http://postsurf.com Unfiltered Thoughts on Surf Culture Fri, 04 Sep 2009 20:24:27 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en One thing PostSurf has taught me: any retard can start an awesome surf website. One of the latest is InSurfNews, started by Fred Patacchia and his partner Andrew Oliver. They just put up this unintentionally hilarious press release on Surfline about a Bruce Irons interview. [caption id="attachment_975" align="alignnone" width="520" caption="Fred intwerviews Bruce. Photo: ... http://postsurf.com/2009/04/30/anyone-can-do-it/ When I was a grom, Gotcha ran their "IF YOU DON'T SURF, DON'T START" ad campaign.  Lost recently re-ran the same exact campaign, but 20 years on, it comes across as ironic nostalgia for an era when everyone and their fat sister didn't surf already. Consider, for instance, this quote from ... http://postsurf.com/2009/04/29/if-you-dont-surf-start-no-wait-i-mean/ It's been a tough day here at PostSurf headquarters.  Like every calm, rational, American, I'm panicked about Swine Flu. Two cases were just diagnosed only miles from where I live.  Our prime minister, that guy from Predator, just declared a state of emergency, and he usually doesn't scare so easy. This whole ... http://postsurf.com/2009/04/28/swine-flu-panic/ Recently someone asked me if Laird Hamilton’s big wave exploits were the result of meth-fueled courage. “How the fuck should I know?” I replied. “But I think no. Laird doesn’t need meth – he’s high enough on himself.” Hamilton and his wife make up an Aryan uber-couple that TMZ calls them ... http://postsurf.com/2009/04/27/omg-laird-is-so-hot/ What's most interesting to me at this point about Surfline's "new and improved Power Rankings" (as described objectively by Surfline's editor) is that they feature yet another attempt by Surfline to stifle dissent from their audience. Like all Surfline features, the comments section for the new rankings is moderated. Unsurprisingly, I received ... http://postsurf.com/2009/04/26/comment-of-the-week-7/ Joel Parkinson Bells Result: 1 Previous Result: 1 ASP Rating: 1 Well that was relatively easy.  After breezing to two seemingly preordained victories, Parko’s all but secured the World Title.  He’s like an NBA player on the free-throw line now, who only needs to make 1 of 2 to seal the deal ... http://postsurf.com/2009/04/24/bells-power-rankings-1-5/ Taj Burrow Bells Result: 17 Previous Result: 3 ASP Rating: 7 Poor Taj.  Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.  In recent years, Taj has revealed his deep desire to emulate Cocoa Beach’s most famous son.  Unfortunately for Taj, his personal trainer thinks Carrot Top, not Kelly Slater, is Cocoa Beach’s most famous ... http://postsurf.com/2009/04/22/bells-power-rankings-6-10/ Kekoa Bacalso Bells Result: 5 Previous Result: 17 ASP Rating: =9 On a more serious note: it’s a well-know fact that surf journalists cannot write about Hawaiians with anything approaching candor.  My former employer was happy to let me throw Brazilians or Euros under the bus.  But when it came to Hawaiians, ... http://postsurf.com/2009/04/21/bells-power-rankings-11-15/ Drew Courtney Bells Result: 9 Previous Result: 17 ASP Rating: =14 One of the most common mistakes novice drunk drivers make is going too slow.  If you’re driving 15 MPH and swerving like a sidewinder, everyone knows you’re plastered.  But if you’re fanging it in 5th gear, people are going to notice ... http://postsurf.com/2009/04/20/bells-power-rankings-16-21/ Kelly Slater Bells Result: 17 Previous Result: 17 ASP Rating: =24 Lately, I feel old.  Hedonistic, selfish pursuits don’t consistently bring me the same joy that they used to.  When I get wasted, I have fun, but I’m haunted by the fact that in my 20s I got more wasted, and had ... http://postsurf.com/2009/04/19/bells-power-rankings-22-27/