This is a tale of two surfers, and two forms of surfing.
The ASP Brazil event kicked off a few days ago. In the first heat of the event, Tim Boal beat Jordy Smith, 12.66 to 6.10. Who knows what Boal did to beat Jordy - replays are not available. You'll never know, unless you were in Brazil, or watching the bare-bones webcast before the dawn in California.
Perhaps this is only fitting, as Tim Boal is a bit of a mystery man. What I can tell you: So far, in his rookie year, Boal has beat top-ranked surfers such as Fred "Pistachio" and Jordy Smith. Now Boal's rated =25th in the world, same as Kelly Slater.
That ought to be enough to gain a young surfer a bit of recognition, yes?
No. At least not in America.
Case in point: Surfline just ran an article, about Redbull's Mentawais Trip. Tim Boal and Jordy Smith were both on the trip, along with 11 other pro surfers.
In the opening slide, a group photo (see below) Surfline lists the names of all the surfers on the trip, from Kolohe Andino down to Peruvian grom Cristobal de Col. Everyone is accounted for... except poor Tim Boal. They identify that poor custard pudding bastard as "unidentified."
That shows you just how much Boal's heat win over Jordy Smith was worth.
Meanwhile, Jordy Smith has recently received the most press any surfer has gotten since Slater won number 9. The media frenzy had nothing to do with heat wins. It had everything to do with performance surfing: Jordy's rodeo flip clip earned the youngster (and Redbull) coverage from nearly every site out there -- from blogs to , to . Perhaps most interestingly, Jordy's flip made it to the Yahoo.com homepage via .
As a result, the clip has gotten 1,781,218 views on GrindTV alone. For reference, Josh Sleigh's kickflip on got 5,571 views - and those are big numbers for Transworld.
It's safe to say that Jordy Smith won that round against Tim Boal. While Jordy's air reached millions, barely anyone else even seems to have noticed that Boal was on the trip. Surfline apparently doesn't even know who Tim Boal is.
Cynics might scoff that this post is simply a chance to mock Surfline for their oversight, and then mock them some more for running a story about the Redbull Mentawais trip, when everyone else already ran that sponsor-fed story two weeks ago.
But my point is simply this: With this latest coma-inducing ASP event, the ASP is making the most convincing arguement yet for the ASP's irrelevancy.
Well, of course I’m first…
While we’re on the topic, why are Jordy’s nipples so fucking close together?
You would think someone would have initiated some research to avoid such a blatant disrespect. 25th in the world and anonymous in relation to Connor Coffin? Kinda like prosecuting just Lyndie England for a massive torture photo op…. can’t you just see her pulling all the strings, a private no less!
It probably would have been no more difficult than calling Red Bull, but I guess Sean Collins was too busy whipping the southern half of the state into another swell alert frenzy.
There goes my surfle writing career…..
They really need to re-think all aspects of the Brazil contest. And in general, 5 weeks between events just serves as a buzz kill.
Who are those losers surrounding Tim Boal?
PacNW: please elaborate on your first statement.
@ RN
(i) as stated, 5wks too long beforehand
(ii) website AND coverage improvements requested
(iii) is that the best break in Brazil? (no disrespect looks fun, just outdated on the ‘dream tour’).
I think it makes perfect sense to have an event in Brazil, it is just harder to get excited for this contest than any other for reasons above.
PacNW: Points taken for the website and the coverage. Not that I particularly enjoy listening to the pros’ comments during the other contests but I do feel sorry for the poor chap having to comment by himself for hours on end at this contest (although I missed day 2 so I’m not sure if that was still the case). The website is really crap: I haven’t been able to access any videos of individual heats, although I might have missed something there too. Re. the break, I’ll hold my judgment until the end of the contest and the swell that’s supposed to hit at the end of the week. It may not be the best spot but it’s not Japan either.
Overall the attitude of both sponsors and pros toward Brazil has been very condescending. Given their consistent presence and performances during the past 20 years or so, it seems to me that Brazilians deserve better. At least KS seems to think so since he showed up when nobody really expected him to.
RN: By coverage, I don’t mean only the commentary (btw, Slater was in the booth much of Rnd2 - hopefully he returns to the mic after a win next round too). I also mean the lack of general coverage (presumably because of a lack of funding or interest by the sponsor). Look, if GT and Occy can spend an hour a day on a sleepy island in the South Pacific waxing nostalgic about sunsets and rainbows, I would bet my left nut it wouldn’t take a Pulitzer to put together an entertaining expose in (frickin!!!) Brazil. Seriously, how much can Cote’ cost? Pay for his plane ticket and bar-tab and tape him referring beach volleyball when the contest is off. It is doesn’t have to be the best contest to be a great event.
PacNW hits on something as does Nixon…. Where is the ASP continuity? Why not pay Chris Cote, for example, to announce each event, someone consistent to build on their product? Second, 5 weeks to an anitclimatic venue does take the steam out of everyone, especially on an abbreviated schedule.
The ASP needs to produce these events from top to bottom. Same quality each event. We’ve all read that Dave Mailman volunteers commentation, how much could Dave really cost in the scheme of things? Trouble is, this would have had to have been addressed during more liquid times and the departed ASP president is guilty of gross long term failure.
Two halves to the season in quick succession with a considerable break between JBay and Trestles. West Oz, Fiji, Indo, Puerto, Santa Cruz need to be part of an interesting tour. Brazil should mean Fernando. What “beach crowd” loss may be sustained and the subsequent festivals would be replaced by a TV commitment and a year end compilation on DVD. Something worth watching.
Considering every wave lasts 6 seconds, you could show every scoring wave of an entire contest in a neat 60 minute format including commercials.
But that would require leadership…. thanks Rabbit.
There has been a general shunning of Brazil from the surfing “establishment” ever since the late 70’s, due to the fact that Brazil has its own parallel surfing industry. Comparatively to its population and to the fairly large interest in the sport, the (anglo) surfing industry has had slim returns in Brazil. I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of people associated with the Oz / Cal surf industry (90 % of the people whose mugs or names appear in Surfer / Surfing / TW Surf / Surfline) were advised not to associate (beyond competing) in the Hang Loose-sponsored event. Just a hunch.
ps… Sydney hosted some of the most dramatic events in history at Narrabeen. Colin Smith and Banksy had a city on it’s toes, as did Barton, Kong, Anderson, Bainy and even pinball machine Hardman.
And eliminate surfers who can’t qualify from competing, sorry wolfpackies. Pipe is a joke, 16 wildcards determining a title they can’t qualify for.
The Pipe crew have a great contest in February to showcase their talents, let the conjecture begin. Maybe we could lure JOB onto the real stage and off Daddy’s couch. Testing his ego against the peers that would validate his impression of himself.
Dane is dust.
Mike: having ASP-produced commentary would be a good start. And a restraining order keeping AI within 200 ft of the microphone.
That is 200 ft AWAY from the microphone.
ASP commentary booth….. Mailman (Al Michaels) as the straight guy despite the obvious irony, Cote as the irreverant (Kornheiser) , Occy as the expert (Madden).
Produced a year end anthology commentated by a Vin Scully-esque Chris Mauro and you have a colllectable with enduring interest that i would buy.
But like Obama, incremental changes feel so very familiar when the whole system begs to be blown up. In Surfings case, what risk would total change really present? None, it is already failing.
I nominate myself for ASP president, my continuous campaign will now commence and I pledge to be as insufferable as I will be self promoting. Yes I can!
PS, I’ll perform the duty dirt cheap as long as I can surf all the venues from dawn until 8 alone. Now that’s a campaign platform you should vote for.
And by dirt cheap I mean six figures and per diem.
i want my surfermag in the mail. that thing is taking forever.
May I introduce My Presidential staff…
Blasphemy Rottomouth, President of Vice
Lewis Samuels, Press Secretary
Jamon Bagel, Director of Catering
Erik, Education Czar
Mark Jones, Travel Secretary
Stu, Finance Manager
God, Director of the office of the Travel Secretary
Trauzersnake, Directory of Party Favor Acquistion
Lazer, Director of Corporate Registry
Jiggy Jigg, Secretary of State
MakuaGaiRothman, Defense Secretary
AI’sDealer, Drug Czar
And Isreal as Director of Homeland Security
Basically a total change from Obama except Homeland Security
how small is DeSouza?? dang. i thought i was a short little puerto rican. but no. not compared to him. (yes i know he is a brazo)
Mike, you forgot me.
With the time between ASP event, I would make the perfect travel Secretary.
We could all travel via my burro.
Mike, sez,
“Mailman (Al Michaels) as the straight guy despite the obvious irony”…
Post of the Year!
Does this new position allow me the freedom to stick in cigar in any unsuspecting female intern’s scratch hole?
And by ‘intern,’ I mean Alana Blanchard.
Fuck spelling. I’m drunk.
I know it may not be relevant, but those pictures of Alana in her thong make my groin hap-hap-happy. She brings a smile to my penile, so to speak.
When she stands with her legs together there’s still that little triangular sliver of space you can see through; I love that. My craven fetish is to insert a plastic spatula sideways into said space and whackita-whackita-whackita until I get tennis elbow. Pound her cakes? Yes I would.
With that thought in mind, I accept my position as President of all things Vice… except for Miami. To the best of my knowledge, Miami’s just home to all that is unlawful and carnal. And I cannot abide by that.
Time to hit the campaign happy trail!
May I address my constituency…
Blasphemy Rottmouth shall “test” Alana Blanchard’s qualifications to visit my office, may his inspection be as consummate as the job requires and I thank him for his “hard work” in advance.
Taj’s Burro, I have your resume’ catalogued, but God was fairly influential in my decision to give Mark a position to fuck up. Please remain at the ready. In the interim, you may assist me with Marijuana procurement, to keep it out of the public’s access. I fear your travel arrangement may be slower than the ASP’s interest level and we need to accelerate the process…. meaning a pious intervention despite whatever intermediary I deem necessary.
Yes, Blasphemy…. we shall read all pertinent documents through the gap between Alana’s silky upper thighs, I proclaim.
So nice to have my staff in such agreement.
And I need to introduce my personal assistant, Mrs Luke Stedman. Please allow us some time to “acclimate” to her new position while Luke avoids the steeper part of the tour (Tahiti).
What’s my role Mike?
I’d tap Alana.
Yep, Imbituba is a good break, but not really “Dream Tour” material. Alternatives?
(1) Run the event in February at Fernando de Noronha Island, which has been talked about but conflicts with the ASP calendar;
(2) Run the event on the Araguari River “pororoca” (bore), which gets big goes for a mile:
(3) Move the event to Rio or Floripa and just run a giant ASP bikini contest, with no surfing whatsoever (good for Alana Blanchard’s ratings).
Crockit and Tubbs, I pronounce you Co Directors of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Your first tour of duty is to ascertain why Waterman of the Year, Quiksilver CEO has not supported proportionaltely any environmental cause and why Volcom’s ex echo Beach art director…..errrrrr, Quiksilver number 3 lives in fabulously wealthy absentia in Montecito. That should keep you both busy and well compensated.
Then you can tap Alana, but not until Blasphemy has his “assistant” sufficiently up to speed. It’s all about building talent boys and Rottmouth’s job is serious business.
Any more applicants?
Can we please limit the number of comments Mike makes a day?
Yes we can!
BTW Mike.
You couldn’t handle Mrs. Steds.
I’m so serious about my job, I just mentally raped three Real Dolls® and a couple of Snapper dredgers after typing the letters JOB.
And Tim Boal is my Director of the Central Intelligence Agency. His anonymity despite obvious talent is the perfect recipe to international espionage acumen. I’d name Dane Reynolds to the position because he has so much free time, but he’s a poster boy for over exposure and Jordy has eclipsed the eventual construction laborer’s relevancy.
Sometimes surfing well isn’t enough and the young guns peripheral gang are hungry. Wake up Dane, your replacements are trying.
@Fidel
Don’t you have a roof somewhere to pluck your little instrument on? And by ‘little instrument’… ahhhh fuggit. You nowhutimean.
Thanks Fidel, Israel would you please back track Fidels comment and send his dossier to Blasphemy? Thank you, Patriotic Patriarch. In Israel we trust.
I know how to KEEP elected.
@ Mike
12 comments in 4 hours.
And a jab at the man who has taken this sport to the next level, Rabbit, to boot.
Take a breather buddy. And lay off Rab. That guy is my hero.
@ Blasphemy Rottmouth
We have records of your sick and twisted sojourns into the bowels of Havana.
And Blas. The girls I spoke to said they weren’t too impressed.
Mike,
What’s my appointed cabinet office?
I would nominate Bobb Dobbs as Czar of the Spelling and Grammar Department if I were Prez…
… I think we all would thoroughly enjoy those repercussions.
Fidel:
Quien es el Señor Mike? Es un cabrón?
@Fidel,
I realize the girls weren’t impressed with my ball & gag collection… but after the ether set in, they didn’t seem to mind.
And neither did you mom after I plied her gratuitous figure with a snak-pak of chocolate Donut-Gems carefully placed in a tie-dyed fisting sling.
Presidente Fidel:
El Señor Rottmouth es un GRAN cabrón:
Mi Madre es muy Bonita Sr. Rott.
And she requires a little more ” substance ” than you can offer. From what I hear.
@Fidel,
“Mi Madre es muy Bonita Sr. Rott.”
I know… Oh, how I know.
And that’s why I always bring her a few extra Twinkies to satiate her famished tummy. The moment that sugar rush invigorates her hardened arteries, the yawning cave betwixt her thunderous thighs snaps shut like a Venus Fly-Trap gargling Smyrna Jeff’s mother’s testicles… making our coitus feel like the first time… every time.
‘Tis a beautiful thing to experience.
But, then again, you already knew that didn’t you. Tell me, how does sloppy seconds feel NOW, bitch!
Sorry i commented. I won’t be back asshole.
@Fidel,
Awe, C’mere, let’s cuddle. It’s only gay if you cud…
…wait.
Lewis can kiss my business goodbye if this guy Rotto stays around.
I will take my money elsewhere.
@Fidel,
Don’t worry, I only stop by a few times when called upon… like Cthulu.
You’re free to roam about the website in the meantime.
Peace be unto thee.
I just googled Cthulu. I for sure won’t be back on this site now.
And you aren’t gay if you don’t make eye contact.
It gets worse for Tim:
Blasphemy Rottomouth, fag
Lewis Samuels, cool
Jamon Bagel, fag
Erik, fag
Mark Jones, fag
Stu, fag
God, fag
Trauzersnake, fag
Lazer, fag
Jiggy Jigg, fag
MakuaGaiRothman, fag
AI’sDealer, fag
@ waste of breath
Hi Lewis. Are you hammered right now? I thought so.
And what about Mike?
Little known fact. The Hobgood brothers were in fact born as siamese twins, joined at the head. It seems a chunk of brain was left on the operating table.
surfline is reading postsurf
just check it out
they have corrected it
freaking hilarious, love it. Yes surfline has a problem, they need to get their sh#& together and figure out who they are and what they want to be and stick to that. Online Magazine? Contest Promoters? Surf Forecasts and reports?
Lewis - Tim Boal hurt himself on the 1st day of the Red Bull trip at Greenbush and took 21 stitches to his head… He had to sit and watch for the majority of the trip but didn’t complain. Tiago Pires got hurt as well - same session. Jordy definitely ended up getting the most coverage but not because anyone was biased - they simply had B level clips from these guys at the tail end of the trip and A level clips of the other people on the trip. It is hard to evenly distribute coverage with 12 surfers on the trip!
Back to the Tim Boal Secret Agent movie.
Someone needs to get on this.
Pro Surfing plus espionage plus ILM effects = box office gold.
Very true the NSSA was way more entertaining than the Brazil event.
In fact the Pier Pressure contest, even without waves, was more fun to watch.
The ASP site for this contest is horrible. There are no highlights - nothing. Super lame. I can’t believe Slater even went.
Tim Boal didn’t have time to surf . . . he had other issues to attend to . . .
For the record: “unidentified” has been struck from the photo caption on Surfline’s “Surfing Disneyland” article, and Tim Boal’s name has been added to the list of surfers’ names.
Tim Boal is so suave, i’d give him a License to thrill me anytime! Voulez-vous coucher avec moi surfing 007 xoxo
keep your eyes on this year’s brazil contest.
there is some swell coming and vila will get pretty massive.
I agree with the commenter that we need more contests. Like 20 to 30 contests per year to keep it interesting.
we already have over 20-30 contests per year if you add the QS, they have some pretty stellar events well worth watching
…and where’s Tim’s french accent eh?!!! nowhere to be found..mysterious? yes. very much so. He lived in the Caribbean you say?hmmm I lived in the Caribbean..what does know he that I don’t? anyway REPRESENT M*THRFUCKER
just another hurricane rider.. HA!
they have since corrected “unidentified” to “tim boal”… Looks like Luis is still working for Surfline wether he likes it or not (as a proof reader) haha
Tim Boal also lived in Australia & speaks English with an Oz accent! add that to the mystery. Plus he won fantasy sufer in 07. Lewis we can you interview Special Agent Boal for postsurf.
@ fasi
I’m not sure that anyone was suggesting more contests (maybe Mike?). All else being equal, I would personally not agree that more contests are needed. My original point was that there needs to be less time between.
How hard would it be to move to a ‘playoff’ system for the contests? For example, the top 44 start the season and at some point the bottom performers start getting cut. Every other sport that comes to mind decides champions this way.
Granted, this would put more weight on the last few contests. But, isn’t that what everyone is hoping for at Pipe anyway - to have the champion decided in the last contest? Why leave it to chance? Just re-rig the contest value structure, and they can have it happen every year.
@ Perfect Lefts:
Read 5 posts above yours.
Tim Boal also won the 2007 Fantasy Surfer.
Is this a chat? You all sure know to keep busy.
Thanks god you’re doing some important and positive stuff here!
Can’t wait to see surfing better thanks to you guys. You rule
@Postsurf fanatic
Well said. Come to think of it, everything is perfect and nothing could be improved. Ahhh. I for one feel much better now. Thanks god for your pointed contribution. Now get back to being webmaster for Hangloose.
“As a result, the clip has gotten 1,781,218 views on GrindTV alone.”
That and a dollar will buy you a Coke.
This is all sidebar. What should concern us is the state of Jordy’s nipples. They are nowhere close to symmetrical. The right nip is practically in the middle of his sternum. And the left is far too close to the right. Sort of the inverse of the skank trapped between the Hamiltons.
All of this leads me to one of two conclusions. One, Jordy is in fact a robot sent back through time on a mission to rodeo his way through as many anal cougars as robotly possible. If you are to believe this theory, you must be willing to accept that the disymmetry was an oversight by Jordy’s futuristic creators. The second, and less probable scenario is that Jordy has had work done, which is to say, implants.
Let the debate ensue…
I will add that if my first theory is correct, I have hope for our future. I like the way those guys think.
This site sucks.
One cool thing about surfers where I live ( Long Island New York! ) compared to California, Florida or Hawaii surfers is we are down to earth. We don’t troll on stupid internet sites talking shit all day. If we aren’t surfing we don’t sit around talking about it. We just eat pizza and drink beer.
Fidel said,
“Lewis can kiss my business goodbye if this guy Rotto stays around”.
“I will take my money elsewhere”.
Your money?… YOUR MONEY?
you mean all the money you stole over the decades from “your” people.
Well, at least Barry-O is making it easier for you. As he’s recently legalized the movement of cash money to AND from Cuba.
Ring up Western Union. Pronto.
@Sal Pacino
It must be so nice to know you have that one cool thing.
Otherwise, we’d really feel sorry for you.
I can believe Slater went.
ZQK buys very xpensive debt to stay alive and renews Slater’s contract. You don’t think they were like, “we just gave you a sh(tload of money, now go surf?” Cmon.
Also, as a ZQK surfer Dane better start winning or he’ll find his azz replaced by Bobby Martinez.
@Fidel…. 11 posts in 2 hours, none interesting. I hereby proclaim a moratorium on your idiocy, take it to Surflie.com. Y Pablo de Habanna estoy un Juebon maricon con nada pelotas. Su vida en este pais creatado mucho conversacion y mi policia oir todo. Bueno suerte Payaso.
Bob Dobbs, I name as my new Secret Service Director, go arrest Rabbit Bartholomew for gross negligence and neglect of duty. Then find the Cuban dissidents and introduce them to G-Bay….
Ballz can head up the Aesthetic Surgery Department of the American Medical Association. he has a keen eye for placement and impeccable integrity.
As for the rest of my cabinet, we will proclaim Garajagan the “Southern White House” and restrict it to staff meetings only. Adjourned.
You can’t handle G Land Mikey, you can’t handle Mrs Steds and you already can’t handle the pressure of A.S.P. President because you are yelling at some stupid Latino on the internet. How much shit would you really get if you had Rab’s old job? Would you spend all day lashing out at some dope like me who is sitting at a computer in a small Central American town surfed out for the umpteenth time?
You can’t handle Rab’s old job Mikey!!!! All you can do is talk shit on the internet!
@ Bob Dobbs
You know not of which you speak turd gurgler.
I have secrets my friend. Things about America that no one knows but me.
And your new president is falling right in line with the program.
Waste of Breath=Cum breath. Suck it Monkey!!
If you guys knew the surf we get here you would freak. Long Island beachbreaks are all time in winter when all the kooks go home.
Then at night, after surfing, we go clubbing in the city.
@Sal Pacino
So I guess I’ll book my ticket and pack my dry suit. No, I think I’ll just stay home and surf black’s or O’side pier. I’m too old for clubbing, so I’ll just stay home and grill up a NEW YORK STEAK…because I can actually go outside in winter, and then stroke my giant cock and get up and do it all again….PFFFFT!!!!
@SAL
However, I do envy the fall colors, the fishing, and the pizza pie (I lived in center Moriches as a tot and up).
…plus JimG would be 2,500 miles away…See you soon!!!!!
@ Fidel…. projection, projection, projection… have to keep you on the line at least 30 seconds to trace the post….
The only thing I couldn’t handle day one is the compensation.
Other than that Cuban dumbfuck, I don’t even have to raise my voice.
And what’s with the Rab idolatry? Pedestrian surfing, corporate licking and an exit with the bath plug?
Choose your idols wisely Fidel.
JimG=cumdumpster
@president Mike: I will do you proud, boss. Your staff will dine in porcine extravagance, and this sandwich does not talk when his superiors engage in extracurriculars with underage or non-American mistrissessesss.
@Waste of Breath: If Hammy is a fag, does that means he likes to get it on with other ham sandwiches? ‘Cause generally it’s the tuna melts that get me going.
@Ballz: Isn’t it obvious? Jordy’s “predator nipples” tighten up his center of gravity, enabling a higher completion percentage for sick aerial surf tricks, which equates to cougar love, which means his genes will proliferate and…wait…uh…wasn’t it anal cougar love? Oh.
@ Mike
English please.
You speak like a college professor who loves to wow the freshmen girls with his fancy speak but then goes home to t.v. dinners and xxx movies alone.
And Mike. Today as you were driving home from packed Lowers in your s.u.v. back to whatever O.C. suburb you call home I was driving down the line at one of the premier right points in Central America. Alone.
I guess you can’t relate. You are too busy telling the world how well you would run pro surfing if you could. I have an idea Mike. Why don’t you and your Post Surf kook squad actually GO SURFING for once. Instead of just flapping your gums about it.
Beautiful sunset with 6 foot lines pouring through right now. I have a cold beer in my hand and fresh fish on the table.
How is Irvine right now Mike?
@Fidel: Quote from 12:14am: “Sorry i commented. I won’t be back asshole.” Please do keep your word, eh? Get back to that surfing alone and not flapping the gums thing.
PS, you seem to imply that t.v. dinners and xxx movies are a bad thing. Jamon no comprende.
Creo que el señor Mike es cabrón y maricón.
Viva Cuba!
And BTW Mike.
Wayne Bartholomew has more passion for surfing than pretty much anyone ever. Did you ever read that surfer article debating who had spent the most time in the tube in history? Rab smoked Shaun and Gerry.
Then he went on to revamp the pro tour into the dream tour and carried us into the internet era. And all you can do is talk shit about him. I bet if you ever met him you would kiss his ass and ask for an autograph.
?? Message: “Your comment is awaiting moderation” ??
Jost like here en Cuba!
@ Jamon Bagel
Get back in the fridge.
@ FIdel…
I did meet Rabbit, the coke addled fuck who tried to fuck my neighbors wife after stealing all his blow. Next morning he put on a “performance” at River Jetties that gave us all confidence in OUR surfing.
Rabbit could squat in the tube at Kirra, but was it him or perfect Kirra.
If I was on a surf trip to Las Flores, I wouldn’t bother with this website. Good on you, Mr Self contentedness and remember, this is just for fun. I’m not actually the president, but must have put on a convincing performance for someone so naive.
If you’re not enjoying the show, turn the channel. We had another guy constantly “quitting”, the act is tired. Now eat your dinner before it gets cold.
Although I do agree with your impression of Lowers….
And Thanks Jamon for being such a great addition to our team, nothing gets accomplished without nourishment. But this TV dinner is so good I can’t concentrate on my porn, although Trauzer seems unfazed by the meal and is getting a good workout as I write.
Gay surf blog men rule!
Yes Mike, I’m always getting a good workout-the key is watching the free trailers enough times to get a good mental image.
@Mark
round 2 of golf here in the south wasn’t as good as round 1. It was a see-saw affair at a great, challenging public course that has been here since the 30’s….but made an 8 on the number 16 par three..brutal, hot under the collar, resulting in a 97 for the day….not sure what it all means (except maybe i suck at golf).
@Jamon bagel
I don’t know what to say, I’ve totally lost track of this thread… too many budweisers… G’nite!
@ Fidel
Actually Lopez won that Surfer mag contest about tube time. They said rabbits claims were a little untrustworthy. And Lopez was at Ulu and Grajagan alone for years. Do your homework bro. Then cut my grass please senor.
And lighten up on Mike dude.
@ trauzersnake
Have a cold Bud for me brother.
Thanks travel secretary.
Wayne Bartholomew is the Donnie Trump of professional surfing.
Styles his hair like Donald Trump. Is about as bright in running the ASP as Donald Trump’s son would be in running the Trump empire.
Rabbit runs the APS like Donnie Trump ran Trump Ent.
Straight into BK’ville.
Fidel. Gooooooooaaaalllllll!!!!!
@TAJ BURRO
rabbit quit like a year ago…that means he RAN the ASP like trump, etc, and he probably quit because he knew what a debacle and a failure it was/is
trauzer, actually it’s been a mere five months since Rabbit hopped away.
You are right, though. and thanks for the correction. I should have wrote ran instead of runs.
typical of situations like this where everyones attempts to save face. ASP lets him quit instead of canning him.
BK here they come.
It seems the breath of life has pumped back into this site. Why is the overall energy so high despite the ASPs obvious problems? Despite shit web coverage fuckwit wishy washy formatting and a piss poor Brazo location?
Two reasons: Kelly and Jordy. By competing in this event, win or lose, both give notice that despite its flaws the CT is what we’ve got. Both could walk away and just go surfing. They don’t need the ASP but it sure needs them doesn’t it? If they left the tour simultaneously it would die, the sport would shrivel like Rabbits balls and the industry would go dark.
Raise your glass tonight to their competitive natures and freakish talents. It’s the only real “hope and change” we have.
Drink up before they figure out that with a bit of OPEC action and some collective bargaining they could control the destiny of the whole game.
p.s. Mike Stewart clocked more tube time in his worst year than Lopez and Rabbits combined lifetime total and did airs twenty years ago that rival Jordys smoothest efforts. And he did it on waves of consequence. Sometimes the future is right there behind you.
@Jiggy Jig,
You were doing pretty well… until your Mike Stewart injection.
Really??
Name one thing one air Mike Stweart did before ANY skateboarder or snowboarder.
And degree of difficulty? Please. Laying down the whole time on a matress vs. standing up on a knife-shaped object?
Name the planet you’re living on… I want to come live there!!
If I could only spell as well as Bob Dobbs…
*Sigh*
I knew deliverance fools who rafted into massive river barrels before Mike Stewart was a gleam in his doggie’s eye.
Not that there’s anything wrong with boogie boarding or anything.
Some of my best friends are boogie boarders.
As money cannabalize’s lessor money, capitalism will reach it’s unregulated destiny.
Surfing will not escape that reality.
The ASP has had many years to exert itself and played dead to corporate interest. Now that money has extracted the sponsor’s revenue stream, an entire culture will come to grips with unsustainability.
What Jiggy senses is a common purpose. Will that be too late? And will the “Fidels” of the world even notice until mommy’s money runs dry.
Interesting times boys, be prepared for the third quarter numbers. Funny how the “pundits’ will sound surprised despite the eventaulity of unregulated money. No finish line, the ultimate food chain.
And Dave Rasta won’t be able to do shit about it. Like those bottle nose dolphins slain while he escapes to a van, nice perserverance Dave. A billybongy photo op of pussies running from a battle they claimed to confront.
The air has a pleasant smell tonight. Of Mike’s grandmother getting throttled by the anal current that suppresses the masses. Sigh.
I probably won’t remember this tomorrow. Blessed the Irish and their drink.
It seems like all the usual suspects on here are commenting for the soul purpose of being the “comment of the week”.
especially mike that mother fucker is stupid.
Mike
Mommys money? Las Flores? WTF?
You are an idiot. Stirring up fear on a stupid surf website. What do you do for a living Mike? What makes you an expert on the worlds economy? You sound like a typical So Cal spoiled punk that projects his views on all around him.
No Mike. Las Flores is not the best right point in Central America. You need to get out into the real world and check things out for yourself instead of relying on Surfline for all of your travel info. Only problem is you couldn’t survive too long without Post Surf so you have to travel to spots with internet access.
Turn off MSNBC Mike and read a book for a change. And just for your info ” capitalism” built America into a great country. It is socialist whining kooks like you that are going to tear it down.
I have to go now. Looks like the tide is just getting right. Have fun driving your s.u.v. around in So Cal traffic you hypocrite.
This ASP event should be named the Droll Tour.
With money now less available to speculative ventures than it has been in half a century, we should see cash burn ventures dropping like flies.
Does ASP fit that bill?
Grandma died last summer Blasph, fire away.
Fidel sure has time to post. I’ve spent time in Salvador and las Flores reference was a joke, too bad reading comprehension isn’t your strength. I’ll dumb it down so that you can reply from your waterproof lap top while you’re “scoring”. Flat here, that’s why I have time to post.
Glad to know that you travel to spots with internet access and can’t live without post surf…. on a surf trip!
Mike,
The two posts at 1:46am were not me. But at least the sucker misspelled my name to make it easy.
My condolences to you on the passing of your grandmother. I remember her fondly for that weekend we eloped in Santa Barbara during that infamous Northwest swell of 1894.
Sincerely,
President of Vice.
Señor Mike es Socialista? Viva Mike!
Gracias Pablo, la palabra socialista es un ejemplo de Moneria creatado malo ideas desde un subjecto que no deserven la fuckery. Moneria vs Gente, un facil ideologico consideracion.
No worries Blasph, unfortunately Grandma had the capacity to be quite the tart and I still loved her. Even gave me the excuse to be a whore myself. Thank you, President of Vice, you’re doing a fantastic job.
This October 30, I am going dressed as Olga Kurylenko.
@Hugh Jass
thanks bro! ur fucking on it!!!!
All I can say is thank GOD that I was too busy to be on the internet when Lewis posted this one and while all the commentary was going down…
PS: Lewis, you’re not all wrong…
PPS: Mike, nice choice of Cabinet! I’ll be your “straight” guy anytime!
Lewis, you are the antithesis of journalistic integrity.
Any surf journalist worth his salt would understand that the events effectively run the ASP board and they are responsible for their own event sites and webcast deliveries. Yet you incessantly whine about ASP being irrelevant while neglecting to tackle the real issue - the overwhelming influence of event sponsors at board level.
I assume this is due to one of two reasons or a combination of both:
(a) You are too lazy to research the board level politics of ASP or,
(b) You are a fucking coward since your last attempt to castigate a surfing superpower resulted in an embarrassing and sudden dismissal.
The novelty of your monotonous bleating is wearing thin. Here’s an outlandish thought: suggest some ways to make the governing body of surfing better and try making a positive contribution to the sport on which you leech your livelihood.
Otherwise you will remain just that, a fucking leech.
I believe Mr. Irony may have missed the point entirely. But that’s just me.
You lost me at “any surf journalist worth his salt…”
@ Tongue In Cheek
“But my point is simply this: With this latest coma-inducing ASP event, the ASP is making the most convincing arguement yet for the ASP’s irrelevancy.”
The point is fucking crystal clear. The parasite is attacking the host which allows it to live.
@ captain irony… proving lewis’ point
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