Monthly Archives: April 2009

Don’t Fuck with Wizards

You know what Kelly Slater's problem is?
He fucked around with some wizard mojo without really understanding what he was messing with.
Now he's fucked.  Two contests, and two 17ths at the hands of wildcards.  His Wizard cutback isn't scoring anymore.  The Wizard's Sleeve 5'3" didn't work.  And now Kelly looks like Michael Jordan when he attempted [...]

Ross Clarke-Jones: The Wrestler

Kelly Slater once told me that “there are very few pro surfers who have retired well.”
I thought of this while checking out the Billabong XXL wipeout of the year candidates.  For over-the-hill pros who aren’t ready to walk away from the game there’s still one last resort – let go of a tow rope on [...]

Comment of the Week

Dear Readers:
I just want to formally apologize for not living up to my non-existent promise to provide you with a thought-provoking, meaningful, zany, hilarious post every single fucking day.
Some of you may be experiencing a paranoid suspicion that I'm putting less than 100% into PostSurf lately.  But why???? Some speculate that it's because I'm on [...]

3 Shot Saturday: Lefts

I'd like to start featuring photos instead of words on Saturdays.  The concept is simple: you, the reader, submit 3 shots on one topic.
For now I'll get the ball rolling with Lefts.  Please send photos you'd like me to post in coming weeks.

Hieronymus Bosch Reader Challenge

All right kids - it's time for another reader challenge!
The following painting, The Garden of Earthly Delights, by Heironymous Bosch, contains uncannily accurate depictions of a number of surf industry figures and brands - despite the fact that Bosch painted it in 1504.  Amazing, really.
From Wiki (where I do all my fact-checking):
"The left panel depicts [...]

Hannah “Zoolander” Mermaid

Ah, to be a pro soul surfer.  Normal land-based mammals can only dream of the intimate connection with nature that corporate-sponsored soul surfers enjoy.  Case in point: Dave Rastovich.
This guy is so at one with the sea that he married a mermaid.  And not just any mermaid - he married Hannah Fraser, who is a [...]

The Art of Elimination

I've been pondering subtraction.  It's an appropriate subject for foreign shores - as Americans, we're raised to focus on what we can add to our life, instead of what we can take away.  We're a culture that's been adding objects and responsibilities and new lines of communication for years.  Now that the crises (as everyone [...]

Ironic Justice

The Surfline forecast for today called for 1-2' and onshore winds on the particular foreign shore I am now haunting.
If there is a god, perhaps she believes in ironic justice.
The swell built to double-overhead plus by sunset, and the crowd was light... as most punters had checked the forecast, and therefore believed it was going [...]

The New Localism

If you don't live here, don't surf here.  It's simple enough, really.  It worked in the 70s and it will work again now.  Here's why: the environment.

If you want to help save the earth, stop driving for surf.  Surf in front of your house.  Don't paddle out anywhere that you can't walk or ride your [...]