Monthly Archives: June 2009

On the ASP and Relevancy

This is a tale of two surfers, and two forms of surfing.
The ASP Brazil event kicked off a few days ago.  In the first heat of the event, Tim Boal beat Jordy Smith, 12.66 to 6.10.  Who knows what Boal did to beat Jordy - replays are not available.  You'll never know, unless you were [...]

Comment of the Week: TurtleGate

Comment of the Week goes to Jiggy Jig, who helped deepen the TurtleGate controversy by sharing his recollections of turtle-hunting on the North Shore in the 1960s.  See below.
As TurtleGate entered its sixth day, PostSurf's investigation uncovered further shocking revelations.
Big wave legend Greg Noll, in a 1997 Surfer's Journal article, revealed the existense of a [...]

PHOTO DISPATCH: John S. Callahan

JS Callahan was kind enough to share with PostSurf these iconic photographs from an era passed, along with his recollections:
"15 images of Olde School North Shore Power Surfing.
Men were men, waves were big and mean, and turns were done with the rail buried. Nary a little kid, an air nor a tailslide to be seen.
Lunatics [...]

Laird’s Ego Nearly Spans America

Honestly, I'm still trying to piece together what this fuckery is all about.
I was unaware of it up until this morning, when I came across this headline on "CAR ACCIDENT STOPS TEAM SURFING USA; Race Across America Screeches [...]

TurtleGate Day3: Michael Jackson Dead!!

As TurtleGate enters Day Three, TMZ is reporting that Michael Jackson is dead.  Shortly after 3pm, on the live NSSA webcast, Peter Mel confirmed this report.

"Michael suffered a cardiac arrest earlier this afternoon at his Holmby Hills home and paramedics were unable to revive him. We're told when paramedics arrived Jackson had no pulse and [...]

Sell-Out of the Week: Drew Brophy!

Big news: Surf Artist Drew Brophy has been crowned PostSurf's Sell-Out of the Week!
Like almost everyone else who works in the surf industry, this whorish schemer has hopped into bed with corporations in order to extend the glide.  Don't be hatin' - we all do it!  Difference is, Drew Brophy does it like a porn [...]

TurtleGate: Day Two

As TurtleGate enters its second day, PostSurf has uncovered shocking new evidence that the surf industry takes itself waaaaaaaaaay too seriously.
Despite not being a journalist, I have managed to assemble the following timeline of events:
Friday 19th June: Aussie charger Andrew Mooney (virtually unknown in America) and friends attempt to rape sea turtles in Mexico.

Saturday 20th [...]

Yes, but are those eco-friendly boardshorts?

As mentioned in the "Pro Surfer Type 58" post, until a pro surfing Carolus Linnaeus emerges from the shadows to end debate about the order of pro surfer species, we’ll have to muddle through classification efforts on a case-by-case basis.
Enviro-Pros are already a well established, flourishing pro species.  These gentle, cunning creatures compensate for a [...]

Brazil Preview: Almost Journalism!

If the ASP thought outside the box, a surf contest in Brazil could achieve the same shiny pink, saccharine, end-of-days entertainment value that Reality TV provides.

Picture this: The Top 45 descend on a sport-crazed, surf-fanatical melting pot, surrounded by small mountain ranges of coke and the hottest g-stringed women on earth. [...]

Comment of the Weak

I remember it like it was yesterday. It was one of those defining moments in my life.

I was standing at my office window, checking the surf, and thumbing through the latest issue of Transworld Surf. It was a self-congratulatory anniversary issue – celebrating 10 years or 100 issues or something like that. [...]

Photo Dispatch: Shaping Memories

In my youth, I was a surf travel ascetic. No technology. No cameras. I was there to experience the moment – not document it. I wanted to see holistically – instead of deal in the outright lies and half-truths that kodachrome froze in 1/1000th of a second. It was an era before [...]


It's back to reality for me starting next week.  Off the road, behind the monitor, staring at "real work" instead of "PostSurf," billing hours instead of being billed.
As a consultant, my professional life has the binge and crash rhythms of Amy Winehouse's personal life.  I stay up late doing everything infront of me, become increasingly [...]

Preemptive Strike: Necessary defense against Groms?

How much longer can responsible, red-blooded American adult surfers afford to stand idle while Groms Attack?  Is a preemptive strike justified to defend ourselves from future attacks?
Surfline (a media outlet well known for giving readers "the honest reporting they deserve") has documented multiple cases When Groms Attack: Puerto Rico, Hawaii, San Clemente, Cabo, Fiji... why [...]


This year's Olivia Newton-John is Owen Wright.
So far in 2009, Wright has won nearly every Pro Junior he's entered, beat Dane and Kelly at Bells, and now Simple Owen leads the WQS ratings after winning the Maldives event.
According to the ASP's press release, "It was a monumental, high-scoring Final, described by numerous ASP officials at [...]

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