over for brazu felines. A little known fact is that Lewis has been training in the Gracie method for a number of years, so a trip to the “motherland of submission” might be in order- I really pitty the power-ranking tool who tries to screw with him because of bad coverage. Just ask Joel Tudor who has faced Lewis in BJJ competition in SanDiego.

  • Yeats your Gravedigger says:

    Irie Dude! Why would you claim a spot like that after local land developers and those do good Californian grungy unshaven hippy rippers have already wreaked enough havoc? Besides, the photo is clearly of a particular lefty in Normandy, not Co. Limerick…. Can’t you see the land in the background…Helllooo, English Channel! That’s the UK dude! Would you want Paul Naude to show up with bikini clad OC chickies and all his mates at the Pontus Pub offering you a bro down brewski after jockeying you and your good buddy Seamus down there? That guy IS browsing and he is cranking the props of the Clipper as we speak. Oh and if he isn’t HIS TEAM IS! And Surfline is going to come with! For free! With Sean Collins’ son! And his buds! Oh wait, your 50 euro board shorts, Oh, I guess the trip wasn’t free. YOU PAID FOR IT! Good thing is, they are actually hitting Normandy though. Why, because I am letting them in on the secret: Normandy CRANKS!

    No seriously, the spot depicted in this photo IS in Normandy and IS actually referred to as PTMQBTDC (putain ta mere qui bois trop du cidre) The French say the name so fast. don’t know, I just hear the “p’tain dta’mer” part. So I guess you could call it PTM’s for short. If anyone ever goes there they should just make a right as they drive south past way past Le Omaha Beach to out to Hameau Grunchy. Make another sharp right at “Le Racing Poulet” PMU Tabac 4 km before E46 HWY at the D14, another right at “Obelix” oyster shack (N 214) and cross the knotted trees in the apple orchard. The one with green apples. If you are there in winter you might be fucked, there are apple orchards everywhere and in only one hangeth the famously tangy Pippin variety. Its ok, the spot generallyy pumps when the apples are plump. (is that too much of a givaway? - excusez moi mes amis francais) You’ll see it. The sign just says “PTMQBTDC”. Graffiti. Its so weird, you can’t miss it. There’s also a bunker that says “Hitler es ein ScheiBe esser” to the north and one to the south with a mural of a Psilocybin munching Batman wearing Rising Sun boardies in a left tube. Below it is reads… “P.N. was here”. Seriously bizarre part of France with amazing reefs!

  • Mike says:

    Maybe Lewis was being sarcastic again? Not that the Quiz post was any indication. And pick up Eggers latest novel for the flight.

    Hey Mark, can you scan a map of that secret in Bali to the blog? I’m sure your mate Mark from Wolly would appreciate your candor.

    But why trash an Alabama hillbillyboy when Yeats is selling out France. Unbelieivable.

  • Bodhi says:

    BraZil? Who cares! All the world cares is which country US is bombing next. Hopefully not Brasil because it just happen to be where i’m typing from, using Blanka as my power source and my trained chain of electrified monkeys to power up my cardboard computer - but not in rainy days though! If you consider that it rains 363 days of the year, do the math of how long brasilians stay online…

  • Rodrigo says:

    I heard that Lewis is arriving at Brazil’s capital, Buenos Aires, tomorrow.

  • Eduardo says:

    I wonder what Lewis is doing right now.

  • Mark says:

    Why you hatin me so hard Mike? The place I surfed only breaks on a really big swell when there are 30 other world class spots working plus the winds are fickle and the wave itself is good but not what you travel the world to find. Lewis asked for a memorable surf trip moment so I obliged. Having just returned from 10 days at Grajagan where it was really big and really crowded I was stoked to meet a super cool Aussie who turned me on to a little slice of heaven off of the beaten path. We scored for 2 days practically alone then I bailed back to the Bukit. End of story. Why are you so angry at me Mike? Taylor Steele is flashing Desert points underpanties to the world from every concievable angle and you grind me for a vague reference to a relatively b grade wave that practically never breaks? Sounds like your beef with me is personal. Sorry if I offended you bro. Would it make you happy if I just quit commenting on this site altogether? Cause I WILL pal. I will pull a Brad Pitt on your little Jennifer Anniston ass and you will be lost without me. Aloha you jerk!

  • dr says:

    No way Bells is bigger than waimea bro!

  • Ray O'Sullivan says:


    thats not normandy or the english channel you retard - its the other side of the bay - and there is co. limerick is landlocked you kook!!

    plus no need to claim it as secret when pretty much anyone who knows anything about surfing europe knows where it is - its on numerous websites and in numerous mags!!!

    your full of it buddy… you cant see the uk from normandy, how close do you think it is…

  • ryan says:

    How can you afford such fuckery?

  • stu says:

    is Mark threatening to quit this site again? Man I wish there was a way to place a wager in that.

  • stu says:

    or, perhaps on that.

  • Blasphemy Rotmouth says:


    You’re a slobbering vagina. Just admit you’re frothing from your pendulous labia for every Lewis Samuels post so you can rant for the four-hundredth time in a row that it’s a bunch of bullshit. Shit’s as stale as your grandma’s cervix.

    You, good sir, are to interesting surfing commentary, what Lewis Samuels is to goat fucking. You may seem like you’re doing it, but it actually doesn’t count.

  • Pirate Salsa says:

    I’m pretty sure this isn’t the first time that bible-thumping, Obama-hating Mark has threatened to stop commenting here. Mark: Please act on your threat. I dare you.

  • Yeats your Gravedigger says:


    I knew I should have surveyed Google Earth beforehand. Fuck, Damn, Shit, God, I’m a kook :-( I confess to spurious contrivances and other grievous and misanthropic lies to sustain the overbearing weight of my own Rupert Murdoch sized ego. It is so lonely in my underground Inner Hebridian cave complex. I am a ghost of what I once was, an albino termite devouring the cellulose of the print world, a rabid fur patched rat gnawing at the copper life sustaining wires of digital corruption. Like Scoob and Shagggy, in one mythical swoop, you have foiled my attempt to betray the world. I shall return!


  • Jennifer Anniston says:

    I used to date Pirate Salsa until I came home one day and some dude named Artie was mackin on him. It was SO gross.

  • The Ghost of Bear Bryant says:

    Hey Blasphemy Rotmouth! If I could come down there right now I would wash your mouth out with soap and make you do 100 sprints in the Tuscaloosa summer sun until you puked! I knew Marks grandmother and she was a good woman! What would YOUR momma do if she heard you talk like that?

  • Blasphemy Rotmouth says:

    Somewhere on the other side of the world, there lies a colossal mountain of shit rising three thousand feet from the ocean below. Mark has decided to eat it, bit by bit. It is a mountain like any other: vegetation, rocks, soil, animals and even the bone-dry fallopian tubes of Mark’s mother that walk up and down its slopes. Every morning he throws himself upon it and starts chewing. Mark can very clearly see the mountain losing both heft and height.

    That mountain goes by one name: Irony.

    And after his feast, Mark delivers his morning constitutional; consisting of partially digested potted meat and lamb tails… followed by a single wet fart.

    That fart, is then roughly translated into his daily comment for this blog.

  • Blasphemy Rotmouth says:

    For all you haters of L.S., I give you this:

    In 1989 Lewis Samuels levitated down the center of Main Street in Huntington Beach, causing every toilet to flush in conjunction with Layne Beachley’s orgasms for the next two years…

    …no one ever connected these two monumental events.

    Until now.

    You can thank me later.

  • Junior College Professor says:

    Hey Occy’s Rotmouth, the colossal mountain of irony posting is pretty good. Much improved, young padawan.

    And thanks to you, a terrified child in Worcestershire is free from bondage. The ghost of Peter Mark Roget had enslaved this said sad child to nightly inject his remains with a witches brew of antidepressants ever since you began abusing his life’s work.

    Tonight, I believe, they will both rest in peace.

  • Blasphemy Rotmouth says:

    I wish I was young. And I wish I was smart. But after a fifth of whisky, I too, shall sleep in peace tonight.


  • Mike says:

    Humanity has suffocated the last 8 years under the cloak of “conservatism”. Money has toyed with “God” and the radical extremists known as “Christians” have rolled over for the doctrine of eternal fear….

    No one hates you Mark, but your type of hypocrisy can not be tolerated. A compliant press read from a compromised script during historic graft by a corporate imperative that had no social responsibility. Every time you post, you write something so contradictory to any surfers best interest.

    How many times have you QUIT…. and then post immediately there after. Stu is now betting on you!

    As for most of us, we are fiscally conservative, environmentally conscious and socially responsible…… Progressive Liberals. We believe in science, logic and debate.

    Surfers used to represent individalism…. now, as you Mark personify, they represent pawns in a corporate wind. Aloha, Brah.

  • marks says:

    Mike is a complete fucking KOOK! And I am done with this site for real.

  • Blasphemy Rottmouth says:


    Your wet farts stink.

    Good-bye sweet prince.

  • BADVIBEBOB says:


  • Ray O'Sullivan says:

    your forgiven… and a somewhat literary genius !!

  • Hmmmm says:

    Maybe, just maybe he’s trying to throw us way off track. Saying he’s going to Brazil, posting a picture of Ireland, all at the same time as the #2 stop on the WCT. LS trying to go covert? Gonna hang out on the cliff at Bells without Jordy spotting you? Huh? Huh?

  • Mike says:

    And the clock ticks until Marks next post.

  • artie says:

    God won’t let mark leave this site. He’s here to serve a larger purpose.

  • marks mom says:

    My son is finished with this. Please leave him alone and please quit protesting in front of his home. You are freaking out his family and his dog wont quit barking. Why dont you go back to picketing those A.I.G. employees instead? Mark is a nice young man who just got a little carried away with his comments and all he wants now is to live in peace. P.S. Can you explain to me why some man with a funny accent from Wallangang or somwhere is threatening to hurt my boy? Something about Mark ruining this mans skiing spot. I nevar could see why y’all surfers are so territorial. Arent there enough skiing spots for everyone?

  • Felipe says:

    Please, don´t come to Brazil. We don´t need americans here, you guys from USA are crashing the world´s economy!!
    By the way things are turning in USA, in a few years you´re gonna ask money to Brazil!!
    So do not come to bring american ignorance tou our beloved jungles… And hey, soon Brazilian surfers are gonna be wealthier than you guys in america!! Maybe we can buy california or Hawaii from America’s Governement. Would be great, we could send all american surfers to Australia and get the waves and the girls for the Brazos. The american girls would be very thankfull, for sure, ’cause you know, guys… Brazilian are MUCH MUCH better lovers than americans…

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