Blasph, Sunny is slow and heavy and onto his third trophy….. wife. Your trying too hard and attempts that fall short of your award winning performances detract from your “legacy”.

Jigg, is that contest still running? I love the Jordy worship after one round, but Dane’s exit doesn’t leave the door wide open. And whose going to beat Kelly in fat, sloppy rights? Stay glued to your computer screen for the action, the waiting period ticks away and the weather is looking pretty sus…..

Kind of funny how Mark’s whole family escaped God’s country and now can be lured back by free golf and Mommies free tickets back to hell.

It confirmed her belief that surfing and California-Hawaii in general is full of homosexuals. She is now offering my family and I free one way tickets back to God’s Country which is actually kind of enticing since sales are down and summer flatness is rapidly approaching the North Shore of Oahu.

Free golf at the country club, killer homes for $80,000 and no Brazilians. Plus I can still keep up with the surfing world via the internet and I can get REALLY mean and specific on Post Surf without fear of being outed thus igniting retaliation the likes which has not been seen since Rabbit and Ian were holed up playing solitaire at the Kui back in 76′.

It’s physically impossible for me to make fun of Sunny Garcia.

Sunny once slapped a Japanese dude so hard it killed his ancestors, which technically made him a World War 2 Ace Fighter Pilot. And the reason people fear him in large surf is because he has webbed feet… on each taint hair. Moreover, he surfs on boards crafted of gilded splinters garnered from the discarded toilet handrails from the Vatican.

Last, but not least, Sunny Garcia once raped his own urethra with his own weenie.

You figure that shit it out.

My respect lies firmly with Da Hui. Nalu! Mütherfücker!

I guess winning a world title like Sunny did is nothing compared to ” comment of the week ” on Post Surf.
P.S. I heard a rumor that B. Rot is actually Alex Knost.

Compadres, let us not write off the name that’s recognized the world over as the face of professional surfing: Dayyan Neve. Let us pray his fated victory at Bells isn’t held back by his uncanny ability to ‘off-the-lip’ his foes to death in the true litmus test of mediocre on-shore closeout conditions that has become the WCT.

Don’t get me wrong, Dayyan surely can surf…

…like an epileptic amoeba…

…Like a beat gunfighter dodging rounds from a Tommy Gun being fired by Ray Charles after smoking twenty-one grams of angel dust…

…Like a convulsing French Fry krumping in fear as the basket nears the boiling vat of oil..

…Or, like a trust fund suburbanite doing the Lambada with HIV laced thumb-tacs placed in his shoes after learning his abusive father just got that sobering call from Bernard Madoff’s attorneys.

…Sounds like the dude that replenishes the toilet seat covers in our restrooms has finally found his replacement.

Dayyan?

Agree with Mark that Jordy might have the mo, seize the day, rise from the ashes, raise the bar and all that rot and give us a year worth watching on the cunt tour after all. Not a tough call given that he dominated round one so completely that it looked like he was surfing in the womens event. I expected him to rise up next year but he looks enrgized and suddenly capable of consistancy delivering solid confidence. I hope he can deliver and shock the complacency and dead wood from the tour. It’s a lot to ask of a pup to hold focus……..

and there is still that nagging problem of big hollow lefts he needs to overcome but until then……

give us a glimmer, that’s all we need

P.S-We love you Lewis, please keep the economical fuckery going.