Remember that story last year about a Kaua'i mortgage lender who stole $1 million from Bruce and Andy Irons?
As reported in the James W. Lull was charged with defrauding investors in a Bernie Madoff-styled Ponzi scheme, eventually declaring bankruptcy and owing his victims $50 million.
At the time, many surfers expressed something along the lines of "judging by what happens when you drop-in on WolfPak guys, I'd hate to see what happens when you steal $1 million from them."
Well, James Lull was supposed to appear in court in Hawaii yesterday.
Instead, he was found dead in Washington state.
According to a story, Lull's car car "went off the road north of the Fred Redmond Bridge, flew through a barbed-wire fence and fell some 200 feet down a canyon wall." (Link via .) Check out for more.
We've all seen enough 80s action films to fill in the story ourselves from here:
The comments from readers of the Komo News story hint at the three most likely screenwriting scenarios:
1) Lull committed suicide because he knew he'd be killed anyway in the Hawaiian prison system.
2) Lull was murdered by someone he defrauded - the car was tampered with or he was forced off the road.
3) Lull faked his own accidental death so his family could collect the insurance money. Lull is on a beach somewhere in Mexico.
Almost all of the commenters feel that Lull's death was well-deserved. Apparently, the vast majority of anonymous Hawaiian internet commenters advocate the death penalty in cases of white collar crime. As one commenter put it, "Is this really a suicide? I feel it is vengence! Did someone who got bilked get revenge? If it was, good work! An eye for an eye, although the payback was more severe!"
The article also goes on to suggest that, argh,there a' might be hidden treasure.
"Trustee Ronald Kotoshirodo alleged in court documents that Lull, who was not fully cooperating, had told acquaintances that he had hidden assets from victims and investigators...Lull admitted during a sworn deposition in March that he had not initially disclosed $3 million in assets, which the trustee later discovered. Those assets included diamonds, opals, coins and collectible pool cues, according to court documents."
This last bit confirms without a doubt that a Hollywood movie is right around the corner. I can see the pitch-meeting now: "It's Point Break meets , with a bit of Midnight Run thrown in."
The first half of the script will pretty much write itself. But the second half, in which a rag-tag band of Wolfpak Goonies go after the hidden treasure, still needs some work.
Another sign this is a good screenplay: The names match up perfectly. 3-time surfing champ Andy Irons gets defrauded by Lull - get it? Get it? Also note that the federal public defender is named Peter Wolff - allusions to both Peter and the Wolf AND the Wolfpak... And what do you think the "W" stands for in James W. Lull? It both hints at the biggest defrauder of them all, George W, but it actually stands for William... meaning the Goonies are yet again going after the treasure of One-Eyed Willie, just like in the original!!
Let us pause for a moment to appreciate just how ridiculous it is that The Goonies actually had a group of schoolchildren go in search of the hidden treasure of One-Eyed Willie.
Alright, kids: what happens next? Will the WolfPak Goonies find the hidden treasure of diamonds, opals, and collectible pool cues? Will Kekoa Bacalso reprise his role of Chunk? Who will fill out the rest of the cast?
Dude, did you go on a writing cruise around Indo with the Boy George? No? Then stop writing like a spaz.
Hey Andy…..Hold off on going to rehab. I think I found a way to get back in good graces with your dealer.
Anyone notice how horribly out of shape Andy looks in some of the media photos? Dude flabbed out hard since he took his sabbatical from competition. I thought coke made you skinnier?
never trust a fat guy in a Hawiian shirt
Drew Courtney or Jordy Smith as Sloth?
Friggin’ hilarious.
the truffle shuffle… priceless
@PacNW, i was thinking the same thing.
BABYROOTH?!
Drew Courtney will play Mama Fratelli.
Freddy P or Adriano De Souza as Data? Wardo’s looking good for the pissed off older brother role. Alana Blanchard as Andy for sure.
You’d think that Bruce, with a wife in the RE biz, would never fall for a scheme such as Lull pulled.
Sadly, fat like a kook in a Hawaiian shirt chance.
All RE sales folks are overpaid sales schlubs. Always pumping the same old saw, “Now is the time to buy”!. “They are not making any more real estate”!
BTW, it was not coke, it was oxy, IST.
I pray Andy well. And all that he deserves in life. I pray he gets past the drug dependancy.
He will continue to absolutely rip, even with a few well deserved pounds on him.
Geev’em!
This Lull fuk was a absolute scammer. One who takes advantage of peoples trust. And they do it on such a deep level of fraud. Ruining people in the process.
These scams all operates on a very deep psychological level. Very planned. A long protocol.
Just look at what goes on with the multitude of penny stocks, and message boards. Check out the MDVX.OB Investorvillage board, where the rump group of penny stock pumpers control the agenda, and the message. Banning anyone who gets in their way. And then check out the Yahoo MDVX.OB message board.
The best of hype starts out with a dash of truth. And the scammer, scheming con man knows the truth, and takes advantage of manipulating it.
The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you got it made.
Beware, rommies. Beware.
yeah, Bob, you’d think Brucie’s chick must be smart if she sell’s RE… where’s that rolleyes thingny when I need it?
hmm…sell’s? Maybe she’s smarter than I am.
this dude should get a role
hilarious caveman with the twitching man steroid packed bubs
jesse ventura could also go in the flick
Who said your too soft against Hawaiians? Well, kinda. How about Kala as the jock from Goonies?
Rob Machado killed him. They were talking on the phone together, but after listening to Rob Machado speak for more than 30 seconds, James W. Lull couldn’t bear the torture and decided to run his car off the road in a desperate attempt to end the subjection to Rob’s maddening stupidity.
Why didn’t he simply hang up the phone, you ask? Well, he tried, but the effects of Rob’s speech paralyzed him by that point. He couldn’t hang up. Sadly, all he could do was keep his foot on the gas and his hands locked in one position on the wheel. “Maybe I deserved this for all my wrongs - the Irons brothers need their money for drugs - and I robbed them of that - at least they will never find my collectible pool cues with which only I am allowed to play,” he thought to himself as he drove off the road to his death.
Let this be a warning to you all. When Rob Machado attempts to discuss the meaning of life, why waves break in certain places, or what kind of burrito he ordered, cover your ears and run. You’ll live longer.
Well this one is obvious. He was killed by the spirit of aloha.
@Pobby Brown.
Hey,… I resemble that statement!
That Goonies shit with Kekoa is disturbing mate.
I admit, he saw me walking down the road, and he couldn’t beleive the size of the bulge in my pants, and whoooosh, right off the road.
Hey Heinz,
I dig Rob.
And so does he.
Rob Machado = self caricature at an advanced stage of his career. His wife is hot and he has a sick house though. At least between him and the Irons surfing can still uphold the appearance of having a substance problem.
Why the hate people? Why? JOB pointed out that you guys were making fun of me and I can’t believe what I’m reading — everybody loves me!
I am one of the world’s greatest surfers, having helped define the modern era of the sport. I’m internationally known for my unique and impeccable style on land as well as the water.
I’m so respected that they inducted me into the Hall of Fame TWICE. I was featured on Surfline just the other day, talking about how I can rip on an ironing board.
I am a true soul surfer in an era where other pro surfers are all about the lure of the dollar. I keep it real, brothers, so just chill out and keep surfing.
I’d like to thank Hurley, Reef, Dragon Optical, Channel Islands, Nixon,
Boost Mobile, Sambazon, Creatures of Leisure, and Bubble Gum Surf Wax.
And my hairdresser.
Lewis, you missed a classic rant that blasted asp surfers plus rips expn and daily choke. Their show’s alright, occasionally the blogs are pretty good.
Hello kooks and haters.
Line of the day at the Billabong Pro from Luke Egan, “Don’t mess with me GT”, said in a half-joking way. GT shit his frilly undies.
Reply from GT or one of his ‘friends’ saying how “Luke was only joking, GT is really well-liked and is a nice guy and he’s not gay at all” in 5, 4, 3, …
Lewis, Layne Beachley informs the media before heading out to ‘Ours’ for a surf in Sydney. It even made the Los Angeles Times. Media whore or savvy marketing? Discuss.
It seems like Stu and his followers are always putting people down for being in sales or some other job that doesn’t require 10 degrees. They also look down on you if you don’t have enough education.
Hey Stu can you please give us some guidelines on what you consider an acceptable occupation and some minimal education requirements?
I just want to know if I should be holding my head high or if I should be ashamed of myself. Thanks.
@Mark
Stu has followers?
@perfect peter
her {Layne Beachley’s} cock is probably bigger than mine but not as perfect as yours. In reality, her balls are probably bigger than most of ours. Stone’s are treating me well…..let’s get it on sack munchers!
Layne Beachley looks like the offspring of Mick Mars and Ozzy Osbourne and to top it all off, he surfs like a fecking girl fer chrissakes. But the way he sacked up and throated that ledge at “The Most Ridiculous Name for a Surf Spot Ever,” was straight up brute manliness at its finest.
Layne claimed that wave like he was tits deep in a tub of Borax.
@BR
He has a huge, purple german-helmeted, veiny- shafted cock.
My pee pee shriveled as I saw that on surfline as I was about to post my latest advances in hammock-hanging
@Trauzer,
Naw, I think he’s a tranny. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Some of my best friends are tranny’s.
Like, for instance, Free Radical.
@trauzersnake
My question isn’t about balls per se, it’s about tipping off the media before going for a surf. She’s got some stones, probably way bigger than her has-been muso boyfriend, but not as big as Keala Kennelly’s.
Probably the funniest bit about the whole thing is that the “My Brother’s Keeper” dudes just got owned by a girl. Wave of the day and surfed it just as well as any of the Bra Boys would have. Now can she and them go away? Please.
@BR, there is a couple of reasons the Bra Boys named it ‘Ours’. It has one syllable. Bet half of them still can’t spell it. Also, it was a message to the bodyboarders who were locals there that they were no longer welcome to surf a spot that they had the balls to surf first. The Bra Boys talk about ‘respect’ when going to someone else’s local spot but basically took over someone else’s surf spot. Fucking dumb hypocrites.
Bra Boys, Da Hui, Wolfpack, Lunada Bay, etc, etc… wake me when they’re smart enough to tie their own shoes. The only real gang-banging they’re carrying out involves a light bulb, eighteen rolls of electrical tape, three broom sticks, and a deaf/mute named Horace.
Two Words for Bra Boys = Russell Crowe.
@PP
Yeah, she strapped one on and smashed the brother’s keepers, oh wait, it was real…and Keala Kennelly does have some stones..hehe
Well on of the Bra Boys did manage to ‘accidently’ kill someone. Props where it’s due.
But despite how they tried to portray themselves in their ‘documentary’ they are a bunch of ugly thugs. I once turned down a job when I lived in Australia because it meant that Maroubra would have been the closest beach for a post-work afternoon surf and I didn’t want to get beaten once a week and have my tyres slashed because i didn’t kick out when one of those asshats with the fucking tats dropped in on me.
Speaking of Australia, that gang-banging sounds like Aussie footballers on a Sunday night after the game…
@Allan Weisbecker
So when’s Cosmic Bandito’s coming to fruition at our local theaters? In honor of your name, I’m pulling a lil’mo’ off d’ top o’ dis here mescal.
Lewis, please can we have a fucking preview, I just made a typo that makes me look as uneducated as Mark.
By stone I was referring to Stone Pale Ale….just to clarify, although I’d have to agree that Keala Kenelly does indeed have some stones.
@BR
It’s coming out real soon….as soon as I figure out the right way to hang this fucking hammock, rub one off, and complete the subsequent clean-up, or should I say Limpio.
I s’pose them Bra Boys strike fear in the hearts a the faint; but jeezus, tattoos and muscles combined with the ability to stand up on a wave equals respect? Sounds like they need a few more years to catch up to the shores of New Jersey in the summer.
Like my hero Brutus ‘The Beefcake’ Barber always said, “If it could be scientifically proven that you can actually see my nuts, they’d replace the lenses in the Hubble telescpe with your corneas.”
@PP
Word.
We should… nay, MUST have a preview button before we post our absurd commentary.
I couldn’t even sleep last night… knowing that I mistakenly posted as ‘That Annoying Guy,’ when I meant to post a heartfelt comment that would shake mankind to its very foundations.
Alas, the meaning vanished like a fart in the wind.
I’d like to see Layne Beachly vs. RCJ in a cage match…with rob machado and dino andino as commentators.
then RCJ being cock-whipped could appear on the XXL awards
D’Andino: “Well Trauzer, that’s absolutely correct. Layne’s looking super fit for this contest. We know he’s worked his ass off in the off season by slaving as a part time fencepost in ‘killing fields’ of Cambodia. Furthermore, his heat strategy seems eons above the other competitors. What I mean is that, he plans to catch more waves, and get this; SET waves, and surf them harder than Lou Pearlman barebacking a 10 year-old boy.”
Parsons: “WELL… heh heh, uh, let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves. After all, these ARE the best surfers in the world, competing in the rare – glorified arena of 2-3 foot mediocrity. I wouldn’t sell RJC or any of the guys we’re sponsoring in, I mean, surfing this event short. Ironically, this reminds me of that one time I snaked Gerr at Trestles and he promptly clenched his rectum on my turgid rhino-chaser. Can you believe that Dino? Feckin’ square… oops! Are we on the air?”
… etc, etc, ad nauseum.
Parsons: trauzersnake, what’s your take on RCJ?
trauzersnake:”Yes indeed, the story of Ross Clarke-Jones is at once compelling. His manhandling of the biggest and craziest waves in the world is the same approach he applies to his life. Full tilt, bared teeth and a hunger that cannot be sated. He’s an adventurer who’s intrepid exploring is breaking new barriers, whether that’s in the remote corners of Tasmania or the lush corridors of the Amazon. Oh hang on, that’s the PR blurb for his self-aggrandizing ‘documentary’.”
And no, that’s not my bad grammar and typos. That’s actually the blurb. Anyone can be a writer, it seems. Even the illiterate.
I’m spent mu’fuckers.
Tomorrow night… same Bat time, same Bat channel?
G’night.
wow, Mark, your insecurities must run deep. The thought was that if she’s with Bruce, she’s probably not too sharp, even if she sell’s RE. I know plenty of very well-educated RE agents (I also know a ton of dopes who do the same job, but you get what you pay for). I also come from a family of sales folks. They all went to college (and beyond) though. So, if you’re seeking my advice on how to feel about yourself, I’d say you should feel very, very bad. Not because you’re uneducated, but because you’re so insecure that you kook out repeatedly on an internet blog over stuff that nobody else would even give a second thought.
And, yes, PP, I apparently have followers. Bababooey to y’all! Speaking of which, if you haven’t watched the video of his first pitch at the Mets game, you should. It’s classic. Sort of how I assume Mark would throw.
Good job Stu. I see you ate your wheaties this morning.
A little melancholy in my world. Flat water but incredible blues and greens and whites and killer diving.
Aloha
P.S. I have pitched a near perfect game in little league, bowled a documented 292, shot under par and won a couple of tennis tornaments Stu. And if you want to have a 2 hour heat, me and you, in 5 to 8 foot Hawaiian surf,for $1,000 cash, judged by Mike, than BRING IT!!!!
There you go again, Mark, reacting to the internet. Your kids must be so proud their daddy is a good bowler.
Getting something stolen sucks its a weird kinda violation. I dont think he deserved to die, but I feel a little satisfaction when a thief gets busted or shot. I wish they would round up all the chronics around here and send them off a cliff too.
Here’s the connundrum that relates to this thread, not Mark’s inadequacies….
What is more likely…… Kenneth Lay Dead or Bin Lade Alive?
Bin Laden was on Dailysis in 2001, in an American hospital….. Has he survived 7 years of scaring the world from a cave with a mobile dialysis machine?
Kenneth Lay was approaching sentencing. A church pastor’s secretary in Texas announced his death in Colorado, of heart attack and a closed casket service was heavily attended in Houston. No Hospital spokesperson, no doctor, no law enforcement, no coroner announcement in Colorado. And why a close casket for heart attack?
“Weekend at Bernie’s” bin Laden has endured being the poster boy of fear for the GOP.
Kenny boy is partners in a massive ranch in Paraguay with his good ol buddy W….. The ranch has the largest lake in Paraguay and W barely acknowledged that he knew Kenny boy…. W’s nickname for him.
HMMMMMMMM…….
As interesting as the Carlyle Group meeting in Kennibunkport on Sept 11, ‘01 and being flown out the following day despite an airport closure.
“Alice, are you down the well”?
Don’t respond Mark, it would open Pandora’s box for you and it’s so nice and cozy having Faith in Money.
your all a bunch of ass fucking hippies
@Steepmygargantuonnutsinyourmouth
The great thing about this internet thing is if you don’t like something don’t have to look at it…..biaatch,
Gotta say the pictures are sick, but the comments for this post are worse than watching Timmy “The Huntington Beach Hobbit” Reyes matchup against Miki “Europeans Always Get Underscored” Picon in 3 foot Chopes while GT interviews Layne Beachley about becoming the de facto leader of the Bra Boys.
Hey Mike how come you constantly go back in time and bash the previous administration when there is so much crap going on with this new one?
Do you feel secure knowing that if something happened to Obama then Biden would be president? How do you feel about Nancy Pelosi? Are you proud to have her as Speaker of the House and second to Biden in line for President of the greatest country in the world?
Admit it Mike. You seem like a pretty sharp guy. Are you proud of Nancy Pelosi?
Pelosi needs to go down with Cheney, Rummy, Rove, and your president, W.
Investigate thoroughly, let the chips fall where they may.
I get it Mark and all corruptive influence needs to addressed.
Obama ran on Change and we need radical change, not nuanced incrementals.
@ Greg Noll:
So says a co-king of the RF? Of course, I kid but if we’re talkin’ Waimeia tips and surfboard shaping, I stand corrected.
When it comes to investing $1m+ in a real estate venture, you’ll need to be wearing a Brooks Brothers suit (or bespoke tailoring none of that Today’s Man two for $200 crap) and holding a Wharton MBA (or equivalent degree from a reputable East Coast B School).
LS - good that you found the disconnect in some locals’ “eye for an eye” comment, seeing how it’s obvious that fleecing money from capable — but disinterested and less-than-pragmatic — adults deserves a vengeful death sentence.
North Port Florida Business Reviews
I just don’t understand why these guys get married. No one would care what they do if they didn’t. Think Wilt Chamberlain.
Thank you for a great post
Any good mortgage leads?
Wonderful to read!
Wonderful to read!
Wonderful to read!
Hi ! Great posting / this is exactly waht I needed to know!