As mentioned in the "Pro Surfer Type 58" post, until a pro surfing
Enviro-Pros are already a well established, flourishing pro species. These gentle, cunning creatures compensate for a lack of surfing prowess by leveraging a genuine (or convincingly acted) concern for the environment. Formerly succesful pro surfers who can't do rodeo flips have been known to embrace enviromental causes, instead of having their aging bodies dragged into snuff film ledges.
Dolphin-petting photoshoots are easier on the knees than tow-ins at Jaws.
As one pro surfer species successfully leverages a swelling trend to find success in the industry ecosystem, a unique opportunity is created for even less-talented pros: they can exploit the backlash against a trend.
Case in point: The Anti-Enviro Pro. While Enviro Pros marry glorified dugongs and then carve alaias from reclaimed bits of driftwood, all the while wearing recycled boardies, Anti-Enviro Pros use up as much petroleum as possible.
Anti-Enviro Pros jump on carbon-costly flights at the first hint of a swell, and then use SUVs to tow their PWCS to the beach, where PWCs tow them into hell-waves on PUs made in China.
Aussie Andrew Mooney is raising the stakes when it comes to being an Anti-Enviro-Pro. Burning up our planet's resources and fucking our grandchildrens' future by towing in at Shipsterns (as seen below) is just the tip of the iceberg for Mr. Mooney.
Enviro-Pro-bros might whine that Mooney is scaring away endangered sea life via his "extreme" PWC shenanigans.
Yet Mr. Mooney, seemingly unsatisfied with scaring gentle sea creatures unintentionally via tow-surfing, has raised the stakes significantly via a new pursuit:
Extreme Mexican Turtle Harassment.
I'm not a marine biologist, but I suspect chasing a sea turtle with a fishing boat, then jumping off said boat in an attempt to wrestle said turtle into submission may be stressful for the turtle.
Just a hunch. (As for identifying the species of turtle, I believe it's an Olive Ridley - currently
Editor's Note: Mr. Mooney has removed the video of himself and friends violating sea turtles from his vimeo account. Very mysterious... Nothing shouts "not guilty" louder than destroying evidence...
If you can't do rodeo flips like Jordy Smith, towing death-Shippies and raping sea turtles is an admirable path to notoriety.
One suggestion: up the ante by encorporating "spit the winkle," carved ivory fins, and boarshorts made from genuine panda fur.