PHOTO DISPATCH: LOCALS ONLY

Posted by lewis on August 8, 2009 at 9:32 am.

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Today we have the photogravures of Edward Sheriff Curtis , a professional photographer from Seattle, who documented over 80 North American Indian tribes between 1907 and 1930.

The photo above depicts a Qagyuhl wedding party, Pacific Northwest coast.

Nearly 100 years later, not far from where this location, meth-addled white trash of Aryan descent now jealously guard a handful of quality points.  Tactics of intimidation include camouflaged pits lined with Punji sticks and broken glass, to keep non-local invaders from hiking into "their" spots.

But hey - when Meth-abuse makes your IQ decline in equilibrium with your number of remaining teeth... such xenophobia seems logical.

No matter - like the native tribes before them, the current locals will be swept away by the masses; outnumbered by aliens with better resources.  This new wave of pasty Caucasian invaders will rely on entitlement, enthusiasm, lawyers, and $100 Costco foamies.

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42 Comments

  • first is gay says:

    yup first is soooo 90’s

  • Jon Roseman says:

    Perfect photos of perfect people in a perfect place during a perfect time.

    p.s.- Meth heads in B.C.? You sure ’bout that?

  • BrodyStylez says:

    As ruthless as it is, I am fond of the idea of booby-trapping trails on the way of little known surf spots. Sure, it’s woefully ineffective and will likely result in long prison sentences for the perpetrators rather than any real crowd control, but at least they are fighting on the more noble side of the surfsploitation war.

    And please stop bashing meth users, we are not all bad. Meth has given so much to surfing and society as a whole, it is really unfair to pigeonhole us based on the misdeeds of a few bad apples. Without meth, surfing at Mavericks or Outer Reef Daytona would still be in the dark ages. We don’t wish to harm anyone, we are really no different than coffee drinkers, only we are demonized and exploited by big government types who paint us as monsters and throw us in privatized prisons.

    Also, sometimes when you say Aryan it makes me think that still harbor certain feelings against our kind. In future posts on the subject, may you would consider using a different, less offensive term to describe us such as honkies, crackers, white devils, or custard fucking milk faces.

    * Any political point mentioned after this comment shall be considered an admission of being a devotee of both Sean Collins and David Rastovic, and a zealous proponent of dolphin blowjobs.

  • JimG says:

    I understand: tens of thousands of SoCal surfers are moving so they can live in small towns with few, if any, jobs to surf freezing, shark-infested, northern waves. Better step up the localism because here we come.

  • Dr Wu. says:

    Although some may hide their heads in their pillow or teddybear,….

    Politics. It never ends. It never goes away.

    If you can’t drink their whiskey, take their money, fuck their women and still vote against them in the morning, you don’t belong in politics.”

    “Mpney is the mother’s milk of politics”.

    -Jesse Unruh.

  • BVBVBVBVBVBVBV says:

    HENCE.
    I was wondering about a certain person, fiction, fake, fraud or for real?
    He is either buggered already, wants to be buggered or is buggering himself. Rottfacebuttman - what canʻol BVB do fer ya? You need help. Splooge on the keys and a penchant for potty mouth speak. I mean, you can ʻkind ofʻ “write,” although it is not really a style Iʻm into. Your fellow inmates seem to appreciate it. SORRY for the fukt up text but I have this decoder thing installed on my tool and well, yep.

    *******
    This “locals only” thing. Well, I guess I win, actually being native - bit crusty, but I win.
    Before you get your 42″ waist, pouch pocket tighty whitey BVDʻs in a nasty little poop brown wedgy, as you sit there with half a mans dick in hand and begin claiming Texas or some shit let me remind you that there is a little swell in the water. You know where to find me.

    Kill all people from Los Angeles.

  • Taj's Burro™ says:

    @BVD’s

    They said the same thing.

    Aztec’s late 1400’s early 1500. Jonestown, 1978. North Shore Kauai, circa 1979.

    As Lewis’s writes, it’s a losing proposition.

    Welcome to the future.

  • Thanks for sharing these beautiful photographs I would have otherwise never seen.

    Thank you.

  • Just Arrived Guy says:

    Locals what a joke!

    I’ve been surfing the same spot for decades, and I never say anything to anyone. Yet at least once a year someone I have never seen before shows up and two months later they are calling people off waves.

    Cause hey, they’re a Local!

  • Mailman's Burro says:

    @ Conservative Burro:

    The Carib Indians circa 1493…

    Cortés’ expedition to Mexico left Cuba in 1519…the fall of Tenochtitlan (Mexico) was in early 1520…Cortés was exonerated by Charles V for insubordination, conspiracy and treason in 1521. The conquest was largely a product of manipulation of existing political tensions between pre-Columbian states, Euro & Meso-American ideological differences and standardized codes of warfare in Meso-America, not Iberian superiority in arms or warfare.

    Bottom line: Se habla español en latinoamérica en el año 2009.

    Side note: burros’ sterile ass existence in the Americas stems from these events.

    Cool photos. Surfing in the Northwest is hardly worth it…unless you have meth and can magically control wind patterns. Yeah, and fuck LA transplants anywhere in the world. Spoiled, arrogant cunts.

  • ReB says:

    why are meth users reknowned for having crappy teeth ?

    is it because the meth use changes their body chemistry in a manner that is destructive to the gums & teeth ?

    or is it because taking care of their teeth is not high on the agenda of many/most meth users ?

  • Taj's Burro™ says:

    @ReB

    If these iceheads had any intelligence at all, before they rotted out, they would have pulled their own teeth and sold them for cash to scrimshaw carvers.

  • BrodyStylez says:

    Dear ReB,

    Wikipedia has the answer. Please see check link below.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meth_mouth

  • surfcheck says:

    Stayed with friends in Forks, WA (Olympic Penns.) - it stayed raging onshore the entire 2 weeks but major and consistant swell. I don’t know how they make a living. It can get perfect when they have inland highs but a lot of frustration like right now in norcal, waiting for at least NW windswell to fill in, slim pickins-

  • ReB says:

    “Such characteristics include:

    * xerostomia (dry mouth): Methamphetamine use may decrease the production of saliva. A lack of saliva’s natural protective effects directly leads to increased tooth decay, particularly at the gumline. Smoking tobacco or consuming highly sugared soft drinks may worsen the problem.
    * cracked teeth: Methamphetamine induces clenching and grinding of the teeth, leading to wear or cracks.
    * neglect of oral hygiene: This is likely among the most important causes of poor oral health among methamphetamine users. After a prolonged binge, users may sleep for a day or more with their mouths open, exacerbating the problems of poor saliva supply.”

    1. for the dry mouth, you can chew gum with Xylitol. that’s what some dentists prescribe for patients with dry mouth. it helps to expel saliva from the glands. As far as the sugar drinks, i had to lay off them myself the week before Obama’s election, coincidentally.
    2. for clenching & grinding of teeth there’s always a mouth guard. and, there’s always yoga.
    3. neglect of oral hygiene - got to floss, man.

    conclusion: the meth user category is not a profitable market segment for young dentists starting a new practice.

    what does this have to do with surfing ?

    SUP, man ?! :-)

    gnarly teeth
    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/04/Suspectedmethmouth09-19-05.jpg/250px-Suspectedmethmouth09-19-05.jpg

  • jiggy jig says:

    Anybody read Phil Edwards “You Should Have Been Here an Hour Ago”? The first local doesn’t stand a chance and each new generation of “wolfpak” gets softer than the last until the point where they start endorsing tinfoil pinwheels sold in boutiques to SUP riding lawyers wives. Gene Smith or Buzzy Trent would have ripped the heads off the current crop of big bad wannabe wolves and shit down there gargling throats. Pat Curren would have silenced them with a sideways glance and Jose would have cooked their testacles and eaten them for breakfast with a smile and a dash of salt.

    That’s the end of localism. It dies with a whimper and a moan in a homophobic bout of oiled man wrestiling passed of as “ultimate fighting practice”

    Turtlegate was just a symptom of the teminal disease.

    As for the PNW? You can have it.

    Dora died for your fucking sins

    Harden the fuck up.

  • yakers says:

    ha1!!! wear a box cutter ring and slash leashes. Send em packin without a word…… DO IT

  • Mike says:

    I returned homw from a business trip to find the Bitch please Thread….. Maiman’s SL video’s, Taj’s burro lighting it up, too much comedy and then Mark posting his boredom. Better get used to it Bammy, the good old days are 5 hours across the pacific from your latest decision.

    Thanks boys, I had forgotten about this fuckery, but have spent the last hour laughing without a single toke or guzzle, pure comedy.

    As for the Pac NW,…. of fuck, who cares.

  • Rob Machado says:

    There are waves north of Santa Cruz?

  • BVBVBVBVBVBVBV says:

    Rottfacebuttmouth silenced.

  • Randy Nudeman says:

    Fuck you all!

    I love LA

  • schlurg says:

    Kaiser’s could be renamed “Meth Mouth”

  • brandon says:

    Whats not quite as bad as SUP’ers but worse than “Groms Attack” …… Sterling Spencer

  • Rebecca says:

    And then you go and post things like this that make me give you the benefit of the doubt all over again!!

    Oh the complexities, Lewis.

  • Things are slow around the ASP too: http://www.aspworldtour.com/2009/news_show.asp?rEvent=&rcode=12982

    Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz . . . . . . .

  • The writings on the wall as they say. Jiggyjig is right.

    And after going to the Costco ‘blue board’ story, I felt sick to my stomach. Again.

    Quoting from the story by Steve ‘Let’s Cash In’ Casimiro:

    “…this isn’t a lineup of Kelly Slaters—and when a wave rolls through it brings mayhem. There are collisions and flying boards. Every wave is a party wave, with five, six, seven people all on the same mushburger, all struggling to balance atop the foamy surge. On any given summer afternoon, there will be 60 or 70 surfers in the lineup, and from the right angle it looks like D-Day.

    It’s a beautiful sight.”

    The people who think like this look at Hiroshima and marvel, ‘what a success that bomb was’.

  • ReB says:

    Sunny has dropped to 138 on the QS.

  • ReB says:

    test

  • Geo. Patten says:

    Speaking of nukes and D-Day. The perfect opportunity to nuke North Korea would have been the weekend after Bill Clinton dropped off the “gifts” in return for those two lesbian journalists.

    Old Kim Jong Il would have been quite preoccupied, drunk on Johhny Walker Red, counting all that cash.

  • Seaside on the Dream Tour says:

    Those photos are incredible, especially the dancing to restore the eclipsed moon.

    Secondly, SEASIDE IS AWESOME! Please go surf there and take all your friends. Park in the lot closest to the point, be loud and obnoxious while saying “California” as much as you can. Preferably have cali plates with Channel Islands stickers on your windows and maybe a fun board or two. Prominently display your intent to photograph the wave from the lot, from the walk out and from the point. Oh yeah and take a gun cuz you will need it!

    I love meth

  • Mike says:

    @ Seaside on the Dream Tour… The ASP is concerned about a “beach presence” and the room for a proper skate half pipe and motorcycle jump area. Another challenge is the 3 day music festival, necessary to draw a wider demo from Portland. They had to scrap the bikini contest because of a lack of entrants female.

    Overall it seems a stretch because it’s so removed from Orange County and has no satellite office’s for any of the industry players. Although David Eggers has volunteered to suspend his prolific writing career to run the event, he also asked for a wild card slot which has bothered some insiders. The point locals also want to host a qualifying event, but no one at the ASP offices returned that e mail.

    Wishful thinking SDT, but it’s at least a year off. I called my buddy Dave Mailman and he provided all this inside information. If you call him after 7PM France time, he’s a bit tipsy and loose of the lips.

    For more info, contact the Seaside Point Visitor Information Bureau.

  • Cliff Spap says:

    Fuck All Y’All!

    Quit writtin rapps and go play volleyball!

  • I would say “kill all people,” but then that would leave me with no retards to play with…

  • Hugh G. Rection says:

    Thanks Lew. This message was too short.

  • Pacific NW Surfer says:

    I’m a meth smoking surfer from the pacific north west and I’m really getting a kick out of this article and these responses.

  • Lewis "Donkey Boy" Samuels says:

    I am a pro blogger. It is how I get noticed for my surfing. I blog to show everyone how good I surf.

  • Sang Crepps says:

    Well said! If I could write like this I would be well pleased. The more I read articles of such quality as this (which is rare), the more I think there might be a future for the Web. Keep on keeping on :)

  • juicy says:

    fantastic photographs thanks for sharing, love seeing old photos like this shame about the meth heads

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  • overanother happy reader. Very beneficial. But I do agree with dude - not all rightif ill spend too much time on this??

  • Cyndi Roberg says:

    Great Post. Thanks for sharing.

  • Good post. Also, just thought I’d let you know I found your post through MSN when I was searching for driving tips for 2011. Haha

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