It's probably time for the comments section of PostSurf to receive some kind of overhaul. Like the ASP, it's a broken system that teeters on the verge of brilliance one moment, only to devolve into shameful hate-mongering seconds later, and worse yet, descend into pithy irrelevance moments after that.
In the world of PostSurf, there is no greater sin than boring your audience.
With the sheer amount of words generated on this site each week, I fear we all sin on occasion.
So comment of the week goes to Mr. Gary Leonardi, who, as far as I can tell, has only commented once on this site.
Mr. Leonardi was stirred to write after viewing an admittedly irrelevant photograph of Australian birds that I included in my Drew Courtney post.
Gary Leonardi says: June 1, 2009 at 12:27 pm
WHAT KIND OF EXOTIC AUSTRALIAN PARROTS ARE THOSE??? I LOV E BIRDS AND ALL EXOTIC ANIMALS ESPECIALLY MY AFRICAN GREY PARROT THURSTON. DO YOU LIKE EXOTICS? I USED TO HAVE AN IGUANA NAMED CEASAR BUT IT DIED OF A SINUS INFECTION. I WANT A MONKEY BUT I HEAR THAT THEY ALSO GET RESPITORY INFECTIONS AND THAT SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO DOMINATE THEM PHYSICALLY OR THEY BITE.
Like an ASP judge, I'm sure I'm being cursed right now for my idiocy. Gary Leonardi? Kanye-esque all caps? Parrots? Well, Leonardi's last sentence earned him victory: the most relevant metaphorical life-advice I've ever heard.
(And, perhaps, in the wake of last week's COTW choice, Mr. Leonardi actually used his real name. If so, I'd like to think this is his , and he is in fact a middle-aged english comic. Perhaps his " video is an ode to Aritz Aranburu.)
One can dream.
Speaking of dreams: Who doesn't want a pet monkey?
I offer you this video of monkeys participating in watersports as my closing argument.
Heil Lewis!
soooo, this has nothing to do with anything about this post but i have been reading postsurf for awhile and even waste time reading the comments. just thought i would say that if you want to get on here and complain about what lewis is writing about and say he should write about something else and blah blah blah, then why don’t you just not frequent his site and read interesting stuff about the surf industry, sport, and culture somewhere else.
“steps down from his soap box, squats, and poops. doesn’t even wipe, and continues his day”
dick draggers suck…
Here’s what a monkey can does when left undominated.
Being bitten is my destiny.
Go Lakers you silly bitches.
Monkeys are for spanking. Well, gorillas in my case.
Careful Sir Lewis.
After few weeks of stratospheric projections, your Alexa and Compete unique user rankings are already dipping into the toilet.
Soon, you may be hanging as low and limp as a trauzersnake sparrow’s nest.
Lewis I have been speaking with some of my fellow commenters and we have decided to form a union. Management ( that is you Lewis ) cannot just decide to overhaul the comments section on its own without consulting us.
After volleying back and forth via e-mail with Ron Geddelfinger of the U.A.W. I have developed some guidelines that are acceptable to us. I will have a list of demands ready for you within a day or two.
You should know that we have the full backing of the federal government and our President and saviour Barrack Hussein Obama.
Sincerely,
Mark
The monkeys skiing behind the boat proves what everyone has secretly thought, but never publically expressed, about Laird Hamilton’s escapades.
I have obviously bored Samuels to death with my tales of Bobby Martinez’s unwavering penchant for painting a dirty sanchez on his competitor’s face the night before a heat.
It’s all true.
Just ask Freddy P.
I would say that Taj surfs more like Quasimodo than Aritz. Taj looks like he suffers from inverse scoliosis when he attacks a wave.
Aritz simply surfs like a ritz cracker… plain & bland; but with just enough salt to make your canker sore flare up if you’re not careful.
I once had a ‘respitory’ infection after I accidently ingested two pints of Mike Parson’s discarded planter’s wart cream.
Thankfully, Mike doesn’t have to worry about dominating anyone in bed physically with Gerr delicately spooning his fragile carcass.
Did anyone see me at the Laker game tonight?
I was the one passionately frigging Nicholson’s chair-legs during timeouts with my pronounced freckles.
I have been appointed union rep for United Post Surf Commenters local #69
Our first demand is that Lewis produce at the very least 4 quality posts a week. He cannot expect us to continue rehashing crap like bodyboarders in Austrailia over and over.
Our second demand is that whenever a low caliber commenter such as Matthew or Bay st. or Jamon Bagel makes a comment we, as a union, have the right to ban said comments.
Our third demand is that, during times of heavy commenting such as the evening after Lewis puts up his Power Rankings, commenters with the most seniority have their comments posted in color as opposed to black and white. We feel that how long you have commented is more important than the quality of your comment. I learned that one from Geddelfinger himself.
Mr. Samuels I sincerely hope that you take us seriously. A comment strike is something that would benefit no one including yourself.
Good day sir.
I reckon we oughta let this comment board remain as a blank canvas… ready and willing to receive the wrath of the random reader’s collective spooge-filled rectal-refuse; ala Jackson Pollock.
Or, just delete all the comments that start with Mo and end with Rey, so we can run a Surfline-esque gestapo.
Frothing Slab of Fuckery. All we ever were, all we’ll ever be. Desperate to lay out our manifesto of confusion, and to who? You? Pfftttt.
What about my rebutal to mr. leonardi. I should’ve be the COTW. Friggin bullshit. This site is so bias. Anti hawaiian, anti gay, anti christian fuckery. Well that’s just wrong!
“@Gary Leonardi
Go to some fucking petting zoo site if you want to chat about parrots. In fact, go fuck your monkey and spread aids to other faggots like yourself.
Stay the fuck off Post Surf brah. It’s for surfing. For surfers not no pet fuckers brah!
This is our turf. Stupid barney!”
We would like to see a Lewis commentary on the crappy Brazil contest. Ditching fickle pickle Mundaka is understandable, but even having Brazil in there in the first place is a joke. Who are the powers and players behind this nonsense?
We should pose the question- How many pros will get sick, have family matters, or some other proverbial dog ate my homework schtick for Brazil this year?
Who gives a shit? Lewis is right. This place needs a good shake up. After all, it’s been at least two or three weeks since Lewis lobbed a Alex Knost post up for us.
Every time the Master of Mediocrity (hi Mark!) insults me, it makes my meaty middle layer swell up with pride.
This is a great post and makes me think of where I can fit in. I do a little bit of everything mentioned here and I guess I have to find my competitive advantage.