One thing PostSurf has taught me: any retard can start an awesome surf website.
One of the latest is , started by Fred Patacchia and his partner Andrew Oliver.
They just put up this unintentionally hilarious on Surfline about a Bruce Irons interview.
Fred intwerviews Bruce. Photo: InSurfNews.com
So much to savor in that ... Where to begin?
They tell us that in the interview, Bruce Irons "discusses his store, life after tour, and his new baby with longtime friend and former competitor Fred 'FreddyP' Patacchia."
Astute readers will notice TWO bombshell announcements in that last sentence:
1) Fred P is referred to as a "former competitor" - does this mean he has retired?
2) And what about Bruce's "new baby with longtime friend and former competitor Fred 'FreddyP' Patacchia?"
WOW! This is awesome. Bruce and Fred had a baby together!?!?
As a staunch believer in equal rights, I wholeheartedly support both gay marriage and gay couples' right to adopt.
So if InSurfNews is trying to announce what it sounds like they're trying to announce, congrats to Bruce and Fred!
Of course, it's possible that my inferences are the unfortunate result of misleading sentence structure in the press release.
After all, this is a website started by a pro surfer. But in the same press release, we're told "Insurfnews.com is the partnership of Fred 'FreddyP' Patacchia and Andrew Oliver. The two surfers, one a member of the ASP World Tour and the other an average surf fan/journalism major, give their opposing viewpoints to the world of professional surfing. FreddyP and Andrew are traveling the world together..."
Again, I'm not sure what to believe. If the site is run by a journalism major, the press releases should feature well-crafted sentences. But, upon reflection, it does say that Oliver is "an average surf fan/journalism major." Perhaps, as only an average journalism major, he hasn't yet mastered the craft of writing clear, concise sentences.
And what about the "partnership of Fred 'FreddyP' Patacchia and Andrew Oliver...traveling the world together..."
Did Fred leave Bruce for Andrew? Am I not parsing these sentences correctly?
I'm so CONFUSED... But supportive of both Fred's choices and his new site. He seems like a really cool guy.
from on .
I read the press release. I think. I mean, there were words and some punctuation. In all honesty, I think Freddy P and Andrew Oliver deserve accolades; which I assure you they think is a stirring review of their infantile project.
However, I define accolades as having a recently shaved rabid baboon, sporting 3-day stubble, anesthetised, inserted into Andrew Oliver’s abdomen cavity; sewn shut with a breathing straw protruding from the “Y” incision, and then have both of them shocked to consciousness with a heart injection of adrenaline, carbonated Red Bull, and cayenne pepper.
The resulting hijinks would be like sitting front-row at a Gallagher concert… if Gallagher dealt only in raw ragged innards versus melons.
I am now going to go shave my balls with a barnacle shell - for they are all that I have left after reading that press release.
Good-bye cruel world.
I heard Freddy P. is trying desperately to get added as a friend on Alex Knost’s Facebook page.
man, compared to Joe Biden, these guys are like Einstein and Plato.
Please note that comments on Freddy P’s site are subject to moderator review. He must have gotten Surfline’s email (although, I do wonder who he found to read it to him).
Judging by his molestache, Freddy P is one windowless Econoline Van, a trench coat, and an elementary school away from attaining the pinnacle of his life’s aspirations.
That’s some look. It’s a look that tells us he’s the ruthless leader of the cold-blooded Penguin Gonad Cartel. It’s a look that say he once mop-fucked Anne Coulter in a janitor’s closet at the RNC last August. It’s a look that says, “I once passed a kidney stone that turned out to be Dr. Phil’s wallet.”
“But don’t worry, I returned it with the money still in it.”
Bruce gives me douchechills
Bruce indeed comes across as a total douche. And he is not a Lewis Samuels fan. The hate is palpable.
Also, Freddy P is looking more and more like Mr. Miagi from the Karate Kid.
When do we get the real AI interview?
People forget that the vast majority (I would never generalize & say “all”) of pro athletes are borderline retarded because all they have done from an early age is focus on a specific physical pursuit. They do not work too much on the intellect. It’s no accident that athletes blow through their insane salaries & are left to sell autographs in retirement.
In other sports the athletes are at least fair game for criticism by the media. Lewis brings us that, finally. I would say it’s hillarious that Bruce is so obviously bothered by internet criticsm if it weren’t so pathetic. Maybe he needs to visit Steds’ shrink.
Lewis, on behalf of everyone everywhere, thank you.
Dr. Phil’s wallet. Brilliant call right there. I was thinking the exact same thing.
Mark’s checklist for qualifications for vice presidential candidate:
Redneck. Check.
Doesn’t read. Check.
Spouts religious hate-speech. Check.
Kills animals. Check.
Has ridiculously annoying accent. Check.
Foreign policy experience consisting of being able to identify Russia on the horizon. Check.
Never had a passport. Check.
Forces daughter to marry redneck boyfriend/impregnator for campaign. Check.
I say to you good sir, thank God for Joe Biden, whose only foreign affairs experience is as former secretary of the foreign affairs committee of the senate.
I am not campaigning for Palin bro. I am just saying Biden is low caliber. If you cannot admit that then you are on the payroll like the rest of the regular media Mr. Ballz.
Holy fucking crap. Just watched that video interview. What a couple of major league idiots. Glad I stayed in school.
Too bad Romney wasn’t the right kind of Christian… people could have gotten behind that guy. Even Brucie.
Great piece of journalism right there, the only thing remotely entertaining was the picture of those FAT ahi’s. I dunno cant expect much really, freds main job is to surf the world tour so im guessing hes not givin it 100% of his effort. I really hope the other guy isnt gonna count on his journalism to get him through life or put food on his table unless he loves top ramen, riding the bus and living “outdoors” but then if hes traveling the world to do this I dont think he has any real money “issues” anyway. You know what sucks, when people have all these opportunities and get to do what should be interesting and cool and then just FAIL so hard.
Mark, first of all I am touched that you called me Mr. Ballz. I hesitate to take the blog over with politics by inviting your substantive criticism of Mr. Biden.
I share your disdain of the media. I don’t see the problem as so much of a left v. right issue though. The media was pretty easy on George W for at least his first 4 years. Did anyone even ask him before the invasion if he was sure there were wmds?
The problem with the “news” these days is that they’ve made it comprehensible for retards and have decided, in the interest of ratings and commercialization, to focus on issues that in the grand scheme of things are not actually news. If a rich white child goes missing in any one of our 50 states, I can be sure to get the latest from Nancy Grace or Wolf Blitzer. Meanwhile genocide goes unreported.
Sorry for the politics. Back to surfing.
Speaking of genocides, this photo of Brucie Irunsinthefaceofadversity and Freddie P is disturbing. Folks, in my 15 years of commenting on this website, I have NEVER seen one single photo cause the majority of my remaining brain cells to plead with Lewis Samuels to never ever show an image again. Now is that time.
But just like the United States had to march into Tokyo to liberate Auschwitz in the 50’s, so must we do our unpleasant duty and mock the glazed eyes and stunted synapses of professional surfers.
Carry on.
Its going to be interesting to see where Freddy P ends up. Based on the financial performance of ZQK I expect them to drop him in 2009 before filing for Chapter 11. Freddy is the leading candidate for the Reef bendover ” your fired Bobby Martinez move” Freddy P scored 3 2’s in this first heat as a commentator in my book. This is almost as sad as his young gun interviews. I guess it is better than selling ice on the North Shore. word.
Compelling and rich. Bruce, although allegedly authentic, comes across as a characature of a surfer who would have been played by a young David Hasselhoff. The sort of rediculously facile and underresearched role which would have made the Mitch Buchannan look like Travis Bickel.
I’m not sure why everyone is always so hard on pro athletes. They aren’t paid to be smart, they are paid to surf very well. So FreddyP can’t add subtract or punctuate a sentence with anywhere near my agility or general aplomb. He rides pipe better than I do. Sure, he get’s paid too much for doing that, but his career also ends in his mid 30’s and I can go on stringing sentences together till I’m very old indeed. Of course he’s stupid, but he’s got his decent qualities. That jaunty mustache comes to mind. It’s the ones who get paid to be journalists and still print things like that press release who really worry me.
As proof that truly anyone can be a surf journalist, check out this article:
Imagine the cerebral exchange that must have transpired in Freddy P’s interview with Chris Cote. Is neon a color? Do you like my moustache? Would Thomas Malthus have characterized the prospective swine flu pandemic as the inevitable beginning of the end?
Give us a preview Chris Cote. Please…
I don’t think people are too hard on athletes, just the ones who think they should do things like run an interview-driven web site and issue press releases. Sort of like LiLo and her singing career - after a lifetime of ass kissing from sponsors/mags/agents etc., they need a bit of truth, no?
@Ted,
You are correct on most accounts, and that article shivered me timbers. But, athletes are never beyond our reproach. For instance:
Slater’s head has less hair than an octopus dipped in a vat of Nair; less hair than Michael Flatley’s chest after river-dancing through a swimming pool full of disposable Bic razors; less hair than Paris Hilton’s rhesus-monkey-lipped poon, 5 minutes before leaving to go clubbing on a balmy L.A. Saturday night. His scalp is the yin to Robin William’s back. He has no pores, hence he must sweat through his urethra just as manatee do. His testes shine hairless and proud, like two peeled eggs, oiled and boiled and hanging low over our heads like twin Swords of Damocles, except they in this case would be custard-cudgels, about to mount an insurgency into the equally grassless savanna that is Jenny’s kielbasa garage.
Ummm. I lost my train of thought. Time for another drink.
Tis ironic that the irony bro now figures out that pro surfing is ‘three to the beach’. Maybe he wouldn’t have so many shit trophies if he figured it out a few years ago. I look forward to his toothless hobo years.
Who is Jenny? I thought Slater’s girlfriend was named Kalani?
I sensed a bit of jealously in that article. No doubt it was funny but i think deep down LS wishes he could be pro’s bitch. Shiiiit, i know I would — get a free ride to all the breaks they surf. Nigga pleeease.
At the risk of going against the grain……I decided to watch some other “interviews” that Freddy P. did on his website. While he’s on prized laureate interviewer, I found him at least entertaining and definitely more articulate than most of the ‘bro-brahs we encounter.
I concure with everyone else on Bruce. His veins run rampant with douche.
and apparently I should re-read my shit before I hit submit. “he’s no prize laureate” as opposed to “on prized…”
Carry on.
oh and concur not concure….
F it. I need to type better.
I thought it was tight. Bruce is comedy. Everyone has a surf website these days, but I don’t mind. It’s all just entertainment to me, this site included.
Lol @ Old Kook’s typos.
We need a trashcan so we can delete a bunk post; or at least have a preview button like Blogger has.
I know most of my posts after 11pm are riddled with bullshit typos.
But, I agree with your point. It’s entertainment. Like watching a car wreck. I cannot avert my eyes from the carnage. And for that, I am grateful.
Just to clarify, I find Freddy P funny and engaging. He’s way more entertaining that the christian siamese twins. The quip about the bike riders in Freddy Ps Packing for Tahiti video was fucking funny and the interview with an ASP judge was fine. He’s no journalist, but we understand that. Andrew Oliver is a FAIL in English, I think that’s what LS is on about.
Bruce has real issues about how he is perceived, just like his brother. They both need to see a mental health professional. Seriously.
@Old Kook, your keyboard might be upside down. Check it.
Oddly enough, I seem to recall relatively innocuous or even positive comments from Lewis about Bruce. Probably a few remarks about talent wasted or something like that. It’s not like he Aranbrued him.
this is nothing compared to the errors on the goodslife site. holy living fuck those guys can’t write.
Yipee cayaay, mini sirloin burgers! Yipee cayaay mini sirloin burgers! Yipee cayaaay mini sirloin burgers! Hee yaaww!
I’ve been touched by Brucei’s humbleness in such level I’ll spend the little money I’ve got shopping at his surf shop… but wait, um they don’t sell any boards, or fins or even wax…. LS was wondering where surfing is going? I’m sure people who shop at Hollister at least recognize their shallowness. The saddest part is that most of my shorts are volcom….
Old Kook said, “I should re-read my shit before I hit submit.”
Is he harkening back to that bastion of legal incorruptibility, the late Johnnie L. Cochran?
you can polish a turd until it sparkles, but it’s still a turd
Can you really polish a turd? And will it really sparkle?
Very Shakespearean, a la “a rose by any other name.”
Bil-O, the Bard of Dung.
I dug the inteview with kekoa….that was pretty epic, someone might be giving Lewis a run for his money.
Ah, the ever-insightful comments from PostSurf’s fashionably apathetic crew. Keep posting that borderline gibberish bullshit ’cause it keeps me entertained; I’m reminded of a 5th grader who has just discovered both sarcasm and the thesaurus on Microsoft Word, intent on proudly inputting his “opinions” (ORIGINALITY? NOPE NOT HERE!) in hopes Daddy Samuels notices and rewards him instead of giving him the beating of a lifetime for wearing his mother’s dresses, lipstick, and heels.
In short, we bag on FredP for his site; ok, fair enough the grammar’s a little rough. Both Fred and Andrew rip though, I daresay a little harder than even you Lew (oh gawd it’s hard to believe ain’t it), so do we now tell you to STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THE WATER, ’cause you flop around like a hack who’s watched too many heats and not surfed enough yourself? No, of course not; you’re entitled to keep surfing, and they to surf journalism. So relax, go home and choke your chicken while wishing you had a girl as hot as Brucie’s, cause your anti-establishment tantrums are getting tired (SURFLINE SUCKS! SURFLINE SUCKS! wait, everyone knew that already…), especially when you miss the mark like this one. STEP YOUR GAME UP HAOLE
peace and love brother, peace and love
@Lazer,
Alright we got a fighter!! Yeah fuck these assholes on this site. I’m with you brother. Let’s take ‘em!! You go first and I’ll be right behind you.
Oh wait, we’re still on PostSurf.com. Sorry, I thought we were on regurgitatedsheepbile.com.
Sorry braheim, you’re on your own here.
A lot of poorly concealed homo-eroticism on this site (cases in point: above post, entire topic). Guess you guys are still fantasizing about Fred and Bruce…little scary. (LEWIS, DON’T TELL ME YOU’RE ‘CONFUSED’ DAMMIT! AND TAKE THAT DRESS AND SHOES OFF!)
And above guy, cute name
…as my meatwhistle churns for the best barrel of all time @ deserts….
Lazer said:
“They rip harder than you.”
Indeed.
I understand that sentiment. However, what coherent people are seeing is something even MORE depressing than that statement inherently implies: the arrival of a new class in this petroleum-dependent society. I would argue that they’re a part of a transitory class - something like the American Industrial Middle Class of the 1950s and 60s, which arrived in 1946 and was vanquished in the early 1970s… reeling from the first oil shock and nascent globalism with the exportation of American industrial demands to the third world.
This new class, which may be named the “Reminiscent Generation”, is largely illiterate and is fascinated by flashy things of the moment; whether it’s IPOD’s, Indo photo-exploitation, or hot chicks with perky fake boobies. Due to the gutting of the American education system at the behest of “Taxpayers” (a group that replaced citizens, starting in 1978 with California’s Prop 13), expecting these new generations to have anything resembling culture or decorum is absurd. Their parents, at this point either aging hippies or nostalgic punks or new wave disco ducks; rejected the foundationalist approach to culture under the banner of postmodernism, pluralism, and feminism (at least the last two were semi-admirable goals, but postmodernism was doo-doo from the gitgo) and with it went any hope of expecting cultural basics to be taught - whether it be the simple joys of spelling and proper grammar, to the fineries how to use cutlery and chew with your mouth shut.
Are you dizzy yet?
No? With the art programs blown to bits and shipwrecked on the remnants of expressionism (abstract or otherwise) and its blinkered notions of Alla Prima paintings and then buried under the philosophical baggage of conceptualism; learning simple things like perspective and proportion never happened. Listen to, or watch Bruce talk and ask me if he even knows what those words even mean.
With music programs dismantled, but the remaining urge to create music celebrated, no one had to learn an instrument or how to read music; or even the basics of how to compose. Thus, blathering obscenities in octameter over a drum machine and turntable became the only viable option. Listen to Bruce’s IPOD, and tell me this is not what you hear.
Furthermore, creative writing took a beating whilst other intellectual pursuits in America de-intellectualised what little it had in terms of public intelligentsia - and in short order, a complete chowderhead was elected president eight years ago… a perfect reflection societies cultural retardation at that time.
Finally, one of these illiterate members of this uneducated class of surfing professionals pipes up to defend himself (Bruce Irons), and we all laugh at his imbecility.
End of this Never Ending Story.
P.S.
And to Bruce Irons: Go read a book, will ya? The rest of us are busy pondering this moment and building bunkers to fend off the inevitable Chinese invasion.
@lazer
One homo-erotically-charged question so I can get off quicker:
Is ‘little scary’ what Bruce calls his little white* pee pee?
Please tell me it’s true.
*You do know Bruce is white, lazer, remember that fun Kill Haole Day?
@Lazer,
May I caress your vulva once you’re finished with that glass of pinot grigio?
@Blasphemy Rottmouth,
My constant hard-on for your writing flagged noticeably when I saw how you spelt ‘IPOD’. Not even replaying the manly mustachioed Hawaiian investigative journalism of Freddy P could raise my pecker from the dead. How am I going to get to sleep tonight? NO BRUCE, TURN OVER AND COUNT YOUR FIRST PLACE ASP TROPHIES! ONE BABY IS ENOUGH!
I know your stance on postmodernism BR, but please tell me that your use of all caps for iPod was ironic.
If not, STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THE WATER.
peace and love brother, peace and love
@PeterPerfect,
Pumpkin, I chug sarcasm and squirt out eight steaming coils of irony every four hours.
Is it just me or is Bruce on some blow or ice? just sayin…
I hate how internet blog comments are so childish and moronic? Don’t you?
Oh, FUCK IT: Lazer has a vulva! Lazer has a vulva!
…as my meatwhistle stands at attention with the intensity of this thread…….
Heh heh heh…
For those of you unskilled in hyperbole, let me paraphrase what Blasphemy Rottmouth (i get it, the name’s ironic, well done) stated: I am really sad that pro surfers can’t speak well. This statement, cushioned rather uncomfortably between that poorly worded (and utterly marginalized; let me guess, you get your history from the howard zinn school of thought) romp through americana, serves as fodder upon which the trundling denizens of this site chew their collective cud. Well, get used to it. They didn’t go to school, you didn’t become a pro, and life proverbially rolls along. If you were expecting a discourse on anything other than clothes, hos, drugs, waves from professional surfers (or any other professional athlete for that matter) don’t bother, cause it ain’t happening. (And for those of you who subscribe to the “But Kelly’s really smart, he talks about conspiracies and politics and other smart stuff!” school of though, don’t bother replying to this.)
bruce is white, fred is filipino, lewis samuels is a haole
@trauzersnake, stop talking about your erect meatwhistle or people might think there is poorly concealed homo-eroticism on this site.
@peter perfect
It’s not exactly “poorly concealed” or “inconspicuous” or “less than something that looks like a tennis ball stuffed down there’ or a “side of beef”…..they used to call me tri-pod in high school.
@Lazer,
Thanks for the rice-cake chow. But, I was hoping for something more fulfilling.
Cheers.
@lazer, but Kelly’s really smart and…oh, I actually read your whole comment for a change. No matter.
However, you just proved my point. There are a lot of surfers out there who have finished school and want to read better surf journalism. The Power Rankings and stories such as the one on Sarge in Stab have shown that there is some hope that surf journalism will go beyond just sucking up to the stars.
@trauzersnake, high school? nice try, but tripod is one word.
When I used to disappear from our nightly orgy to drunkenly go nude bodysurfing, my friends used to find me by following the three tracks left in the sand.
No worries. I wasn’t expecting to change minds here anyhow, I’m just a surfer offering an different viewpoint
except in my case they needed a hyphen for EXTENSION.
Okay, I have to say it. Andrew Oliver looks like the anxiety ridden, homoerotic Lion from the Nambla version of the Wizard of Oz; titled “Off to Blow the Queen Wizard.”
By the way Lewis, if you’re reading these comments don’t get it twisted, I’m a fan of your work. You’re funny as fuck, but your constant scorn encompassing seemingly every facet of surf culture need not target two laudable, albeit overreaching, islanders whose website I happen to frequent. As Plato said (or was it Al Gore? No matter): Moderation in all things. Including moderation
Speaking of moderation, it’s time for a hot chick to be posted… no??
If not, I’ll do as Plato infamously said: “You can discover more about a person in an hour of anal-play than in a year of conversation.”
Get over here Lazer and pick up me soap!
ahh, BR, stop it with your homo-erectile talk, there are no gay surfers
Sorry bud, I got out of the water not too long ago and adhere strictly to my rules regarding PostSurf (zing!) coitus. What with all these erect peckers around, however, I’m sure you’ll find your satisfaction eventually. Remember, the safety word is ‘postmodernism’
Ahhh… no gay surfers. But, there WAS Michael ‘Munga’ Barry.
I’ll quit my tongue now.
@Lazer,
I have no safety word, I just keep on fucking until the body reaches the same temperature as your IQ.
@BR is that Celsius or Fahrenheit? Just for the record.
@BR. Re: Michael ‘Munga’ Barry.
As the young surfer said to Sarge, I’m not touching that!
@PeterPerfect,
Dewd, I’m tyoo drunk to type. But we need more thinkers here. So les le Lazer speak. Peiece out. Holmes. See yiu tomorw.
L8.
@BR,
It’s just about ‘cocktail hour’ in my part of the world. And by ‘cocktail hour’ I mean 11am.
Later.
I am digging another site to watch fresh new footage and it looks like the guys are keeping it really current right now and it’s fairly well done. World Pro Surfers gets pretty outdated and the Goodslife is sweet but short so thanks for filling me in on it Lewis. Living in FL any extra surf info gives me something to do while it’s flat and I’m sick of backing in the skiff and throwing lures at trout and reds which doesn’t get to boring actually. Fred and Oliver had that 4:00 in the morn 18th beer 3.5 gram to close together on the couch kinda look going on though which was a bit disturbing and Bruce looked like he had been doing blasts of that picture in the office with Riddle. Homie might need to get in the tanning bed if he isn’t surfing much to keep the look going at least.
The music with the videos on Fred’s site is not very good. Plain and simple it’s really wack. The old Afrikan Bambatta sounded stuff on the Winki free-surf is alright for nostalgia purposes but that Honolulu club shit was terrible, just a bit of constructive criticism but at least there making vid’s and I’m armchair quarterback critic chude.
Lazer,
You scorn sarcasm and hyperbole, but apparently not racism. Lewis is a haole, while Bruce is merely white. Lazer, you are a pretentious Hawaiian racist fuck. There, I managed that without sarcasm or hyperbole.
I wonder if Bruce has a friend who’s telling him to clean it up? He might just be surrounded by leaches. where’s all those big bruddahs to look out for Brucie? Oh yeah, there in CA on the Primo beer tour getting sloshed with the next James Dean…err, Brucie. talk about Fuckery!
Instead, Bruce has a brother who is trying to get him to join him on the path to nowhere. Bruce is, after all, largely able to handle his vices AND still has all that Volcom money to play with. While not bright, he’s at least in control in moments of necessity. Andy, on the other hand, is sinking into the abyss and not even hid lovely wife/caretaker/soon-to-be-ex can slow him down.
Fred sees the writing on the wall. He needs to diversify his act, that’s smart. He’ll hopefully get better fast. He’s got a cheerful enough vibe plus he rips. Doesn’t seem inclined to punch me… like a slightly sketchy dog you kinda want to pet, but you know eventually that fucker’s gonna bite.
I hope Tahiti gets some good swell for the contest. How will A.I. do?
Any comments?
depends if he’s sober or not.
and, for what it’s worth, I LOVE the Hobgoblins’ blog.
Does AI have a wildcard? What about Bruce?
Hey Blasphemy Rottmouth!
>rejected the foundationalist approach to culture under the banner of >postmodernism, pluralism, and feminism (at least the last two were >semi-admirable goals, but postmodernism was doo-doo from the gitgo) >and with it went any hope of expecting cultural basics to be taught
and with it went any hope of expecting cultural basics to be taught??????
what?
weak. only a complete fucking idiot would think that statement was someone how not implicated in the postmodern project.
looks like someone needs to brush up on his critical theory before playing with the big boys over here at postsurf.com.
@Yeah,
Your right. I’m an idiot.
But, I once peed in the same hamster’s butt that got your wheels spinning when you read my dissertation.
Mr. Rottmouth = Dan Duane?
AI is going to prove a point, make the adjustments to “our” team Mark…..
Thank you
Wow, just checked out Freddy…… and read the posts. The comments are either heavily edited or…..
This blog is evil.
Hi Ballz! Thanks for your assessment! You’re completely entitled to your opinion, as I myself am, so while the two differ on certain vital points, the fact that I’m deigning to respond to your post speaks less to its validity and more to the fact that I enjoy the opportunity to help expand your vocabulary.
Blasphemy Rottmouth:
>But, I once peed in the same hamster’s butt that got your wheels >spinning when you read my dissertation.
hey fun boy, read a book.
Heavily edited it is… my ass kissing post got through, but not my “have makua drag his man tits across the globe and do something on the QS if he wants to surf the CT comp at pipe” didn’t make the grade.
This pseudo-intellectual 3 man circle jerk is starting to reek of acerbity. FreddyP is having his best year ever on tour and at the same time trying to give you LS sycophants the opinions and inside view of the life of a top pro, not some washed up never was.
Freddy and Andrew are always positive and stoked on life.
Remember what stoke feels like?
Stoke is a good thing. Fred’s in killer form and he is due. No Tavarua is killing the top goofies but there probably tripping they are where they are after double ozzie anti right foot forward unless your Occy stops. Fred’s surfing was lightning fast at Restaurants last year. Mark, did you see any of the early heat draws at the Nike 6.0? Quite a few looked like killer finals of any 6* prime. Machado was shredding the lefts with flow unseen by myself on the C.T. in a long time. The Scotland contest is cool as shit also. O’neill stepped it up with the Coldwater Classic series big time. Other companies need to take note.
Did you soil your panties Ryan? Need a bandaid for your boo boo? Insights into vapidity with Chris Cote. Trying to focus on Bruce’s dialated pupils and erractic speech. Stoked on inside views of high school dropouts opinions. Teen Beat surfing.
Maybe Fred should stick to footage of him killing it, that’s his conduit to relevance. One thing Cote said, straight up and dead on, was maybe Fred should escape his comfort zone…. his bro’s. Best comment of that video. Credit, props and funny stuff, Chris.
And without Volcom, Bruce is the raving crackhead wandering the streets. A “never was” who failed the industries potential barometer and cashes in on Ryan’s hunger for a idol. And Volcom’s ownership group loves you spending extra money to advertise their product!
Why is anyone surprised that a couple of surfers cannot construct a few sentences in proper English? I mean, look at what passes for journalism in the mainstream surf media. Illiterates like Scott Bass are editors, so the bar is set a few millimeters off the ground for all others who dabble in it.
Brucey is the best backside tube rider on the planet. Certainly not a crackhead or a never was.
And did you mean “the industry’s potential barometer?” I’m not exactly sure what you are trying to say.
Oh and FreddyP just won the Lowers 6* Prime. Congrats Freddy!
Hum…
Mr Rottmouth and Mr Samuels share the hobby of drinking.
That is just a coincidence, i suppose.
its funny to me that u think your website is actually a hit. u have the same dumbass followers on every article u write.. there are like 15 of u fucking assholes. all u fags do is wirte back and forth to eachother all day long about the dumbest topics ever, when u probably are all actually freinds and could just text eachother.. i usually dont like to hate on people, but u guys are basically all useless humans..
Sorry Ryan, ice head, my bad. Brucie came on with more hype than Jordy, pouted his losses and never learned. Once you get into high school, you’ll get it. His brother had grit and determination to add to his talent. BI is lazy and entitled. It’s what they call Hana-laid.
Timpone, stop butchering the English language. Keep hating, it’ll give your brain some exercise.
Freddy can surf, doesn’t make him a journo.
I like Freddy’s site…Interviews with legendary shapers, WCT judges, and guys like Kekoa, Mick, Jordy..talkin shit and questions you don’t here elsewhere..
Not anyone can do it. People are interested in guys like Freddy that charge Pipe and Chopes…and are super humble. Video is what people are interested in..Freddy’s site provides. Lewis, writing is great but people want the audio and visual aspect too. I think Freddy is on to something. I be getting sick f all the negative bashing be going on here at postsurf all da time. Lewis don’t surf Chopes, that’s for damn sure.
@ Timpone
I would contact your meth dealer ASAP. You’re getting ripped off… and that shit’s not right.
Sincerely,
A Caring Taxpayer.
@Braden
Lewis may not surf Chopes, but he is educated. Pop Quiz: Which scares you more?
That’s what I thought.
Now get me the extra Sweet n’ Sour packets I asked for while you nurture your Neanderthalic logic.
B.R. your kinda slipping bro. Thats what happens when you care to much. Just let it go like Slater and you will take the Post surf world title back no prob.
If Lewis can surf Gland, he can surf Chope. If the swell is south, it’s a technical barrel, but manageable. Those swing wides (west) are another ballgame altogether, I’ve never paddled so hard. Surfacing from each duck diving was the definition of “fear”.
To think 20 years later, surf magazine exec’s are flopping around in inner tubes drunk, high fiving in the channel filled with flotsam and jetsum, chicks and french tourists……
It was a different world paddling out alone, blind to what was in store. I had no idea.
Well Freddy and his ’stache took the 6 star at Trestles….so maybe he’s doing somehting right. His skills look good this year.
When you sit down to read or watch an interview you can pretty much guess what the questions are gonna be beforehand. The surf companys market an image. The way the person being interviewed responds mentally and physically, often times reflects that. Volcom seems to be by far the most image concience of all surf companys and maybe that is why they are so succesfull. I can only imagine what its like to answer the same damn questions over and over again while trying to support a marketable image. Im sure if there were no cameras and BI and Freddy had covered the same topics as freinds their demeanor and answers would be allot different. Of course im only guessing cuz I dont know them personally. I actually dont really care about any pro surfers private life, I got my own and i concentrate on that. That being said I became a fan of this site after the whole tavarua, power rankings thing I was really excited to read more good articles, unfortunatly it seems the waves were LS lives must be really good right now cuz there hasnt been much going in here since.
Timpone was a little off on his stats. There aren’t 15 assholes and fags who comment on here all the time. There are only about 5 who each have 3 different identities INCLUDING Lewis.
P.S. I doubt any of the commentators are friends except Lewis and Blasphlem because they are the same person. And MAYBE me and Mike after our Indo trip.
well i hope that u and mike have an awesome time on your gay boat trip! i bet instead of surfing perfect waves you will be on this fucking website commenting back and forth to all 5 of your other fag online freinds… oh and yes the meth i just got was pretty shitty thanks for some how noticing through the world wide web that it was the bad stuff…
You made some good quality points there. I did a look foron the subject and found most people will will agree with your blog.
I really like your writing style, and I’m hoping for more blog posts like this one.