Adrian Buchan
Tahiti Result: 17 Previous Result: 17 ASP Rating: =14
Truly cutting edge surfers today realize that contest winnings and sponsorship agreements should only represent a fraction of their earnings. The big money is in tell-all memoirs, video games, and merchandising. Just ask Kelly, who’s penned two books, created one video game, and now has his own skin cream from Kiehl’s. Ace Buchan has a reputation for being one of the sharpest tools in the shed of tools that is the Top 45. He’s been moving strong into the diversification game, profiteering off his writing skills. Ace wrote a children’s book and he has a surprisingly insightful blog going on Surfline, where contributors are rumored to make in the neighborhood of $100 dollars per article! Who said surfing doesn’t pay – that’s some P.Diddy money, right there. It will be interesting to see how the ever-gracious Buchan spins his loss to Mick Campbell, who is basically a geriatric orangutan with alopecia and a bunch of moles that need to be looked at. Ace parked himself in a few tidy ones during their heat, but Mick got the best of the priority situation and utilized his opportunities.
Kelly Slater
Tahiti Result: 17 Previous Result: 17 ASP Rating: =25
Sporting lives are lived in dog years. For fans, watching a great athlete stream by and then inevitably pass away is like losing the family dog. Surfers of my generation grew up with Kelly Slater – he was young with us, wildly successful when we were groveling students, rich when we were poor, a retiree just when our lives were getting started, and then he was vanquished just as we started to succeed. Seeing Kelly struggle, like watching Michael Jordan struggle, is just as painful as seeing a once great dog grow old and lame. Sure, you feel bad for them. But they’re just fucking dogs – mostly we feel bad for ourselves, because watching a dog die reminds us of our own mortality and expiring dreams.
Slater’s comebacks allowed us all to breath deep and inhale a lungful of vitality – as he won again and again, we felt immortal again. But now - watching these three 17th s in a row? Well, in shaky times, no one wants one more reminder that we live in an age of decline, an era in which things once held bedrock-stable crumble to ruin around us. No one wants a reminder that death is coming, death is the end, and that believing otherwise is a pastime for emotional children, who still need to be lied to.
Dane Reynolds
Tahiti Result: 33 Previous Result: 33 ASP Rating: =28
Watching Dane Reynolds surf makes me feel young again. A frisky, buoyant Reynolds tail-pitch gives me hope for the future. Things are headed in the right direction! I used to be cynical about surf companies and their new Little Emperors. “It’s all marketing hype!” I’d whine. “None of these kids are the next Slater or Curren! The next Slater will come from some third-world ghetto. It’s just too convenient for Quiksilver that the next Slater would be a marketable, charming, handsome kid from Southern California.”
That my friends, is what I USED to believe. But Quiksilver’s videos and articles in the surf mags about Dane going on Quiksilver-funded boat trips opened my eyes to the truth. Dane Reynolds is in fact the best surfer on earth. Kelly Slater said so, and why would he say that if it weren’t true? And you know what’s even better than Dane’s ultra-progressive surfing? It’s the fact that he’s not some corporate stooge – he’s a super-laid back artist type just like me. He likes independent music, he takes photographs, and he’s such a good photographer that he even has his own line of T-Shirts, with his photos on them, available from Quiksilver. He’s the real deal, as evidenced by his last two 33rds.
Jeremy Flores
Tahiti Result: 17 Previous Result: 17 ASP Rating: 17
Here’s another kid with a tremendous future. I didn’t really know anything about Flores, or like his surfing very much, until I checked out this awesome trilogy of movies about a group of 4’ tall hobbits on a quest in a scary foreign land. I’m talking of course about Young Guns 1-3. Turns out I’m way off base about Jeremy. He’s probably the best young competitor on earth and a major star, which I hadn’t realized because he’s European, and Europe is this sleepy little backwater with a giant fucking economy and untapped consumer base, just waiting for a once-in-a-generation Quiksilver-sponsored surfer to emerge and introduce them to the sport and clothing style that is surfing. Now that I’m well-informed, and my American-prejudice has been broken down, it’s obvious to me that Jeremy Flores, who’s gotten 17th in the last two events, is clearly a world title contender… and if you haven’t figured that out yet, then you’re not watching the Quik vids closely enough.
Jay Thompson
Tahiti Result: 9 Previous Result: 9 ASP Rating: 13
You know when you go to tasteful, exclusive, high-end restaurant, and you’re having a relaxing meal of the highest level, drinking a special wine, and some goddamned out-of-state tourist walks in and sits down at the table next to you? And he’s wearing clothes from wall-mart, and talking loudly to his simply tacky date, and they’re laughing and having fun like idiots, and you think to yourself, “How did HE get here? He shouldn’t be here! He doesn’t belong! He doesn’t even have on a tie!” That’s how I feel about Jay “Bottle” Thompson. I mean, this fellow isn’t even an official member of the Top 45. He’s surfing in place of the injured Luke Stedman. And everyone knows that injury replacement surfers are meant to be seen, not heard. And now this Thompson gent has the audacity to win heats against better-sponsored surfers, like Jeremy Flores. This uncouth man has gotten two 9ths in a row, and he’s ranked 13th in the world! Have you ever heard of such a thing? I’m really peeved. He’s not even supposed to be here!
please mention that sheep ride channel islands/burton machine shaped boards and they’re trying to humans from surfboard production. support yer local shaper. thanks
So, am I to understand that Jay Thompson is the Jed Clampett of the top 44, whose happy-go-lucky, backwoodsy approach to life is just the thing to help him successfully navigate his way through the Beverly Hills that is the ASP World Tour?
Solid Gold
Dane is not the best surfer in the world. Kelly is.
Dane Reynolds, as talented as he is, needs to ditch the whole soulful artist schtick and become a professional athlete.
He’s beginning to resemble those can’t miss NBA Lottery picks that missed. I’m thinking Ryan Leaf, Brian Bosworth and hoops guys like Marcus Liberty and Walter Berry.
nailed it…again.
dane, oh dane.
if only you could me more kekoa and less rastovich. (talking personality, not surfing)
18th is generous and arguably a waffle. He’s either got clothes or he’s naked.
Submitted for your disapproval regarding, ‘how to score’:
There is no better scoring system to consider than the sport of bowling. I’m not sure how you would adapt the current judging criteria of surfing to a non-linear (but still objective) valuation of performance, but the bowling scoring system remains the holy grail nonetheless. Think of barrels as strikes and huge turns as spares, it’s not necessarily how many you pull-off but how many in a row. And those last frames are all make or break, which means added pressure on the competitors and added viewing investment as time runs down for the rest of us wankers.
That is one damn fine piece of writing right there, Mr. Samuels. I don’t know if 3 17ths mean Slater is a dying dog, but you’ve captured collective fears perfectly with the metaphor. If that makes you a Slater ball-licker, then I’m not sure I, Ballz, want to be licked.
I love the Ginga Ninja, but indeed it is beyond dispute that he “is basically a geriatric orangutan with alopecia and a bunch of moles that need to be looked at.”
Great stuff on Dane and Bottles as well. And I’m glad to see you’ve finally come around on Jeremy Flores. But, I really can’t see him in Young Guns 1. Maybe the 2nd or 3rd in sort of a Christian Slateresqe role.
@ Pobby Brown
well put. but based on those examples maybe dane is suffering the after effects of years of steroid abuse, leaving his balls looking like shrivled little raisins, which would explain the whole emo hipster thing. maybe he just needs some female fertility drugs and he’ll be batting .500 like Manny.
Thank you PacNW! Surfing and bowling are exactly alike. See you on tour! In fact, I think I’ll down a pitcher of beer, smoke a few menthols and paddle out for a frame right now.
No thanks Pobby Brown, the world doesn’t need another “professional athlete” Dane rules, and i love reading when Lewis really slurps a guy.
Speaking of slurping a guy, that was a great interview of Fred P Chris Cote.
I think i need an emoticon for the dane reynolds scribble? not sure though..?
But I wish you would have addressed the white elephant. Is he or is he not going to play a young Mr. Miyagi in the Karate Kid prequel? Oh yeah, and your technical guy needs to work on the acoustics…I had trouble hearing your questions. Or maybe just try taking the interviewee’s cock out of your mouth when asking the question. You can put it back in afterwards.
I do have to admit I found this portion of the interview compelling:
Chris Cote: Bro, you have been ripping on tour.
Young Mr. Miyagi: Aww shucks, thanks Chris Cote.
Chris Cote: [Muffled, garbled slurping sound.]
Young Mr. Miyagi: Oh yeahhhhhhhh……..
YOu’re a prick, Lewis, I used to be champ
Lie to me Lewis, something to live for
Ballz, lay off Cote, he’s a brilliant journalist digging deep within the complexities of world tour athlete’s.
Samuels, the #17 analysis sums up destiny about as well as can be conveyed. Growth and death, no escaping our common fate, but don’t count out another Pheonix rising.
Lewis putting Slater at 17 despite his current rankings and inability to win a heat makes me think he’s one of those children who still needs to be lied to. Grow up buddy, it’ll be ok. Love the inclusion of Bottle, who apparently doesn’t qualify for consideration at surflie.
Always entertaining Lewis… Reading the start of the second part of the DR post, I almost thought you’d started drinking the QS Kool-Aid. Think again!
Although I’m not a huge K9 fan myself, I hardly think he’s going to go out to the back yard to lie down and die in the shade of his favorite bush! This season is far from done. Please, let us know if Kelly has told you anything different.
As for Dane, he’s still only in his second year on tour. He is an undeniable talent, although still lacking in some areas of his “wave experience” repertoire. If/when he ever decides to buckle down and give it one hundred per cent of his time and effort, he will easily have a shot at the Title.
Regarding Jeremy, I was even guiltier than the rest, claiming to a room full of hundreds at a private Quiksilver function in France, that the (at the time) 14 year old phenom was poised to be the next Kelly Slater. I take that back now. However, in only his third season, and at the tender age of 20, Jeremy has spent all of his career solidly entrenched in the Top 20. He is a very intelligent competitor, with exceptional technique. For some, he may not be the most “stylish” surfer to watch (which is why they took the very subjective word “style” out of the criteria), but he is a competition machine. He is not afraid to charge when it gets big, although he can overpowered by certain waves due to his relatively small physique. He gets fired up for big heats, and has already taken down the best (Kelly, Fanning, etc.). As he grows in stature and experience, there is no reason for him not to be in the Top 10 or Top 5 for years to come… no matter what videos he appears in or what brand he rides for.
And to conclude… FUCK YEAH, BOTTS!!! KEEP KICKIN’ ASS AND TAKIN’ NAMES, MATE!!! Cinderella story in the making! Will 2009 be the Year of the Underdog?!? Bring on Hong Kong Fuey!
@PacNW
Funny you mention that format… As well as being the innovator behind the “man on man” format, Peter Drouyn (I believe) introduced a scoring system based on number and kinds of moves, that was used at Bells Beach way back in the day. Don’t know if it took into account the critical nature of the wave or not, but either way, it didn’t last for long. The first (only?) time they used it, Michael Peterson won the day.
This order seems fair enough, though I would have Bottle a little higher. Anyone who earns their nickname by submerging a bottle of beluga sperm in their rectal cavity while going through customs in Nicaragua, for the sole purpose of expelling the bottle’s contents on the soft inner-folds of Drew Coutney’s pendulous labia; in a valiant effort to sooth his aching menstrual cramps after having his ovarian eggs, once again, rejected by Lewis Samuels’ verbal spooge – earns precious points in my pious mind.
Indeed, Bottle’s a true man of genius.
Now you’re just being ridiculous Blasphemy. I seriously doubt Drew Courtney is still menstruating.
Actually BR, think of one of those old school, glass Coke bottles…
Question? What 10 waves would you have on Tour for Dane Reynolds to be sure to win a title? If K9 is really done, like Lewis implies, we need to start lobbying for a Dane friendly Tour now, so the American market doesn’t lose interest and go back to watching cage fighting, tractor pulling and monster truck racing!
Look boys & girls, it’s time to face the facts: surf competitions are boring. What surfers really want to see are the best surfers surfing the best waves. (That is, a big, powerful, long-period swell, good shape and good local weather conditions.)
Here’s an expansion of an idea someone suggested in another thread as an alternative format that would be more exciting, less expensive and offer more subjective judging:
Take the top 16 guys, let them hang out at the best breaks during their particular high-points (eg Trestles in Sept, France in Oct, NS in Nov/Dec), and let 4 surfers surf for an 1/2 hour or so during round-robin heats while the other 12 judge. There wouldn’t be any particular criteria or priority. Surfers can always tell who the best guys are out at any particular spot - they just “know” - it’s the guys who command respect, get the best waves & rip. (Think T Knox on a 6-8 ft day at crowded Swamis.)
The cost would be minimal, the surf quality could be superb, and the comp would serve two basic purposes: (a) determine who is the “best”; and (b) generate some revenue from video sales and/or online advertising.
Like the previous poster suggested, let the bottom 8 rotate out via the world-wide ‘QS seeding process. As much as no one wants to actually watch the surfing, events like the HB US Open do serve an essential function (like a carnival) that are great from a commercial stand-point. Let the 8 survivors join the elite 16 in their quest for perfection and peer recognition.
While some may scoff at the above suggestions as unworkable, etc, etc, anyone who knows what’s going on the larger economy knows the days of the brands sponsoring the CT in its current format are numbered. Comps, if they are to exist at all, will end up looking somewhat like that described above.
Every K-dog has it’s day. Even one older than the rest of the puppies in the dogshow.
Sore spots for the elder statesman come and go. Maybe a Brazilian massage puts him in the right mood. Everything changes with the next comp. And the next. And the next. The vibrations from the ether rejuvenates his third eye.
Still, Taj wears the saddlebags of a donkey. Just look at his mug. Even he’s beginning to believe.
The ASP will never have the pull of a Tractor tug, a Monster truck muck, a MMA event, a Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. The ASP has no real marketable replacement. It’s spoiled meat in the La Jolla Mex sun.
But that never stops the penny stock hustlers, nor the ASP rodeo clowns from hyping it to the max.
I’m averaging down here. Buy now before it’s too late, and you miss the big move!
CRAP STOCK INDICATOR POSTS
the bashers are short -
don’t listen to all these bashers -
MM’s are holding this one back -
i’m buying at these levels -
this thing trades on air -
slap that ask -
to da moooooon -
the TA is gagged -
this thing is going to fly -
look at all the after hours buying -
T trades are after hours buying -
this is the [blue chip name] of the pinkies -
this thing is going to [>5x the current price] in [a short period of time] -
i am going to [something you would see on Cribs] with all the money i make off this stock -
i am going to send [something] to the SEC -
this thing is obviously being shorted -
just wait till the buyback is complete -
longs will be heavily rewarded here -
i feel a short squeeze coming soon -
i wouldn’t wanna be short with the [superlative activity] news coming out any day -
the [current business model] is just the beginning, they haven’t even talked about the [completely divergent and never previously mentioned second business model] yet -
the company needed to dilute to [do something superlative] -
after the [activity that screws shareholders] they’re going to issue dividends -
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee -
audited financials coming out any day -
if people would buy the ask instead of the bid this would go up -
why are you here if you don’t own stock in this company? -
do you even own stock in this company? -
just got an email from the company -
MM’s shaking out the weak hands -
bashers never bash a bad stock -
i am averaging down here -
this has huge upside potential -
that [ridiculous volume] buy was me -
after [current ask] level II is thin up to [>10% of the current price] -
[any post using a comma where decimels are typically used] -
a PR from the company would be nice here -
[any post containing the word "hugely"] -
hey [notorious IHUB P&D artist], good to see you here -
anything under [the 52 week high] is a tremendous buying opportunity -
what the PR meant to say is [something favorable to the shareholders] -
show me a link that proves [claim counter to the company's statements, and indicative of a shareholder screwing] -
[superlative activity] is due to be complete in [an undefined but reasonably short range of time], mark this post -
there is huge opportunity for [pinksheet ticker] in [3rd world country] and the [overhead item, eg-labor, material, etc.] is cheap -
To Mailman’s comment re. style being taken out of the criteria: it needs back in. Any score should be reduced by at least a point for horrible style.
@JimG, unless it’s a really stinky, stinkbug.
This is all a bit uninspired. Think I may have to move onward.
P.S. Bob would you please shut the hell up. Thank you.
Sorry lazer… I think BR has passed out on the couch, and Mark must be off on vacation with Occy’s mom.
Have to agree with lazer, too. Bob, if we wanted stock info or chat messages, we’d be commenting on the Motley Fool forum… Surfing or immature, childish insults or other derogatory comments only, please!
I’m reducing Bob’s score by a point for horrible style.
and also, if this were a surf comp, there’s Bob floating around on the inside, paddling a large inner tube with a spatula.
Article 137: Judging Criteria
A Commenter must write radical controlled comments in the critical sections of a website forum with Speed, Power and Flow to maximize scoring potential. Innovative/Progressive commenting as well as variety of repertoire (writing styles or obscure literary references) will be taken into account when rewarding points for comments written. The commenter who executes these criteria with the maximum of degree of difficulty and commitment on the website forum shall be rewarded with the higher scores.
I am so ready to gather a violent, irrational mob and burn some shit down. But you guys give me nothing. Shame on you all.
AVwP: 3.73 Nice move, lots of spray, and he really pushed it at the end with the “shame on you all” flourish. But still only one move. Can’t go any higher.
Speaking of Slater, anyone know what the big “issue” on his mind as of late is? He said it would be resolved this week…can’t wait to see what exactly weighs so heavy on the head that wears the crown. Weather to shave his head or wax? Whether to get that face peel to finally get rid of the acne scars or not? Whether he can attend his girlfriend’s prom next weekend? Whether he’ll be able to get someone else to write another book for him? Whether his new lotion line is going to expand overseas? Whether ZQK will continue to pay him the $$ he thinks he’s worth (oh, wait, that might weigh heavy on my head too…)?
Stu: 7.17 Pretty good flow, lots of hits, and a nice fins-free zing with the “girlfriend’s prom” comment. But a little repetitive and technical, with no really big move to justify a higher score.
That puts Stu in the lead for the heat. AVwP just needs a 3.74 to take the lead. Is that a set out the back?
FYI, I am wearing Black’s Slacks.
That’s not a set out the back. That’s Mark’s mother’s colossal carcass preparing to discharge a torrential tsunami of colon sledge - the likes of which, this world has never seen… well, at least since Bob Dobb’s last comment.
You’re right JB, the judges can’t give AVwP any more than an average score at best simply because it was a single manuever. Right now we’re going to cut to GT for an interview.
GT: So, bro, wow, you totally charged that one but then kind of faded out or something. How do you feel right now?
AVwP: I don’t get it. Are you a sailor or an aviator?
GT: Right bro. So, what do you think your chances are against the likes of Stu, Mike, Blasphemy and the boys?
AVwP: Look. I don’t know who you are or why you wear a sailor’s cap with aviator spectacles. The way you talk confuses me. I’m but a simple villager with a pitchfork, who is angry.
GT: I like it bro.
AVwP: One thing I do understand is that you’re a douche bag. We had em in my day, and I can see nothin’s changed, except for maybe the clothes and the the jibber jabber.
GT: Well, bro. I don’t think that’s…Ouch! Put that thing down, bro!
AVwP: Let’s get him. Everybody!!!!!
The Horror! The Horror!
Fake lazer @11:53: You are now imitating me by posting things I might actually write; perhaps I should retire and let you carry on the mantle? Enough of this masquerading, for I grow weary of having to explain your less-than-brilliant impersonations to my adoring public. Henceforth, you will refer to yourself as “lazer2″ and will be forced to earn respect through your witty remarks, as I did. Unlike me, however, you will be without the benefit of a phallus the size of a Pringles container.
Adding to Kelly Slater, I have it from a reliable source in Hades that he did indeed strike a deal with the Devil to gain superhuman surfing and anti-aging powers. Conditionally, however, Beelzebub required that all Slater’s body hair grow instead from Rob Machado’s ass.
BR: Oh, head first over the falls into the reef. That had to hurt. 0.23
Snips: 9.75 Totally ripping! Creative lines, loads of spray, and a sweet if somewhat unorthodox style. After huddling for several minutes, the judges decided not to penalize Snips for “burning the fuck out of GT.” When asked why, they said, “just because…”
Oooh boy, judges in a quandary. Lazer just took off, set his line, then dropped trou and started stroking himself through three straight whackable sections. And with a leash plug in his butt. Two judges threw up, the others just quiety wept. Score: 5.00
I demand the heat score reflect the fact that my post-barrel ejaculate was so far flung, so profound I was actually able to give Jamon Bagle a salty hot-rain facial through his computer screen.
And leash plugs be damned, I’m more of an auto-erotic asphyxiation cord-strangler kinda guy. I want a recount dammit.
I know Mark is going to hate me for this, but I keep seeing Jason Bogle instead of Jamon Bagle…
I move we make Bagle “Head Judge”. y3k and Time Machine got the heat started pretty low, quick in and outs, before Hillbilly busted the first fins free turn. Bob is bogging as usual. PacNW gets a few extra tenths of a point for throwing out the “bowling” scoring system to get the ball rolling. BR is kind of feeling like the Irons brothers in France last year…”over it”, and Snips definitely with the standout ride of the session, well into the high 9’s in today’s conditions… definitely an excellent comment at any time, but really helping the judges spread the scale in a comment starved heat!
Jamon you just got annoying. .77.
Can anyone confirm the location of this year’s so-called ‘Search’ event? Wondering what area of the world the ASP will ravage next. Thankfully I picked off a few sets at Hash Point (and beyond) in ‘08, so not feeling the need to head back anytime soon.
P.S. Lewis, you filthy bastard for the Desert’s barrel.
Occy’s Mum: The Search is in Portugal. Think beachbreaks; the tour’s well-rounded barrel riders will shine, while the Brazilians and Drew Courtney will suffer mightily from involuntary Basque colonic irrigations.
I find Jamon Bagle to be a breath of fresh air in a room that grows increasingly dank with repetitive and predictably lurid commentary. JB, I don’t expect you to keep up the scoring indefinitely. But, I think it’s a good idea for you to do it periodically to keep some of the blowhards in check. With that I bid you good day, sir.
lazer’s form is slowly improving. If his earlier comment was a 5.0, then his last must be close to a 6. A bit too short and one dimensional, but entertaining nonetheless. Not quite good, but definitely above average! About 5 minutes to go in this one, lazer’s going to need to let loose to catch Snips, but may well go through to the next round if he can get in one more good one! Angry Village person has apparently left the building to go round up the irrational mob, or maybe just to prepare a pipe bomb to blow us all up…
Nice to see Occy’s Mum is back from vacation with Mark, if that’s in fact where she was… Mrs. Occy, the information that Mr. lazer is passing along has much truth to it. However, judging from the incoherent/incomprehensible nature of your certain aspects of your last two comments, I’m not quite sure you’ll understand. Something tells me you did more than just indulge in a few “surf” sessions while you were at Hash Point!
If Lazer is but an ingrown hair on the ball sack of Blasphemy Rottmouth, then what does that make me?
Lewis, When Phil Macca gets round to ‘wording’ you up( yes rural New South Wales is EXACTLY like Compton circa ‘91)he’ll probably drop on you that P.Diddy Now insists on being referred to as ‘Puff Dad.’ Which is true. Bless old Puff Dad’s cotton little socks eh.
Deano’s cutback is still the best in the business shamone!
I quit!
It’s been weeks since I got the comment of the Weak and now there’s some real talent being added. Pretty fucked up Lewis, shouldn’t we have a hall of fame or something to designate that I am a past champion?
Decided that I am moving to Georgia, free golf and warm hush puppies.
@ Shawn Briley
If that is your real name. Everyone knows the real Shawn Briley smokes unfiltered reds.
@Shawn Briley
Or should I say… @Tim Boal?
There you go Dave Mailman, didn’t hurt a bit and a drug reference to give you some street cred. Cheers.
And Lazer’s butt plug jack off, he comboed Phil Mc Donald!
Yeah, Lewis! Mark is right! Let’s get a PostSurf comments ranking list going! We can all get together in SF for New Year’s Eve and have one damn fine sick and twisted PS awards banquet! Can’t wait to see BR’s tux, and to find out who Occy’s Mum will bring along as her date! Cote can host… just slip him a big bottle of booze and a few valiums, he’ll do great!
Mark,
You’re moving for…golf?!?? Now warm hush puppies I can get with. Mix in fried fish and some cole slaw and we’re getting somewhere. But golf?!!
Please tell me you’re not really moving to Georgia. I’m counting on a day or two on your couch next winter.
Thanks Lazer. Portugal is full of homos, but whatevs.
Not that anyone cares but Mark 5-25 at 7:12 p.m. and Mark 5-26 at 3:36 p.m. are not me. It is pretty obvious actually.
I am done. Moving to a place where there are more trees than people. I apologize for anything that I said on this site that was truly offensive. Especially the stuff about gays in San Francisco. I have friends who are gay and I was just being an idiot when I said what I said.
The reason I am done is I am so SICK of being underscored on Post Surf. Obviously commenters save their hardiest laughter and camaraderie for those who share their political beliefs. If I had some rocks and there was a tower filled with commenters I would go “ORFFFF” right now!
P.S. Maybe I will head down to Lowers in September and sit down next to one of you at the contest. Then again maybe I will just spend the summertime cuttin up logs for the winter.
You people suck! Mark at 3:58 is not me either.
I just put on my lp version of “The Way We Were” by Streisand. This is the worst day of my life.
P.S. Mark at 3:58 is the real deal. I hope he comes back some day.
The way we were….. well, that puts a nail in your coffin SJ.
Enjoy Georgia Mark, Go Bulldogs!
Sorry for the repeat, but Barbara Streisand?
Burn you Judy Garland collection while your at it Smyrna.
Sorry again, don’t burn it…. box Babs, Judy Garland and Peter Allen collections and send them to Dave Mailman. He’ll have a splendid time with his mates over tea.
Mark, if this is in fact you, please calm down. Listen, sometimes we all lose perspective and grow frustrated and angry. I get angry all the time. Sometimes my anger manifests itself by me burning the mother fucking place down. Other times I just let things go. Most of the time I just burn the fucking place down though.
Still, my point is nobody gave you a bad score today. And nobody talked politics today. We like you, Mark. I venture to say we even need you. Everybody may not agree with your politics, but we’re surfers. And that makes everything ok. Say it with me, everything is ok. Everything is ok.
For God so loved the world that he gave us Mark, that whomever shall agree with him and believe in Fox News shall not perish but have eternal country club life.
Wrong direction Mike. Headin north my friend. The wifes family is from the Oregon-Washington border area and she wants to be around them. I have surfed quite a bit up there and look forward to the change of atmosphere. Plus there is great golf and fishing.
Aloha nui loa Post Surf. I plan on getting lost in a cold jungleland. Goodbye Lewis.
Over/under on Mark’s return?
Mark 3:16 at 4:21 p.m. is not me. But it was kind of funny.
Wow. I definitely would have put it longer than 1 minute.
Wow, when Angry Villager is the voice of reason……
Please give a shout out to the esteemed author David Eggers, Mark. You’ll find him at Seaside if he isn’t typing his latest novel.
And quitting post surf? Dude, you’re going to need a ton of distractions up there in the woods. I know a new business you can help me with, some seeds and an autumn road trip to SF to unload.
Vegas… the house finally loses.
Sort of like Slater…
@BR
if barrels are the ultimate equalizer in surfing, that would make mom jokes the ultimate equalizer in PS commenting. and mark just got Aranburued. that of course would mean that you were the one who pulled the Aranburuing. shame on you.
“and also, if this were a surf comp, there’s Bob floating around on the inside, paddling a large inner tube with a spatula”.
hey, i resemble that remark!
-GT
People are envy that Kelly can pull 10,000 G’s out of his next title. I’m not. I wish he nailed it. But he must earn it.
Angry Villager with Pitchfork says:
“I am so ready to gather a violent, irrational mob and burn some shit down. But you guys give me nothing. Shame on you all”.
AVP, tonite. west hollywood.
i’ll meat you there.
-GT
lazer. DM,
This is, as Lewis describes it, a site “that features the writings of Lewis Samuels, and details the occasionally inspiring world of professional surfing”.
And since Professional surfing encompasses the likes of five, possibly more, publicly traded “surf” companies, it’s prudent to educate the potential rookie investors traveling the WQS, as to ALL the pitfalls and scams so prevalent in the league of stock boosting.
You know, just a bit of an “out the back”, heads-up?
Just incase some insider, or paid rump group members that front run for serious players is pumping such penny stock as ZQK or VCLM on Ihub and elsewhere.
@ Snips.
Post of the Week.
Bro.
Go Magic, a lot more entertaining than this post surf comment comp.
@ Bodhi
I was all wrong Bodhi: I should have bought a mask & joined your crew. You could have used a man on the inside. You could have remained ghosts. Aaaaggghhh - we could be chasing the 50 year storm of this century. Why did I turn you into the man?
“they’re just fucking dogs”.
Just checking in, but gotta get back to the game you bitches.
I doubt LeBron will get fined for checking into Postsurf unlike that halftime twitterer chude that plays for the Bucks did. You finally have some help tonight also LeBron.
Not just the ref’s either.
Comments just haven’t been much fun lately.
Mark, if your serious about that area, I know a few things about its waves.
Bucetas!!!!! Mother Fuckers!!
I will hide in the kelpy forests of Postsurf forever to protect Tiago and the República Portuguesa!! I will pounce like scaly scallop in heat!
Ride hard the giant squids!!!! Mother Fuckers!
@ Lazer 3:05: Recount granted. Score: 4.16. Score on actual demand for recount: 7.00 (two big hits, back to back, showing a lot more creavity. Might have scored higher but for the Irons/Garcia-style attack on the judging).
@Occy’s Mum 3:09: lucky sevens…I’ll take that every time.
@ Dave Mailman 3:08 & 3:21: You created the criteria. This makes you a senior judge, with full credentials in all situations. Since you gave Lazer a 6 for his second comment, his second-comment score drops to 6.50. Sorry Lazer, Mr. Mailman’s harsher than the delicious ham on a bagel.
@JBF 3:19: Your kind words will never influence the Hammy B. Score: 10.0
@Everyone…This is Snips heat to win. All he has to do is take off on a backup insider and it’s all over. Clock is ticking….
@ tiago’s linguica
yeah, I’ve been hiding in the scaly scallop, stinky brillo-pad, crab infested forest that is su madre’s chocha!!!!
Erik, be careful about Mark…. he is a security breach. You’ll cruise back up that way and he’ll be all side of the road selling maps to your secret spots! Just ask the bloke in Oz about Bali…..
Awwwww shit, I didn’t mean it Bammy, good luck brother. There’s AG opportunities up there, keep in touch PMark.
Dobb, stop pimping the penny stocks, the market is fixed and the bottom feeders (penny stockers) are the first eaten. There’s some seriously naive folks on board here and investment advice needs to be doled in small dosages to avoid catastrophe.
..and i introduced my giant squid to her brown starfish!!! Mother fucker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
David Stern will take a shit if Orlando meets Denver!
He won’t even have to issue a script to the ref’s once Kobe and LBron are gone.
The last time I ejaculated a comment on the pathetic bitch, I used the words “oragutan”(king kong plays with faeces) and “labia”(the stench of rottmouths mother’s). I find it most disturbing that I see these words repeated upon my respankulation. Lewis? BR? WTF? These aren’t the most obscure little nuggets, but it’s fucking sad when you start feeding off my plate. Thanks for fucking off! Just phelate me and be done with it.
Now what do they say about flattery?
Now trauzersnake steals starfish. Fuck you, fuck all of you!
Unless the refs cook this game…..
whoever’s pseudonym you are Goldie, it sucksberg.
Comments used to be about profanity and obscure references to pop culture. Now some fucking corporation moves in here and starts handing out scores? The fucking head judge (JB) gave an obsiqueous fuck named JBFan a 10 just for french kissing his starfish. It’s all about who you know now. Pre-packaged comments brought to you by pre-packaged “pro’s”.
It’s not about the commenting anymore.
Snips, kill these fucking dogs.
Questioning JBFan’s unbelievably awesome comment is going way too far. You’ve upset some very important people. Primarily myself and JBFan.
I’m sorry to say this, Goldberg, but we’re gonna have to fire you.
I am so proud to call myself a Floridian right now! Go Magic!
@ J.Utah
I AM a ghost you moron. I’m dead, remember? I died not in that little wipe out, but i died when i got out of Bells beach and a bunch of aussie blond chicks were waiting to meet me, after i got a few barrels on that tremendous ocean. Well, i had to fuck each and every one of their platinum-blonde sweet juicy pussies. They were thousands, and my legend only grew, so i had to fuck for three weeks straight, therefore i died of sexual fatigue. Just before i made all of those beautiful women to reach their best orgasms ever, a very important sex angel came down to earth and touched my cock, and it was when i became intensily heated up, transforming myself into some sort of special yellow energy-light and then i vanished into the space for a trip through the confines of the universe to know it’s intricate secrets.
Sorry Utah, i just can’t tell you what those secrets of the universe are all about, you made other choices. Even though jumping from that plane without chutes was pretty rad bro!
We rag on the judges and imply that they create the impression of impropriety. Time to give them some props…
The NBA is fixed. Le Bron got bailed out. Shaq got bailed out. Magic got bailed out. Michael got bailed out.
Surfing judges are comparatively gold…. objective gold.
Unless Macca gets a .77, then he got overscored.
“Cliffs on both sides”….must’ve paddled to new zealand
why the fuck would it matter if dane likes to take photos or do artsy shit, people need a life outside of surfing, being some jock fuck “training” and “working out” and ” being a professional athlete” will do nothing but ruin the progressive aspect of his surfing. it gets old and tired. you retards need to realize that surfing is not and never will be fucking football or baseball, god willing, surfing is its own sport. Dane is doing his own thing and blowing every trained corporate clothed pop out surfer out of the water
Wow, Bodhi,
I always wanted to know what really happened cause it didn’t look like Bells to me.
Do you even need that cock in heaven? God I hope so.
Dane is a corporate, clothed pop out surfer….
Snips: “you know dino, these are the best guys in the world….”
Dino: “_____________Ummmmmmm, uhhh, yeah…..these guys train really hard, they’re like, really hard trainers…..ummmmmmmmm”
Nooooooo! I can’t accept that Bodhi. I’ll be waiting to paddle out w/ you at the next 50-year storm. I am no longer an F.B.I. agent.
Mike sure does like to flap his fucking gums.
I’ll turn all 5′-6″ of dustin barca into a krispy kreme as he’s rolling to and fro on Tim Brown’s balls, i mean excercise ball
And I was rooting for Orlando.
And you haven’t HEARD a word, gator girl.
@ Tiago’s Linguica
I am officially pointing out ALL of my nuclear missiles to Portugal at this very moment. You mother fuckers ripped up Brasil riches and then gave everething to Britain buying their commodities. Fucking mongols! Now Portugal is one of the weakest economies of europe, jerks! But hey, when you needed to cover up from Napoleon all you assholes did was to run away to beautiful warm Brasil!!!
Besides, you have lame comments.
So, one special misile is point out to your mother’s house. And yes, i don’t care that half of my bomb would blow tiny Portugal out of the map already, you’ll have special treatment.
My first time checking out Post Surf. Heard a lot about Lewis and his harsh treatment of the pro surfers but I am shocked and amused at all of the people making comments.
Do you people surf? Are you into pro surfing? And what about this Blashemy Rottmouth guy? I guess the internet HAS changed the world.
Have to run now.
Cumbaya to all.
@ Trauzersnake
The Hawaiian Board of Tourism has now placed a travel restriction on your visitation to the State of Hawaii.
Da Hui has replaced Lewis’ photo on their most wanted list with your, well, appendage photo for threatening a diminutive member of the angry prison with surf club. Please report to customs before boarding your flight.
I’d call the Department of Homeland Security on you, but I can’t afford the toll charges for a call to Israel.
Mike is a fucking know it all. If you have it going on so good then why do you spend half your time flapping on Post Surf?
Too bad Mark bailed. At least he kept you in line.
@ Trausersnake.
We know where you live bitch. Bash Barca again and you will wish you had never HEARD of post surf.
@Mike
I’ll cover those guys in liquid pearl. They will see me in person, check back to that wanted poster, and in a slack-jawed response say, “you are huge.”
And I will say to my new friends… “Now where is this short, no tooth, bicycle short wearing little fairy”….Then I will cover the republic of portugal in my manchowder.
Two words.
Is Kim Jong Ill the leader of Brazil? I’m confused.
Looks like Mike got SCHOOLED by SmyrnaJeff.
@kalihiwai hitmen
make sure you wear your jizz-resistant slickers-it’ll look like d-day, or should i say j-day
Mark is my best friend, Smyrna.
He supports everything I write.
Just ask him.
Unless he’s covered in Trauser’s chowder….
Kill Devil Bill? Is that what you call game in Orlando, Smyrna?
Dude, go to sleep…
@ J.Utah
Poor Utah. You happen to forget that from heaven i can see everything. I’m omnipresent. I know that now you’re bald, fat and slow. You can’t surf squad! You couldn’t even duck dive a wave even if you wanted to. Actually, now the waves run you over. You are still in FBI, you just can’t say it, i know. Besides, with your current desk job, do you think i don’t know when you stick your finger into your ass and smells it? That’s disgusting bro! And Harper has demanded to fuck your arse now to keep your job and you kind of enjoys that idea now. Your greatest hope nowadays is that the next generation of Ex-Presidents to invade FBI headquarters and shoot you down, so you could die like a hero. Poor man.
Dude I am sure that Mark knows who the leader of Brazil is. Remember that story he told about standing in line at Foodland and that one Brazillian chick was in front of him yapping on her cell phone in that irritating language while everyone was pissed off waiting for her to pay for her food? That was some funny shit and it was very underscored on post surf.
Give the guy some credit.
Some of you are likened to a well known Portuguese expressão idiomática:
The guinea pig appear to have two tail and fluffy winker at same time.
Ja Ja JA!!! Take that you mother fucjers!
@Smyrna
If I remember my best friends story, and I think I do, Marks wife was in Foodland and overheard Brazillians making threats at Mark for some post that didn’t even mention Brazzo’s.
Next day, that asshole Lewis skewered JOB and Mark went into hiding.
If not for SurfPost, Mark would be a happy member of the North Shore community.
Now he’s moving to Meth forest. Please Jeff, be part of the solution, not the problem.
@ Mark
It’s Kim Jong-iI, not III. You got my name wrong, so a missile is pointed out to US now.
Linguicas comments annoyed me in far North Korea and Portugal has fucked up with Brasil, so i’m making justice with my own hands now er i mean, with my own bombs.
Hey, i train pretty hard too. Ten sets of thiry reps of cock-curls in my hammock as the tropical breeze whispers across my wrinkled t-baggs.
Gentlemen,
It looks to me like we have greatness in our midst tonight. I read Greg Tomlinson’s comments to be from none other than the real GT. And he’s wasted no time in calling out AVwP, challenging him to “meat” him in West Hollywood …tonight.
Since GT is my friend, I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt that he’s not into angry villager sex, never mind pitchforks.
Instead, I believe GT has challenged AVwP to a danceoff, a la Michael Jackson “Beat it!” style. That’s right. AVwP arrives with his mob, and GT with the Von Zipper crew. AVwP and GT tie hands and each is given either a pitchfork or a douchey pair of glasses and a sailor hat, depending on his preference, for his free hand.
The two then dance and manuever themselves into position for the kill all whilst Mark and Smyrna Jeff play dueling banjo solos in the background. This is all in lieu of the inevitable carnage that would result if the two gangs were to engage in actual douche-to-villager combat.
Tonight! West Hollywood.
Wow, Allan can do ten sets, I’m only up to eight.
Cool Snips, maybe Smyrna can cover the action for Surfer. Too edgy for TWS.
@ SmyrnaJeff
Do you know the difference between portuguese and spanish? Do you even care to know the difference?
@kalihiwai hitwomen.
hon, are you finished now?
now, get busy and clean my house.
and Brucie’s too.
Fuck off Bodhi and rob banks and talk about the 50 year storm.
Keep your fuckery on Oahu, Smyrna. We have a Lihue agent waiting for any possible arrival and coordinate our terror with Kalihiwai.
@Kim jong Il, we have the copy of “Wizard of Oz” at the will call desk. Kill devil bill tried to impersonate you, but his Star Trek outfit raised suspicion with security. Please have your ID ready.
@ tiago’s linguica
do you know the difference between a portugese and a bucket of shit?
THE BUCKET…..AHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAA!!!!!!!
Shut the fuck up turtle, you’re from a total different movie
@ Mike
Sorry about my buddy from the sunshine state. A Magic win and he gets all nuts.
Lewis I am doing my best to quit but I still enjoy reading comments.
Can’t you do anything to stop the idiot who keeps commenting in my name? Mark at 9:22 and 9:46 are not me.
Why can’t this loser get his own game? And if you are going to poach someone elses material why would you want it to be the least popular commenter on Post Surf? Get a life bro.
P.S. @ SmyrnaJeff at 9:31
You are busted dude. Mark never actually posted that comment about the foul mouthed Brazzo chick at Foodland. He thought it but it never made the cut.
And Mike. Is there a lot of meth in the northwest? I figured it was just a bunch of country boys sawing logs and ripping perfect lefts.
Please tell me you are joking.
Wow, what a cock fest tonight. I just wanted to say that Slater’s a big douchebag. Oooooh, he’s all deep and into Tesla. Like they even had that many good songs in the eighties. His time is up. Get the frick out and let some new blood do their thing.
He was a star and a great surfer. But now, he’s just a sad, sad corporation sucking douchebag.
I’m out. You guys enjoy your sword fights.
Damn, it is sooo hard to find good domestic help these days. At least that’s what my wifie tells me. Anyway, Pakala was way too far to import a decent cleaning girl. You are talking about a 3 hour commute, one way! And I’m sure not letting the help spend the freaking nite. Even if it was the garage.
That’s why I had to move to Malibu.
@ Mark
My sister used to live in Molino… gorgeous property and idyllic life. But there are some complications to that paradise.
She considers LA an escape.(?) I know, didn’t believe her myself until her neighbors came down for a visit.
Call me. No bullshit, brother. And it doesn’t matter if you are Smyrna… sometimes the jokes stop long enough to set the table. Peace.
@ Pakalas Hit Men
Do you people remember my early afternoon triple barrel the day before Hurricane Iwa hit in 1982? Just curious.
@ Mike
Done deal.
Alejandro,
I was pretty much finished with this thread, but your comment needs a quick rebuttal.
Kelly Slater is not a douchebag. He comes vetted by Michael Jordan; is zero degrees of separation from Bar Rafaeli, Cameron Diaz, Giselle Buttchin and Pamela Anderson pre-plastic lizard days; and has worked with Eddie Veder (whom I have gotten my impressionable young son to believe is the Tooth Fairy) as well as the interminable David Hasselhoff. THE HOFF, motherfuckërs! With this much fortune in his life, if he were a douchebag on top of it all, karma would have sent an escaped chimpanzee to rape him in the ear by now.
Has anyone heard Nancy O’Dell talking about a skull-fucking primate running rampant through Cocoa Beach? No? Okay then.
I flew out the following day and don’t remember your tube, though I scored in front of the village.
And it was ‘92 bro.
According to my math, the ümlaut trumps your áss any day.
‘92 was Iniki. I surfed Mala Wharf on Maui that day. I am referring to Iwa in ‘82.
Back to the QS for Mike.
Mike is correct, Mark.
Meth and mold.
But one could still enjoy it. Truth is there’s all kinds of shit no matter where you live.
It rains more than you realize. Seriously.
And during the rainy, stormy season daylight only last from like 8:00-4:00.
There are some decent waves though (and obviously, the one great wave too). Few crowds. Etc.
And Mike is right about the NW only keeping you on Postsurf more often. What’ll you do when its stormy and dark, or sunny (6am-10pm) and flat?
Mother Fucjer!
Acid Drops was so good that day, Mark.
Rifle ranges had shit sand banks and pakala’s was running swing wide, cruised back into town and found AD’s so freaking good.
Got on a fight with the ex wife and flew home to Newport. Iniki leveled the Island that night.
Bucetas!! I fake caring and to know things!! I don’t care about little scallop Postsurfers!
WHat I write to Mark I learn only of the Wikipedia!! Kim Jong-il now know I good spi to good to be bommed!
This a lesson to all. Leave me alone and Tiago and República Portuguesa!
You to trusersnakes!
I don’t know about no crowds, Linguica. The wave is good, but you’ve got one angry crew who isn’t really open to someone poaching…. especially if you know how to hit the lip.
You’ll be on PostSurf 24/7 just to keep your sanity, M. Considering Blasph, that isn’t a ringing endorsement.
Blasphemy Rottmouth has an impressionable young son?
Ooopppps, misspell.
My ex and I got into a fight over leaving such sick surf. Well, we fought alot…. in Kauai.
The romantic ideal of marrying a surfer eventually meets the reality of marrying a surfer.
Iniki was tame compared to that bitch, but I survived both…. well, I ran from Iniki. Ok, I ran from her too.
Like being released from prison….. or Oahu.
How about you guys slow down for a few seconds before you push “submit.” I can handle a typo or two? But sweet baybuh Bailzeebuhb, are you guys taxing my patience. Let’s keep this professional here folks.
This IS the most important surfing related site on the internet, after all.
Sorry Lewis for the spelling errors… I could blame the Coor’s, but the games long over.
Let us review.
P.Diddy’s poor cousin.
An old dog seemingly without any new tricks.
America’s version of the biggest midget in the game, a Chinese Lady Sovereign.
A Troll under a bridge.
And the biggest Chav of them all.
Got it. OK, fine.
Good nite now.
And BTW, your Mothers got a penis.
While I am most certainly NOT Lewis, I do have it on good authority that he is currently unemployed. However, he still scours the “Help Wanted” adds every morning while sipping his tea with the forked tongue that unspools itself every evening from his navel, looking for that elusive ‘Angel of Death’ position to open up.
Funny how Lewis once posted himself, only to be relieved of the duty by his award winning pseudonym.
Lewis Samuel writes brilliant threads and stands back while we hypothesize? Sorry Blasph, gig is up.
And your comment of the week awards are about as genuine as Jose Canseco’s records.
Mark did not threaten you, so you clowned him with comment of the Weak. He rose that flag in pride, but even Erik knew that was disingenuous.
You know how the funny drunk eventually turns sour?
Good night gentleman.
I hope Bottle gets a start at J-Bay. those long swooping bottom turns and off the tops will be huuuuge.
Jeremy needs to pile on about 15 pounds of muscle, then he’ll win a world title in 3 - 5 years. until then, he still looks like a local grommet. but he is a competition machine.
Mike, you know better… but you’re drunk. As am I. And hopefully Lewis, after he read my last few sharticles.
That said, the Swiss Cheese apparatus in my thorax, which I lovingly call my liver, tips a hearty glass of Jamison to you.
P.S.
Lobster Nutfuck:
Jeremy Flores surfs like a helium balloon trying to carve its way through a dump-truck full of Margarine.
Jeremy Flores surfs like a rice cake trying to submerge itself in a vat of molting dolphin cocks.
Jeremy Flores surfs like a Mark’s mother’s northwestern teet-mole in its epic and valient battle against gravity.
Jeremy Flores surfs like a writer who just typed typed the word ‘valient,’ and then realized he’d written the most retarded comment on this site. Perhaps ever.
From this point forward, all asshats who post with my name are glomming onto the silky gut flora of my colon without permission.
Lewis: You really do need to fix this problem.
End of the heat. Final results: 1. Snips, 2. Bodhi (missed the start but scored a few solid one’s, 3. Mark (because we need to keep him interested and don’t want him to move away!), Honorable mention: Tiago’s Linguica (still trying to figure out if this guy is really Portuguese…).
PS: Hey GT, thanks for your guest appearance! Nice to have you here! Hope you had fun last night with that Pitchfork guy!
My throbbing cock is about to explode
Lewis: You really do need to fix this problem.
Let me guess… the BR at 1:20 am is another impostor?
Wow. 175 comments of majority rubbish. I’m sensing a hungover crowd this morning. Moreover, for those of you naive girls thinking about moving up to the NW under some misguided fantasy that you can manifest your long lost youth by moving here, let me tell you something. You will never last. With that said, I wish you the best of luck. It will take you a decade or more (trust me) before you even scratch the surface, so you better start enjoying outside interests (like skiing), if you’re ever going to have the wherewithal to get dialed-in. Nothing personal, that’s just the reality. You’ll feel the same way once you’ve been through it. Until then, don’t forget to pack those skis and a beer for those of us who came before you.
Hungover on a Tuesday?!? What kind of lives do you people lead? No, seriously, I think everyone had a big weekend and are saving themselves for witty banter about the new Top 15. You’re right though, PacNW, when Snips snags the Commenter of the Day award, things are definitely lulls between the sets!
PS: No offense to the real Snips! In the eternally bodacious words of GT, “we’re good, my brother! Peace!”. OUT.
Similar to kielbasa but with its own unique flavor, Linguica is a mild pork sausage still manufactured according to an old Portuguese recipe. It is a fine blend of lean pork with a mixture of such basic spices as vinegar, salt, paprika and garlic. Stuffed into a natural casing, Linguica is then smoked until the special flavor and federally required temperatures are reached.
You are all ever so gay.
talk about fuckery. Lewis Lock the forums for two weeks and just let these heathens rot away while stewing over your daily posts without anywhere air their worthlessness. What a cool site gone bad with ego maniacs who like to hear themselves think.
when jeremy flores was 14 years old,kelly slater said that he surfed better than him at 14.
We should ask him what he thinks about jeremy at 20 years old, and compare again
jeremy flores is the new sunny garcia without the pounds
you said that twice and nobody cared either time.
you guys are nuts…
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