Comment of the Week comes from the Bad Vibe Bob, a shadowy, notorious voice of dissent known to frequent surf sites both real and virtual. Bad Vibe was kind enough to share with PostSurf via electronic mail his recollections of recent SUP encounters. -LS
I have tried to mount many a SUP - the first off mid-beach; the guy was trying to hog the peak (good rights) so I went at him, up close and personal with the verbal taunting. He made some smart-assed comment so I tried to mount his rig. All hell and banter breaks loose. He fell off twice. Eventually having to retreat. I shit you not, another surfer paddles by and said something to the effect ʻ... surprise surprise, BAD VIBE yelling at peopleʻ. Defending the Oarsman... what a guy.
The surfer that said it was pretty ugly, like a human faced version of a Pitt-bull so I quickly paddled south and away. Next up was a week later down the beach. Same thing, " I say, "bro, get off the waves, get out of the way, find another peak, youʻre dangerous, what a kook, go home, barney, asshole, fuckwad...ʻ He sayʻs, ʻI donʻt know you? You sound like some punk from Santa Cruzʻ. To my mind this means one thing: MOUNT ... After a couple of sets on the head he split. Saw the same beefy dude at a school function and he looked on at me not knowing WTF! to do? Saw him Tuesday and paddled right at him, ready to mount. He saw the most hateful stink coming towards him and split.
At the Point earlier this summer a couple a guys were on the outside chumping the shoulder so Billy and I watched and then COULD NOT TAKE IT ANYMORE! I had one guy out the back; cursing and trying to mount the fucker but he held me at a distance with his oar! There I am taunting him and heʻs being a fucking newly re-seeded hairline prick and I am desperately trying to pirate his SUP and he manages to stay on top of his board. Iʻm grabbing the rail, diving underneath a murky ocean and darned if I canʻt fucking dunk the guy. Meanwhile Iʻm missing all the good sets. He finally sayʻs, ʻ You are being filmed...ʻ
I keep at him. Then he and his buddy ( who in the meanwhile is busy with Billy) quickly paddle into the bay towards whatever drain and are gone.
One hour later a policeman walks past our Peanut Gallery and then doubles back and stops in front of me and sayʻs, "ʻ Uh... were you surfing... a " Paddle Boarder" said that you told him that, " You were going to fucking eat his eye balls for dinner.ʻ" To which I say, "I never said anything of the sort." Runs my license. Clean.
Later the two accusers tried to slink by the Peanut Gallery along the railing but my friend said, ʻ Hey, those two are giving you, or us, hard looksʻ. Sure enough. Odd Todd went at the smaller guy with the stick that he uses to hold up the back hood of his piece of shit van. Heʻs invoking hilariously the scene from Taxi Driver. "You want a piece of me!" One guy sayʻs to Todd, " Are you drunk?, on something? and reaches for his cell phone and begins poking. Wise decision to leave when I did. As I was headed up the hill another Policeman is firing down the hill...
This is the sad state of affairs.
All true. No bull.
--Bad Vibe Bob