What does it mean to be a professional surfer in 2009? Unless you're in the Top 16, being a success comes down to media coverage. Way back in the 20th Century, media coverage meant surf magazines and films.
Of course, the internet has changed all that... although it's taking the surf industry a while to figure out how to leverage Web 2.0.
Some learn faster than others: Jaime O'Brien has been making his own films for years, and now he's embracing social and viral marketing, as evidenced by his obsessive, .
It's interesting to note the gap between how Jaime is now representing himself on Twitter and how the magazines have portrayed him. It appears that he's much weirder and funnier than we were led to believe.
In fact, after scanning , I think he'd fit right in commenting on PostSurf. Judging by the clip below, it sounds like Jaime is definitely following PostSurf, and that he understands surf media is inevitably changing.
But I can't tell if JOB's a fan of PostSurf, or simply another sensitive pro waiting for their chance to crack me. In fact, I can't tell shit from this clip. Can someone please translate for me? Did David Lynch direct this? I kept expecting the midget from Twin Peaks to come out and start speaking backwards.
Here are some of Jaime's recent tweets. Better or worse than a "Jaime O on the Hotseat!" feature?
JOB on his Bali Trip:
Back on Bali. Speeding my scooter through traff. Looking for a very particular noodle shop that serves breast milk.
Gettin out of dat club. The only bad thing about Bali is Europeans. The only bad thing about Europe is Europeans and no waves and shit food.
...and end at a tantric sex show feat. monkeys. I heard about it from my cabbie last night. He said they play "Fields of Gold" throughout.
Will you stay with me, will you be my love among the fields of barley... I fucken hate hate HATE STING. I bet he SUPs in lakes.
...Outside rented villa watching a monkey masturbate a sleeping German. Germ prob thinks it's a little boy.
JOB on Class:
Yes, there are classes in the world and yes, I now belong to the upper.
Fucken identity theft is a crime against the rich.
At least I have people to sort this shit out for me. I guess identity theft is a crime against those who work for the rich.
JOB on JOB:
Is "too arrogant" such a thing?
Editing vid of last few days magic sessions. I love looking at myself in the barrel. I love how massive my dick is. Cocky? Maybe. True? Yes.
If you rule, like me, you don't separate "arrogant" and "confident." You just go about ruling.
taking my stitches out. over them. I am beautiful in every single way.
Backside barrel riding is an art that few attempt, fewer master and none do better than me.
HOT/NOT with JOB:
The ASP should start a midget world dream tour for surfers under 5'6. one stop could be my bathtub. I'd splash some barrels for them.
Did John Lennon deserve to get shot? definitely. Die? probably.
Greg Noll is a hero.
Why did shit Mormons ever come to Hawaii? Aside from having multi wives, their deal is hammered. I can't think of a less cool religion.
People who insist on eating organic are as bad as people who get small, hip tattoos. Like anchors or stars.
Transvestites should dress in formal evening wear always. Like fucken gowns. Even at Foodland.
Thanks to Jason Reposar for the photos.
Yeah BRAH!
That was interesting…. what is twitter again?
Twitter is mostly one big circle jerk. Bloggers trying to get other bloggers to come to their blog and then blog about it. Extra Bonus Points if you blog about twitter and then twitter about blogging.
Jamie O’Brien is the only good thing on twitter right now, and it’s nice to see him redefining how it’s done.
Somehow he also manages to formulate thoughts and spell better than all other pro surfers using it.
@surfingstoke
Gotta give this fucker props. Even seems cool, and relatively intelligent.
JOB…
wow…
at least there is some truth in job’s twittering
-he can ride the barrel… oh that’s about it!
now for the rest,
his posts truly reflect an uneducated,clueless idiot with no culture whatsoever.
what does he know about anything apart from looking out his own arse?
anyone in the surfing world what an absolute jerk the guy is,and does anyone want to know why “JOB” hates europe?
his “cockyness” (as he states it,or “confidence”) ended up netting a few punches in the face and a broken board on the beach in front of the local crowd in france one year…hilarious!
unfornutaley for surfing,jamie is a great tuberider.
fortunately for him,there are a lot of idiots like him on the great american continent and all over the world that can identify with his lack of culture and intelligence…which means sponsors can actually get something out of him…
luckily for you jamie you can ride the barrel “better than anyone on your backhand”,otherwise no idea what you’d be doing in this life…
Stop hating you self-proclaimed anti-Semitic fuck.
If you rule, like me, you don’t separate “arrogant” and “confident.” You just go about ruling. hahahaha priceless!
There’s only one thing more annoying than Sting! The Police! “I’ll send an S.O.S. to the World. I’ll send an S.O.S. to the world…. message in the bottle… message in the bottle aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Love it. The crack on Dane’s gay tatoo is priceless.
Not only is JOB funny, but he’s quick to shit on the lower-class pro-hos that follow his every move, which makes him even funnier. Mark must be totally bummed - not only is there no God, but JOB doesn’t care about him either!
Unrelated, what is “upper class” in Hawaii, anyway? Not hooked on ice and able to pay for your souped up F-150 with cash? No kids with your second cousins until you’re in your 20’s?
What’s with all the Hawaii bashing? I won’t deny that a number of the “ambassadors” of the sport that call Hawaii home are diluting the gene pool (Bruce is mentally retarded and JamieO has a cock stuck far in his ear that nothing but jiz comes out of his mouth) does not mean that the rest us fall into the same category. It is questionable if the Aloha is gone but that doesn’t stop the rest of us from trying.
That was some wild semi wierd shit man. JOB is kinda like a gnarly new age 2015 Chesser though. A futuristic Chesser ~ Davey Miller hybrid money making photo addictive cyber freak ripper. Slater embarrassed him at Pipe last year though. That double barrel ride of those two wasn’t very free rideish at all.
I have never met Jamie but I have met his dad and he seems to be pretty cool. I was really good friends with a Hawaiian guy named Bobby who passed away a while back. He was close to Jamie and really close to his dad and he had good things to say about Jamie so that is my only connection.
What blows my mind is the shit that Stu keeps talking about the people of Hawaii. Once again Stu runs his mouth about the Hawaiians as he relaxes in the anonymity of internet-land. You are a COWARD Stu! I have not said one single thing on this site that I wouldn’t say to someone’s face. You, on the other hand, are constantly talking shit about Hawaiians from the safety of wherever you live behind your little computer screen.
Ban Stu from Post Surf Lewis!!! Ban Stu Ban Stu Ban Stu Ban Stu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stu sucks!!!!!!
Stu, upper class on the rock means daddy owns a sweet pad at Pipe. He’d better know how to pig dog.
I agree with the Dane sleight, but I hear another nuance. Did you know any buddies that became sullen as all their friends began to graduate college? Friends with options. JOB sounds like he knows that his “stay at home” Island style lifestyle may have created a short shelf life. Failing at making the CT, he shoots one off the bow at Dane. JOB is coming to grips with the ceiling he created for himself and desperate “alternative” marketing must be going poorly for him to know enough about Blasph and Peter Perfect to comment. Lewis is the type who gets under his skin because intelligence scares the shit out of these guys.
As for his big cock and watching himself tube ride backside, his inferences reek of insecurity, hence the macho projection. A once bright star shuns the stage and the stage will forget him. Today, Dane and Jordy get too much attention, soon Clay and Julian. You know, the whores that bought into the program and the fading star will grow more and more bitter as his potential circles the drain.
The guy surfs rad and is pretty funny, but the act is tired and a flame out is in the forecast. Lucky Daddy has the crib that gives his son one month of attention each year, December.
Mark, you mentioned something yesterday about “not wanting to feel like a permanent guest”. That’s not necessarily against Hawaiins, but the sentiment is revealing. I assume that you’re a good guy and yet acclimating in rough circumstances is a constant battle. I used the term open air prison to suggest insufferable posturing to assume societal position, the endless battle of the haole. That’s an observation made from some 50 odd trips…. trips because I could never see living there with so much misplaced hostility. I think Stu is conveying the same aesthetic. And the hostility rarely comes from the indigenous hawaiians…..
JOB is getting passed by legitimate, hungry talent and he knows it.
Soon you will all feel the wrath of my huge wang as it encircles your whiny little necks and chokes the pathetic untalented life out of you all.
Dane is an in-bred French hillbilly, Jordy is the South African missing link, and Clay and Julian meet every week to kneel down and worship my beautiful boner.
Bitches
@ Mike. Snap. Quite the diatribe on someone you’ve never met. But word.
@ Stu. Mark’s gotta point. You’re kind of a little pussy.
Sunny said it best when, to paraphrase, he told the rock locals to get off the island and make the CT - otherwise shut up. For those of you who think JOB is smart - that is trully frightening.
JOB is definitely getting passed by - by a more legitimate, complete talent.
He’s a sick tube rider, does some nice airs and tail wafts, but he rarely links it together with the rhythm and flow that is defining the best surfing from his own generation and the one nipping at their heals.
There are some brief hints of insight in his Twitters, but for me the lasting impression is of ignorance and inflated ego. But that is a lot of what twitches through everyone’s brains. The difference is that he has chosen to utilize a new technology that allows you to broadcast those kinds of fleeting thoughts.
Feed him some beers watch him crap his pants. Literally. Messy pants full of shit at a party. You need a big cock after that.
Decent observation and analysis Mike but what Stu said was just plain mean. Take that remark and combine it with his heartless comment about Slaters dad and you leave Lewis no other choice. Complete and total banishment.
GODDAMIT TIME MACHINE THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT!
I would have to say JOB has some intelligence. He’s smart enough to realize all he has to do is slightly drop Lewis Samual’s name and then Lewis, being the good pawn he is, will write a post about him, giving him more publicity, slightly increasing his shelf life.
ATTENTION ALL PRO SURFERS, create a website, say you dont like Samual and watch the traffic come in.
The reason Jaime O’Brien thinks his cock is so big, is because it hangs past his knees…. which are tucked into the sockets of his pelvic bone. It’s a rare condition, but it allows him to squat freakishly low whilst he pigdogs the hell out of hollow lefts.
Couple that with his menstruating chin gash, and you got yourself a future county-jail all-star. His lower lip has literally become a second taint. I don’t believe I can recall ever seing anyone, let alone a professional surfer, who could be fucked in the mouth and chin. He can provide hours of endless entertainment for his cell mates who want to double, or triple team his three gaping inputs.
Rip on Jamie O? Balderdash! The man’s a gaddamn walking semen receptacle. And for that, we must pay him the utmost respect. Braheim.
I was once escorted to my car by several nice men after a surf at Backdoor. I was told in the water that I was “too busy”, caught too many waves and was disrespectful to a diminutive pro of the ’70’s. That’s when I got real busy.
As my face was being impaled against my engine hood and love taps rained on my back and head, I could see my friend walking toward me on Kui Nui from pipe. He stopped when he saw me being welcomed to the island by four hospitality professionals.
On the way to the emergicenter in Haliewa, I asked him why he didn’t intervene?
“I gotta live here bro and you should’ve paddled down to OTW once they approached you”
Every thing you write has that sensibility to it, Mark.
Come on, Marky, you’re not upset that I asked about upper class Hawaiians…you’re upset because neither JOB, nor the other pros you love, love you back. Or, maybe it just hit you that you’re not an upper-class Hawaiian. Not sure, but either way it makes me sad that you get so upset on the internet. To make it up, I’ll pray that Carrie Prejean, our favorite God-loving, fag-hating beauty queen, appears in your dreams tonight!
Mike I admit one has to have a touch of self-preservation instinct to survive long term over here. Either that or be the baddest mofo ever which I am definately not.
At least give me some credit for using my real name. If someone wants to track me down and kick my ass they could easily do so. Of course I have said nothing to inspire someone to do so unlike little Stu who loves to talk shit all the while knowing that he is safe from harm back in whatever little cubicle he comments from.
P.S. Mike you are dangerously close to losing your spot on my Mentawai trip.
Aside from the homo/zeno/agora (beyond HI) phobia, “I hate Sting, he probably SUPs lakes” is one of the best things I’ve ever read after “Never mind the brimstone . . . “
I just put JOB’s Twitterings on par with Melville. . .
Did someone say man crush?
Why am I getting axed, PostMark?
The kinder, gentler Mike isn’t appreciated? Remember when you quit the 12th time and I apologized on this blog? Remember how I rescinded the inflammatory observation about Alabama? I do.
I offer you a job in a clean environment with a small nice town vibe and you intimidate me with offers that continually are pulled of the table?
I haven’t even mentioned religion or geopolitics today?
All I can do is support you in your drive to be the best, and look what happens…….
I wish JOB would get on tour if for no other reason than to watch a GT/JOB interview. We would be certain to have what would be, to my knowledge, the first utterance of “you fucking douche bag” transmitted on the webcast.
I like Jamie O. A lot.
The backhanded jab at Over Rated Dane Reynolds and his li’l anchor tat is pretty funny too.
Reading this made me realize one thing today: real surfers actually read and comment on this site. Not bad for a San Francisco working stiff! Maybe Quicksilver and Billabong can open shops in the Castro.
I don’t know how overrated Dane Reynolds is. He’s practically off tour thanks to the fabulous new format.
I got a fever. And the only prescription is more Jamie O.
Alright Mike you are back in but please take it easy on me bro. I am walking on eggshells over here right now.
My wife was in line at Foodland and some Brazo dude pointed at her and she is pretty sure he said “postwife” or something like that. Then this morning as I dropped my daughter off at school this 9 year old local kid on his bike made a throat slashing gesture at me followed up with a gesture like he was writing a comment on his school pad. In other words keep commenting and you are toast Post Mark!
What should I do? How do I explain to my daughter that we have to move the day after school ends and she has to start all over and make new friends?
I guess the only logical thing for me to do is to quit commenting on Post Surf. I realize that I have promised to quit before but this time I am doing it for the safety of my family.
Aloha means goodbye Lewis. See you in the bleachers at Lowers in September.
Or should I say, Jamie OOOoooooohhhhhh!
JOB is an egotistical asshole. I feel sorry for his so called ‘friends’ that he employes to follow him around. He treats them like lepers. Sure he surfs good, but you don’t need to go around telling everyone about it. What a dick! Jamie take the blinkers off, eat some humble pie, and stop ’stinking’ out wherever you go. Fucking stinky little sheman!
i have never read a surfer write funny shit like this. never. and it is as funny as shit.
Sneezed on a midget last night… he had hair on his back.. wait that wasn’t snot..oh crap! twant no midget either
Too bad there’s not a postsurf witness protection program. Or is there? Sorry to hear about that Mark. I don’t blame you for bailing in light of that shit. We’ll look for your spirit in the comments of future pseudonyms.
And to you genius thugs, Mark has done nothing but praise and stick up for Hawaii and its surfers. Don’t blame him for things he didn’t write.
Did anyone see his JOB’s 411 surf thing? What a douche. He seems like he goes through phases. I remember when he was first getting on the scene and was acting like a spoiled bitch. Then he was trying to act humble. Now he’s back to being a bitch.
Once you go a man with a hole in his chin, you never go back!
I’m In!
How does anyone know about your posting? Paranoia is poison and you’ve never written anything inflammatory except clowning me and Stu….. and we don’t care.
Maybe you shouldn’t have attended daddy/daughter day at school and bragged about comment of the weak.
Dane is guilty of nothing except bad tattoo choices. If you knew where he came from, even that wouldn’t surprise you Ballz. But the fucking media hypes him non stop….. “the most talented surfer in the world”. How many times did that phrase exit Parson’s mouth, or Dino’s during his disaster round one heat? How about beating Slater, at least once?
Ascendency is a commercial entitlement, not the participants responsibility and JOB watches from a very distant sideline. Self promotion won’t bridge the divide alone, regardless the medium. At least Bruce secured an icon status with his corp before he went troppo on ice….. the safety net JOB only flirted with.
His postings should become more bitter as summer at pipe drags on. He is funny though, like an austrailian without beer and down on his luck.
I am NOT Lewis.
I am NOT Lewis.
I am NOT Lewis.
I am NOT Lewis.
I am NOT Lewis.
I am NOT Lewis.
I am NOT Lewis.
I am the Perfect Peter.
For purposes of clarity, does fucking a man’s chin make one a homosexual? Does the answer change if one administers a simultaneous reacharound to the chin fuckee? A friend of mine wants to know.
If Peter was Perfect, he’d be Blasphemy Rottonmouth….. Lewis.
Sorry to hear about the heat you are catching Mark. I for one cannot recall you ever talking shit about Hawaiians. If something bad happens then you can blame MuckFark for that one comment last week that I am afraid to repeat even though I am currently sitting in Central Florida.
BTW Mark you are welcome here in New Smyrna. The waves are pretty fun and the people are cool. I wouldn’t be waving that Crimson Tide flag too much if I were you but at least you will be within driving distance of your mom, cousin and uncle. And I can get you a job!
So this Survivor Tahiti thing, can we get GT kicked off the fucking island? I don’t want to have to see his face to know whether the contest is on or not. The contest starts very early in the morning where I am at the moment and I don’t want to have to set the alarm to see a flaming queer barman from a gay hangout torturing poor, uncomfortable Luke Egan. Not that there is anything wrong with flaming queer barmen, I just don’t want to wake up with one. My morning pup tent is quickly deflated seeing his fucking face. Note: When a guy appears to spend more time on his hair than most women I know, we have a problem.
Dear Billabong, we know you scan this blog, GT should not be the face of a contest unless it involves feather boas and the soundtrack of Pricilla Queen of the Desert.
These guys are out charging at chopes, they shouldn’t have to come in and be subject to an ‘interview’ with Ryan Seacrest.
PeterPerfect, totally metrosexual-ed out.
Tell me more of this GT, his feather boas and Priscilla Queen of the Desert.
@Mike
Where is the kinder, gentler, gayer Mike?
DANE OWNS JOB, DANE OWNS JOB…… 8====D >
GT IS A LAGUNA FAGGOT, SAY SIMILAR TO HALF OF THE GOD DAMN SURF INDUSTRY. SERIOUSLY GO FUCK YOURSELVES
Who the fuck is G.T? What are his credentials? Where did he come from? What a barn.
Gooch, you want WHO to fuck themselves?!? Wait just a minute… (rustling noise) Rubbing alcohol, check, a sharp pen knife, check. Can someone please recommend a good yoga class?
Greg Tomlinson. I think he started von schilliper and then sold it to billabong or some other big player for a few bucks. Supposedly he’s pretty cool guy and straight. Alot of the so cal caricatures, personalities, high voice exclamations..etc. are a little over the top even for us non homophobic san franciscans and other northern CA’ers.
Twitter is so lame. I can’t believe that people actually think that other people actually give a fuck about their banal updates. I predict Twitter will twatter very soon.
@ Bangalore
Some of my best friends are gay. Just ask Blasphemy Rottmouth. Besides you’re taking this too literally, GT just sucks up to the surfers (oh, besides Jihad), way too much and is smooth like a vacuous LA DJ.
GT talks like a sales and marketing douche trying to get you to put a sunglasses stand in your shop.
I’m sure he’s the life of the party at the corporate games, three-legged races and trust exercises, but there are plenty of people who don’t think he’s a pretty cool guy, because he’s trying waaaayyyy too hard. And I’m not just getting that from the body language of the surfers after their heat, or Luke Egan being uncomfortable.
GT is Peter Perfect before the sex change. When Chin FUcker inquired about GT’s dating status, Perfects name came up and CF exclaimed “I love threesomes”.
@Hee Haw
Especially when guys like Jamie (are contractually obliged to?) mention their sponsors in their tweets:
Sucking down a warm RedBull. Gonna mix it with warm beer for today’s happy hour cocktail. The Ugly Frat Boy.
Good morning North Shore. I’m up. I’m out on my deck. The morning sun is reflecting off my black Arnette’s.
Greg Noll just reeled in a 20 lb Ono. Mick is toasting him with a vodka gatorade. My Rusty boardshorts are half covered in shark blood.
***
His tweets are funny though. And I’m not Lewis.
@Mike. Have you noticed that no one really cares who you are and that people want you banned?
Just asking. Go hug it our with Mark and leave the jokes to the grown-ups.
I’m outta here. I’m off to slap one of the servants wearing a Mike mask.
And by ‘Mike mask’ I mean a photo of Alex Knost.
re: G.T
the scoop if anyone cares.
JOB mentions Peter Perfect by name and now P.P. is talking shit like he is the man. F u Peter!
@SmyrnaJeff, Ok I’ll be semi-serious for a moment.
1. I always talk like this.
2. I am an anonymous poster on an unemployed Jewish surf surf writer’s blog. Get a grip.
3. I’m not sure whether to be flattered or sad that JOB thinks I might be Lewis. See point 2.
4. You’re acting jealous of an anonymous poster on an unemployed Jewish surf surf writer’s blog. Think about it. See point 2 again.
Gotta run SmyrnaJeff. Debate this with yourself. If you know what I mean.
Sorry to interrupt your review of point #2 Smyrna, but PP should be flattered that JOB mentioned him. Ok, go back to point 2 Jeff and read it thoroughly.
And where do you slap a servant wearing a Mike Mask if Mike looks like AK? Nevermind. At least you’re a top, Peter.
I’ll be damned. Apparently VonZipper and not Alex Knoost “bridged [the] gap between surfers and fashionistas.” GT, founder of VZ, did so by “taking risks on sunglass trends such as extra wide frames and aviator lenses.”
What this article tells me is that this thing goes way deeper than we previously thought. GT, Parsons and Paul Naude are among the conspirators.
VZ achieved success after GT passed on his cutting-edge sun glasses to “friends in the surfwear industry including Paul Naude, who worked with Tomlinson at Gotcha before heading up Billabong’s U.S. headquarters as president.” That’s right. The same Paul Naude made the subject of one unfortunate Fiji piece authored by our very own Lewis Samuels.
But please, don’t blame the sponsors! They need your support during these hard times. “We’re determined to keep our brand out there,” GT, said. “Eyewear isn’t immune to the economy.” Apparently one way to keep your brand out there is posturing your marketing prowess into a gig as webcast interviewer. That way your hipster glasses can be admired as you deliver inane and douche-bagged questions to the best surfers in the world.
Damn you Economy! Is no one immune from your wrath? The wrath of economy! I beseech thee!
I must break you.
Surfing needs a villain. Everyone is drowning in the putrid dross that overpaid, overhyped surfers vomit every day about God, country and livin’ the eponymous dream. Let Jamie O talk that smack. As long as he keeps backing up his boasts every single time he drops in at Pipe,it gives us someone to love and hate in equal measure. If Pipe is the Colisuem and Mr. O’Brien the ultimate gladiator, there is a certain foul mouthed poetry to his apparent desire to live and die by the sword. As long as he keeps performing, I’ll hang on his every word and revel in the brazenness of his arrogance. But the second he missteps I’ll throw my thumb down without an ounce of pity and cheer his demise. That is sport at its very best and I think, on some level, Mr. O’brien appreciates that.
Hey Limp Peter,
Mark wanted to ban Stu. You said he wanted to ban Mike. Do your homework you fucking idiot.
Lewis, Jamie and I could join together to form the wonder villains. Or just a threesome. Either way.
Gotta go fellas! Jay Leno’s on.
What people have:
Jamie O’Brien: Pipe Masters trophy.
Kelly Slater: 9 World Titles
Mark: Comment of the Week.
Peter Perfect: A limp noodle and no game.
I am a greater villain than Jamie, Lewis, CF or any of you other fuckers.
Jamie-O is O so elegant. Are you kidding JOB?
What is next ?
Meth kills!
The haters are all washed up old men. JOB rips harder than any of you shit talkers regardless of his shelf life as a marketing tool for Rusty and Arnette. That’s taking more to the grave than most of you derelicts.
haha, it’s funny that you mentioned homework and Mark in the same sentence, Smyrna. It he had done his once upon a time he might have been more of a success in life.
As for JOB, he does rule. He’ll also cease ruling in a few more years, then go through a phase where he still lives off past glory, then though a phase where nobody wants to pay him, then through a phase where he is depressed and wants to put a gun in his mouth, then a last phase where he does it. Legends like Curren are paid pretty much nothing post career - I can only imagine what JOB has in store for him. If nothing else, it’ll be fun to watch his twitters.
JOB,…that twitter feed is cry for help.
The North Shore today has become irrelevant;…the best surfing in the world is going down elsewhere.
The early pioneer surfers must feel disgraced that they worked to dig the trenches for today’s crying pros to lay the pipe.
And all the irrelevant locals who get spots in the Pipe masters should be lined up & shot. When past pipe masters champions are not included in the draw something stinks.
Brilliant Stu. Except for the Mark inference. He has retired and is now retroactively immune. Again.
Pipeline’s rim jobs are a cliche.
Economy makes Eddie R look immasculated, well, more than the photo last week.
Being involved in Twitter is evidence of what?
Smyrna is begging you, Perfect….. fish in a barrel. Fish.
True Stu. Tom Curren has been relegated to a shopkeeper in SB.
Only Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principles know what the future holds for Jobbie.
bOB JOb
Put it movies on NEtFLIx please
Thx
I will single handedly incapacitate Black Pipeline (aka the assertedly Polynesian-turned-Caucasian Pipeline) in the next ten years because:
1. I’m bilingual
2. SoCal photogs suck my dick for 5 months, not 1 month
3. GT is scared of swine flu
4. Meth is still second to coke in Oaxaca
5. Sean Collins and his marketing minions have a stake in my success
Though I must say, you have one strike against me when trust-fund twits like Bryan Conley consider me home.
Black Pipeline is a provocatuer……
Hawaii Was the measure.
If the “crying pro’s” are laying pipe, the next gen is hoping to avoid any labor and cash in.
If the ASP was REAL, only the competitors who qualified for the CT tour would compete. Wildcards fuck off, everywhere. We know you kill your spot, but don’t affect ratings that you can’t enter.
Pretend surfing is a real sport, not a marketing campaign or die ASP.
A rock mexican I know told me years back, that high school JOB was known for sticking objects up his ass. Seriously.
He surfs well obviously, but he’s a fricken idiot. I am almost embarrassed to be giving him my attention long enough to write this. How hard is it, too, to spew audaciously on twitter, which is perhaps the gayest thing going online.
That being said, even the part about his simpleton audacity, I laughed at the John Lennon bit.
And how’s Mark always defending the rock Mexicans only to be threatened away by ‘em.
Come on Mark, if you leave the terrorists win!
Erik you’re losing credibility with the racism. I initially laughed at the Lennon comment too. But actually it’s fucking idiotic.
Hey Eric, “rock mexican’s”……
Mark’s dilemna is time worn, but he wakes up to such beauty.
I wasn’t a Lennon fan, but laughing about murder is sick.
Glad to see your homework is over, now it’s time to be ugly.
@OK, SmyrnaJeff
Try to stay focussed on reality, as this is the last bash of the keyboard that I’ll waste on you. Read the fucking comment I made again about Mike. I said ‘people’ were trying to get him banned, not Mark. What’s with the ‘do your homework’ bullshit, are you taking this seriously? And it was a joke, not meant for you, it was meant for Mike, who has the brains to process it and return the shot, as he did: “GT is Peter Perfect before the sex change.” That’s fucking funny, but I’m not crying over it, getting angry and turning into a fucking internet stalker. You clearly have had a humor lobotomy, which is also profoundly affecting your ability to comprehend #2.
You’re not funny, entertaining or insightful and making fun of the intellectually disabled is not my gig, so don’t bother responding.
But do get a grip, you’re starting to make lists that compare the achievements of real people versus anonymous posters on a surf blog. Seriously, think about it. That’s like putting ‘Speed Racer’ on the list of all-time Formula One drivers and dissing Peter Perfect because his drag racer keeps breaking down. You, cur, are clearly delusional.
Limp Peter, out.
Rock mexicans…I told you, they’re polynesians-turned-caucasians after the annexation. Foodland ain’t got no tacos…
LOLZ at the cool guys who will comment on postsurf but hate on twitter. irony
Peter, Smyrna is wasted effort. Lord of the flies first “evacuee”.
Reality only real.
Hi ryan, thanks for validating profiling.
Is Postsurf evidence of schizophrenia?
Come on, ladies.
Sorry for the ‘ugly’ ‘racism’.
I like the Beatles a lot. It was exactly the audacity of dope-iness that caused a chuckle.
Funny I said those things when I have a conference call tomorrow with the Anti Defamation League about a presentation for some kids on Thurs. Ironic, huh.
Still, I can’t help but note the silence about Brazilians, Gays, (and previously) Hawaiians when they have been the butt of jokes on this site before. Let alone the degrading comments about women. (And not that I haven’t thrown the first stone.)
Maybe some should try to distinguish when and how jokes and/or light instigations break into insensitivities.
Yet, scary as it sounds, I do somehow respect the regulars enough to offer the initial apology, at least on such touchy issues.
Maybe I need to clear my head with a heli-ski.
Erik, your contrition is well received and moving. It speaks volumes that a regular like yourself has the fortitude to acknowledge a misstatement and return the conversation back to civility. I for one accept your apology and believe you meant no harm. The lines are certainly grey here.
But I still have to burn your fucking house down. Sorry, I have a mob to answer to.
I miss Mark.
Cue banjo music…
Where is Blasphemy?
Fuck you guys are dull. Get in the water tomorrow and shake it off.
Even twiddling a one legged G.I. Joe on a micro SUP made from used dick swabs from a stolen bag of medical waste left behind Diamond Head Clinic in a rimless shithole in a public stall at Ehukai offers more entertainment.
Find the subtle jabs and secret messages in that one
before the dane vs jordy hype there was the dane vs jamie hype. jamie said in an interview that is dane made it on the wct he would try to qualify too… jamie, where are you? .. freak.
If the top 44 and webcast crew are really just the Celebrity Apprentice, and GT is The Douchebag, who is Ivanka?
Dear Jamie….
You surfing is brilliant. It would behoove you though if you kept your mouth shut. It is painful to listen to you speak. Similarly your twittering/blog is equally painful to read and only serves to further cement your degree of idiocy.
Also your sideways hat thing is really corny.
JOB, remember when you had black hair and a good surfing style? Me neither.
JOB ruled Pipe this past winter. And Pipe had one of it’s best seasons on and off in years. He dominated every session. You guys are bored and overANALysing each others posts way 2 much. No matter how bizarre he might be, if you are a real surfer at all you have to give the freak your utmost saltwater respect. He is one of the best Pipe surfers of all time and handsdown one of the best tuberiders of all time. And he isn’t near finished yet. Think about what he will do with the towrope when he is in the older washed up phase that RCJ and Garret are in? He has 20+ years left easy and by then Stu will be sponsored by Depends, Aetna and Chrysler P.T. Cruiser Homosexual Legends Series.
I would counter that JO’B is fully aware of the hopelessness of his situation in the meat-mill of professional surfing world and its compromised aspirations. He knows too many people who’ve wound up with a series of jobs in lieu of a career. No one stays on tour forever and sponsorship just happens. “Loyalty” and “Permanence” are foreign concepts. Out of this cynical morass, he’s chosen to cope by adopting identities with overcompensated self-importance and inflated self-worth. He lives for the backdoor tubes because it’s the one place that offers some measure of what he perceives to be “value,” because it offers an immediate reward for the effort. And there is no context of past or future with him; instead, like all the technology that surrounds he and his ilk, there’s just the knife’s edge of the present waiting to be supplanted by the next and faster version.
That next and faster version will proceed to dump his trodden down corpse into the burlap sack of obscurity and the cycle will continue.
Nothing new to see here folks.
He’s just proved he’s one dimensional person. He balls are bigger than his brain and in five years he’ll be fat and forgotten just like Shawn Brilley. Sad but true. Really doubt he’ll amount to anything more than small minded bitter person who thinks the world might cares about what he thinks or lack there of.
speaking of homosexual legends, anyone hear the rumor about Occy and some sort of hijinx at Margs recently? I expect Lewis will do a full expose in the coming days…
Mike, you’re right re Mark. I’ll stop the hassling and try to be nice, just like Slater’s dad over his last days.
Geeeez who does this guy think he is blatantly daring to have a bit of FUN!!! a concept seemingly lost on some of you quasi intellectual and certifiably nerdtastic ramblers in this somments section. I didnt realise there were so many SEALS here.
jamie o shitstorm
tweeting so relentlessly
bitter posts abound
let me try again…
He just proved he’s a one dimensional person. His balls are bigger than his brain and in five years he’ll be fat and forgotten just like Shawn Brilley. Sad but true. Really doubt he’ll amount to anything more than small minded bitter person who thinks the world cares about what he thinks or lack there of.
Nice to see Richbzztch step in with the Stu bashing now that Mark is formally retired.
Oh yeah and it is pretty obvious how Stu is trying to bait Mark back into commenting again. Give it up broham. I know for a fact that when it comes to the safety of their family a southern boy will do anything. Even quit Post Surf.
I also hear that southern folks will wait in line at Popeye’s to get free chicken and then yell at the drive-through machine when they close down early. Is that where Mark is?
Mark isn’t protecting anything…. read the post in context, Smyrna.
This thread is about JOB, review the past criticism’s of Hawaii, Hawaiians and the rock…. what do you find? Mark ejecting. Read his response to me above…… self preservation.
Once we start clowning Ricky Whitlock, Bammy will be back and he’ll be trashing me, Stu, BR, etc.
As for Mr Erik, I hate the Beatles, but can’t condone street murder. The opposite of you. Racism is another touchy thing, I wish everyone had a thicker skin and we could just have fun with it all, but we can’t. You live in San Diego and the omnipresent population shift reads loud and clear. It’s ok, they’re just migrating back, nomadic indians looking for work.
Blasph returns to the party with a replay of several posts above him. Despite the regurgitation, Rottonmouth displays the eloquence that is Lewis’ signature.
Meter hit it right on the head, JOB is tomorrow Briley! Only with less friends because Shawn’s dad doesn’t own a pipe house…… Jamie’s saving grace.
Mark you paranoid douchebag watch out for those “local” Filipino kiddies flashing signs outside of foodland. Go see a shrink….
Shrink-Hey Mark, how are you?
MARK - I didn’t sleep very well last night,…., I had nightmares, nightmares, nightmares I tell you….I dreamed of dark kids on tricycles threatening me, and when I woke up, I had a dark peanut in my mouth.
Perhaps this speaks to my own lack of depth, with all the quazi-braniacs on this blog spewing their own verbal caca. Let me be clear that I think Twitter is stupid, but I found Jamie’s one-liners quite bizarre and hinted at a surprising level of intellect. I am not sure if anyone has brought this up, but I actually question if this stuff is really coming from him. Did anyone think of that? Throwing out french words and references to existentialism? Would Jamie O’ really be twittering every 2 minutes while Da Bull is pulling up sharks from the side of the boat? I don’t know, if it is him, good on him because yes he is an amazing surfer, and we know most guys on that level didn’t have time for school and books. I was on the North Shore 10 years ago when he was a skinny little kid, not just killing it at 2nd reef, but absolutely the best guy out in the water during every session.
@BR, brilliant mate. Nailed it. And not super creepy. Nice job.
@JOB, ignore the haters and keep doing your thing brother. And oh yeah, be cool to strangers and spread some aloha. You have a unique opportunity in life to do so. Don’t blow it.
Gee….he’s a catch….eloquent and funny…..NOT!!!
i gotta say that i can’t stop reading those stupid twitter posts by JOB. it’s like a bad car accident. on one hand he’s such a deuche (i mean cocksucker), but on the other hand, you gotta give him props for getting his name out there and making a good living by surfing pipe…..beats a desk job any day…
Are these comments screened?
@Test,
Yes.
By a volleyball net packed with silly putty and three rolls of duct-tape tied to two upright midget husks… named Xavier and Reginald respectively.
JOB - possible first member of the PostSurf HOF?
I say yes.
JOB’s plan is all falling into place with this giant amount of comments… His sarcasm and randomness of his twitter account are obviously for shock value and to get people talking and to have a laugh… I love to sit back and watch the puppet master (Jamie) string along all of you stupid puppets!
prognosis: TOOL
…don’t do so much dumb stuff in your 20s that you can’t actually live it down….
hmmmm…. a surf media whore calling out other surf media whores…. hmmmmm
Lewis says interesting stuff, and the discussion can be interesting, too. Wish Lewis would clean up the site by cutting out people who make disturbing comments. An alternative, more critical perspective of surfing is welcome, but a forum for the weird people to draw attention to themselves by making offensive comments isn’t. Maybe at least do a thumbs-up / thumbs-down posting system that would make the site self-policing regarding comments. I think this is getting common for blogs now. Another option would be requiring legit registration before posting.
@Test
So, what you’re saying is, Lewis should do the most boring thing possible.
Well, I for one, think that’s already been done at Surfline. Why did you leave that safe haven? Actually, don’t answer that. You’re last post put me in the mood for sleep.
G’night.
@Test….
“Homogeny, party of one, your table is ready”
JOB is annoying on Twitter. I followed him then started to get mobile updates which quickly made me hate JOB! Shut the Hell up! Show clips you’ve edited don’t just blow shit into the air about how dope you are! No one cares. Shut up and surf! Twitter is just a ‘look at me’ element of JOB. He is an incredibly talented surfer and I give him crazy props for his talents on the North Shore. Hell, I even bought his semi decent flick, Freakside. But he is NOT on my ‘following list’ anymore; never will be either… like he gives a shit
The one thing to know about JOB is that he is a weird looking mongoloid just like Jordy Smith. Can’t stand that ugly mug.
It is better to be hurt by the truth then to be comforted by lies.
Interesting choice of who not to tear a new one, Lewis. Your post reads kind of like Sally Field’s “You really like me” acceptance speech. This self-drunken Donald Trump of super douches mutters your name and you roll over and expose your belly like a dachshund.
His latest tweets worry me some!!!
“whoisjob:If Israel had massive waves I might be able to care. If hipster youth didn’t get excited about bicycles I might not kick their dicks.”
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