Stay Classy, Surfrider Foundation

Posted by lewis on August 25, 2009 at 3:05 pm.

Leave it to Transworld Surf to start a news article with a sentence like this:

"The Surfrider Charity Event on August 16, 2009 was packed with ocean conscience, party animal OC residents!"

If you're wondering why Transworld was bothering to cover a charity event at all, well, it's because there was "a very sexy bikini contest" that went along with it.


According to Transworld,  "The girls had to also compete in a hula-hoop contest in their bikinis and in high heels—what a combination."

Yes, what a combination: Keeping our OC beaches clean via the gross objectification of women!  BOOYAH!  All we're missing is some self-serving environmental-product marketing... oh, wait.  Did I mention that they raffled off an electric bicycle?

As a commenter on the TW article noted, "only in southern california can a two-wheeled self propelled device (known as a fuckin bicycle) become “green” by installing an electric motor…"

If the Surfrider Foundation is keen to step up and be taken seriously as a vital, mature, responsible non-profit, this is surely a step in the right direction.


Who can forget the dignified and moving National Fibromyalgia Association Wet T-Shirt Contest, or the smashing good time that was the 2009 Center for Domestic Violence Prevention Pole Dancing Strip-Off?

If you're wondering how in the custard-fuck Surfrider got involved with this loonery, look no further than event planner Raquel Figlo, of Raquel Entertainment Media. Take a gander at her website: this public relations firm may appear to be a MySpace page for Tila Tequilla's trailer-trash cousin, but don't judge a company by its website.  As the Raquel Media site explains:


"Based out of Los Angeles we are the innovator of what we like to call, progressive thinking. The provided value we bring to our clients is demonstrated through brand awareness with celebrity hosted fashion shows and events..."

Progressive thinking...Wow.

Kudos to you, Raquel Figlo.  Looks like Dave Rastovich has some competition for the SIMA 2010 Environmentalist of the Year award.


  • Yeah, Bitch! says:

    First!! You whiny little coyote cunt lickers!!

  • I’m proud to be an ocean “conscience” person as well. I see that Cote’s been hard at work over there.

  • Lance says:

    Sounds like a fundraiser I’d go to I have no complaints in seeing hot chicks hool-a-hoop in a bikini and heels… that just made something move in my pants =D

  • bay st says:

    haha go lakers!

  • I actually went to that PR website hoping for some nudity. Alas, I must report I had no such luck. Oh well, Nug posted an awesome pic of Alana on his website, so I’m goin’ ‘batin.

  • bdub says:

    This event would have been the perfect time to try out those Power Balance jimmy hats….for her pleasure.

  • trauzersnake says:

    I have a massive boner. I’m about to unload a couple of tablespoons of blasphemy rottmouth into an old towel.

  • lazer® says:

    I concur with trauzersnake. Henceforth, this Surfrider Charity Event has compelled me to begin donating my time for the cause.

    And by ‘my time’, I mean my wrist-thick veiny skin flute.

    And by ‘the cause’, I mean the girl in the first photo (forgive me, Alana).

  • al says:

    great wanker material. also on a side note the pinnacle of douchebaggery is pull in underwear. now their pitchman is none other than tim boal. does he lose his james bond mystery man cred over that?

  • SmudeDogg says:


    Looks like Dave Rastovich has some competition for the SIMA 2010 Environmentalist of the Year award.


  • bone an raized says:

    First you trick us onto sufline now TWS?
    OC sucks, but I am conscience of the massive bulge in my pants.

  • travis says:

    PETA does stuff like this. Maybe this has something to do with that guy b-ramming that turtle.

  • Both Figlo and Rastovich don’t have shit on this guy when it comes to the SIMA 2010 Environmentalist of the Year award-

  • BrodyStylez says:

    The dichotomy here is truly laughable, but my only bone to pick is the word choice regarding objectification of women. I would hate to sound like a misogynist, but these skeezers aren’t going to win nobel prizes anytime soon, nor will they serve any purpose other than product promotion and fucking rich dudes. To put these type of broads in the same category as a Mme Curie, Rachel Carson, or Sarah Palin is totally insulting and degrading in and of itself. But at least they aren’t out trying to surf, or even worse, actually getting waves. What’s even sadder is that this Figlo tramp is getting paychecks and I’m not. Good stuff!

  • Crusty Native says:

    boners and BR’s obsession with whacking off…Maybe the tagline for this site should read PostSurf “Unfiltered comments on what a few newbs and posers do when they don’t surf”

  • Courtney Love's Turtle Puss says:

    Mmmm, whacking off.

  • lazer® says:

    BrodyStylez: Did you just try to equate Sarah Palin with Marie Curie?

    Talk about degrading…

    That said, I’d eat granola and grass-fed Siberian tigers for a month if we could get ex-Gov. Palin to shake her way down the catwalk. For environmentalism, naturally. Ah well…

    Back to Boise State, the lot of you!

  • Mike says:

    Surfrider is an abject failure to anyone who surfs Newps and HB. I had a 25 year sinus infection that cured itself after my move 5 years ago. The Brookhurst sewage station allows raw sewage into RJ’s… both cities know, and the surfrider is silent.

    Instead, they hold a strip show for environmentalism. Well, if it moves the 909 off the sand, they’ve at least done something to clean the place up.

    As for “gross objectification” of skanks, don’t get your panties in a wad Lewis. Just cuddle up with Warshaw, a glass of red and let loose on those wacky breeders.

    That said, Lewis Samuels, you made my wife laugh out loud, a Post Surf first! “green electric bicycle” is especially good though the wet t shirt contest probably is the punch line.

    Glad Cote got the exclusive scoop on saving the earth.

  • Joe P. says:

    Cote, where are you? Speak on it!! SPEAKKKKK!

  • christof says:

    BrodyStylez - good call. I was about to jump to the defense of the objectifying women call when you put some perspective on it.

    I personaly dont like the statement these women make or how they are perceived as role models by younger impressionable women. But theres no solution here - no solution other than to understand the situation and not be a victim to their allure!

    Kinda lame though - especially that PR person and her site. Fukc!

  • Robert's Your Mother's Brother says:

    Mr. Cote is unavailable due to still trying to get the cum stains off his clothes. He is, after all, still a virgin.

  • Robert's Your Mother's Brother says:

    Surfrider Foundation. As classy as a popcorn fart in a crowded elevator.

  • Robert's Your Mother's Brother says:

    @ BrodyStylez

    Sarah Palin doesn’t know what the Nobel Prize is and it’s doubtful she would ever be a candidate for one.

    Men that think she’s “hot” have never seen a woman’s stomach that has had 5 kids. Maybe a blow job in a bar toilet with her fully clothed (and with the glasses on…and the beer goggles) but otherwise no thanks. And if you think otherwise, you are one pathetic mother fucker (no pun intended).

  • trauzersnake says:

    I had a good toss the other day (is there a such thing as a bad toss?) and neglected the clean-up. Found a CRUSTY NATIVE on the wall and in the carpet today.

  • hmm hmm, those girls look goood,I would like to invite them to my party…

  • P.J. O'Rourke says:

    Surfrider is nothing but a group of corporate shakedown artists, akin to an Al Sharpton.

  • Meatwad says:

    Holy shit this chicks website is worse than nealdudes blog she has almost no photos from other events other than the surfriders meat sock spectacular maybe she did it for free to get her name out.
    not that justifies hiring a retard to run your event.

  • Meatwad says:

    I bet the chick on the far right with all the tats and the scowl would let you put it in her pooper

  • Rip Torn says:

    Dang! The girl who stole Keith Malloy’s flannel, Mike’s black thong, and Stu’s shoes has a great ass!

  • Meatwad says:

    you can bet thats not b-rots wife.

  • @Crusty Native,

    Would you be so kind as to elaborate on YOUR terms of “newb” and “poser”? I would be mildly amused to read your enlightened take on the matter.

    And by ‘amused,’ I would of course, mean catching up on lost weekend slumbers.

  • @Meatwad,

    You’re damn straight. My wife takes at least eight minutes to inflate.


  • nealdude says:

    where’s your blog meatwad. oh yah you don’t have one…

  • ted says:

    since the only place I ever see pictures of young women from California is in the surf media, you will have to forgive me for thinking that they all look exactly the same. How do you guys tell your females apart?

  • Meatwad says:

    Blogs are super gay except this one of course.

  • nealdude says:

    thanks for the support meatwad, it’s great to have fans!

  • Yes, I would agree that blogs, aside from this hallowed site, are indeed, for the gays.

  • PacNW says:

    Surf has been firing up here. For better or worse however, there have been no sightings of hot chicks with fake tits in bikinis.

    That is all, carry-on.

  • Dirty Whore says:

    I like the midget blonde in the middle with the “what am I doing here with these whores?” expression on her face. Apparently she’s not a card carrying member of whatever whoring organization the rest of the skanks belong to. Also, she’s either 3 feet tall or the squatting behomths in front are 9 feet tall.

    I appreciate the fact that Lewis didn’t bother to post a link to the crappy TW article.

    In other news, would the Trestles comp please arrive already?

  • Richbzztch says:

    Skeezers website looks just like a late 90’s Master P c.d. cover. No Limit to how lame that party looked. I wish I didn’t see this post. Stinky shit Surfrider.

  • Well seems like a big buz going on here. All I can say is stay calssy and sexy everyone :)

  • World's Biggest Dick says:

    Wank away, kook. You will NEVER be as big as me!

  • BrodyStylez says:

    It’s hard for me to believe the controversy surrounding my Palin comment; it contained a hidden clue which can only be observed by those who have a solid understanding of cultural intricacies. Anyone who has the ability to use the French abbreviation for madame cannot, by definition, be an admirer of Sarah Palin. Palin fans hate learning foreign languages, and despise all things French. I frequently make references to her because she is an unending source of comedic joy for me. And RYMB, I would totally sodomize her, while her stretched out tummy and vag may be repulsive to you, she is much more educated, has way less kids, and is way richer than these Florida girls who are half her age. I never knew how hard it was to find distinguished women before yesterday.

  • Hater says:

    Must be a slow day creatively for you, LS — hard to believe you’re actually giving SR crap over flesh and bikinis. WTF?

    Unless this came up last night at dinner with your new feminazi or something??

  • Chris Cote says:

    Hi hello i’m here everybody. Um, well, they raised money for Surfrider which is good. I may or may not have gotten a boner from these pictures, but i’m sure I could have gotten laid at this party—the transworld corpo card goes a long way with these type of women.

  • trauzersnake says:

    crusty native=cumdumpster

  • Crusty Native says:

    trauzersnake = little boi with penis envy

  • Crusty Native says:

    @BR no need to elaborate. be confident in your own definition of those terms as it relates to you.

    I’m a crusty native in the land of Milks and Honeys. My home has been invaded, our secrets exposed and ways of the past compromised all under the new surfing reality where we must all pretend it’s aloha bro or cool country soul vibe brother(bought and paid for not earned mind you). fuck that. fuck the haters and stuntmen while we are at it. find it without your cellphone and bro network. find it because you can feel it, taste it and have lived it.

  • Robert's Your Mother's Brother says:

    @ BrodyStylez

    Il est bien fait!!

    But are Florida chicks (don’t you call them ‘Bettys’ there?) really THAT bad?

    You are a better man than me.

    PS - Are you any relation to Shyla Stylez? Elle est sexy! Plus sexy que Sarah Palin!

  • Dirty Whore says:

    BrodyStylez, unless you consider “cumdumpster” a valid retort to nearly any argument, you came to the wrong place for sutleties and cultural nuances. Incidentally, je suis une prostituée sale.

  • The Nug says:

    To be completely fair, I think this event was promoted and conceived by the Newport Beach chapter of Surfrider, not the national one.

    And whoever said they (Surfrider Newport Chapter) should do more to improve the water quality at Newport River Jetties is correct. There’s a lot of red tape and bureaucracy involved, I would imagine, but fuck, this should be the top priority for them.

    Ironic that the asses they were drooling on are probably the same asses that fill and flush toilets across the Inland Empire, the end product eventually finding its fecal home in the surf at River Jetties. Ah, the Circle of Life in Orange County .

  • dick_hertz says:

    Looks like the blond in the blue onepice may have sought to trounce the competition with not only massive silicon mounds but also a codpiece. Seeking to be all things to all men perhaps? An adult Doctor Doolittle PushMe-PullYou model?

  • Dirty Whore says:

    According to my sources, the amount of Orange County poo coming from skinny semi-hot model sluts with nice asses is less than 1/4th the amount coming from fat male cubicle workers who comment on blogs.

  • killing it says:

    I think the expression on the blond shorty deserves to be the main focus of a comment contest. Prizes include SR membership, Subscription to TW Surf, and a bikini bottom worn during the contest.

    Can your TW corpo card hook that up for us Cote?

  • killing it says:

    @The Nug

    “Ironic that the asses they were drooling on are probably the same asses that fill and flush toilets across the Inland Empire…”

    How does the saying go - “I’d eat a bucket of shit just to sniff her ass”? I imagine those of you in NB have ingested enough shit in the water over the last few years to at least drool on one of `em.

  • trauzersnake says:

    “Hot asses filling and flushing toilets”……..I’m getting another boner! And wow, the chick in the blue one-piece DOES have a bulge nearly as big as mine!

  • Dirty Whore says:

    Stop the objectification, Trauzer! She’s not a “chick”. As the tag clearly indicates, she’s whore #9.

  • trauzersnake says:

    My bad, Dirty…..i was focused on the bulge.

  • Last charity event I went to was raising money for the Deaf and for some awful reason they hired Coldplay and U2 to play a set! That shit was fucked up!

    oh yeah Wipeouts Still Suck!

  • shorepound says:

    thanks for the laughs everyone!!!

  • OCSN says:

    I reside in the OC and I see nothing wrong here. In fact it adds to an already bitchinʻ way of life.
    I flip flop between being gay and straight; all the wjile wishing Buttrotterface would sit on my face and fart cum all over my wifes spindly frizzed out OC hair. Then the keyboard would be covered with Trauzersnakes jizz in a mad frenzy of repressed psychohomoerotic male sexuality gone putrid.
    Nice website Lewis, this rules!

  • Dirty Whore says:

    GT??? Is that you?

  • Shreddy Roosevelt says:

    Quit fighting the TCA. Get on board with the T ‘n’ A!!!!

  • mark cole says:

    @ The Nug.

    CLASSIC LINE - “Ironic that the asses they were drooling on are probably the same asses that fill and flush toilets across the Inland Empire, the end product eventually finding its fecal home in the surf at River Jetties. Ah, the Circle of Life in Orange County” –CLASSIC!

  • Mike says:

    The Brookhurst Sewage Treatment Facility releases untreated waste regularly under the premise of “electrical failure”. Every morning, suburbia flushes and overwhelms the facility. The place is fucked.

    “Surf City” has beach closures commonplace and black ball policies… ironic considering that the city bases it’s identity on that (surfing) which it doesn’t support. It’s all an ad campaign and the Surfrider Foundation is complicit. One year, the entire coastline at State Beach was closed to sewage while it magically cleared for the contest next to the pier. That invisible line that protected the contest area from the current filled with effluent is the gift of marketing.

    Santa Cruz earns the lame designation anyway. Newps and HB are fucked by those cashing in on surfing without actually surfing. Money wins, baby.

  • Oh no. I think Rasta is about to paddle over the edge into credibility oblivion as if he wasn’t already hanging in the lip to begin with…..

  • trauzersnake says:

    OCSN@ 12:27=comment of the week LMFAO!

  • daveyjoneslizard says:

    Based out of 1 foot Lanis crusty native is the innovator in what we like to call, cumdumpsterism.

  • The Nug says:

    @mike and Mark

    Remember when all of HB was closed for about a month about 6 or so years ago? I’m fucking certain it was due to the Hyatt dumping the sewage from Driftwood mobile home park (which they tore down along with a sweet little nine-hole to make room for the hotel)directly into the flood control channels.

    The worst part is whenever I read about it in the local papers (OC Register Etc) their story angles would focus on the business aspect, on how these business were missing out because no one was going to the beach….hence not spending money.

    Hel-fuckin-low? The story was that the water is contaminated with raw sewage, not how many pairs of cargo shorts were not sold at Jack Surfboards. Assholes. They only care about surfing if they can make money from it. That is why I consider Santa Cruz the real California Surf City.

  • the real surf city is in north carolina.
    the only pollution that we get is from pig farms upriver…

  • Crusty Native says:

    I find it ironic that all the dudes with penis names are fixated on some device called a cumdumpster. “Dr Freud and your Momma are ready to see you now”

  • Mike says:


    That’s the least of the compromised situations. Remeber when they rose the sales tax a full point in 2000? They ran crews 24/7 at the Newland Power Plant, refurbing it from obsolesence. We PAID for that energy, but who controlled it? Enron, who manipulated supply and pricing and framed the lame duck Grey Davis. Those brownouts were contrived.

    The Sewage issue has been longstanding. As I wrote, and I know now the truth, when the station can’t process all the poop, it releases it untreated. Ever wonder why the sign is posted immediately in the morning of closures? Because they know when it’s happening. They tried to blame the Maggie bathrooms for a while, but the scientists were candid and said the pollution was no plumbing issue.

    HB is a shill to surfing. You’re spot on with your analysis, business is all that matters and no one wants to connect the dots because it’s the elephant in the room. If you followed any journalistic path, you’d have to open a pandora’s box of hypocrisy, greed, corruption…. all bad for business as usual.

    “Surf” is an ad campaign, not an active concern.

  • The Nug says:

    Mike, good stuff. And what about Nesi plant on Magnolia. Ah, I love the smell of a toxic waste dump less than a 1/4 mile from the beach and 100 feet from a high school. Smells like consumerism.

  • Occy's Mum says:

    Am I the only one completely fucking sick of Hurricane Fucking Bill? And speaking of shit that I am sick of…Orange County is pretty fucking pathetic. Through and through. If I have to see one more picture of “Lowers Going Off” I am going to throw up on The Nug.

  • Occy's Mum says:

    And that Power Balance crap? Fuck you!

  • Smyrnajeff says:

    Second from the left is CaliGirl. I have inside info bro.

  • Smyrnajeff says:

    “Mike for president!”.

  • Mike says:

    @ Nug, “smells like consumerism”… man, Edison had a good team in the day.

    Thanks Smyrna but my last presidency lasted just one post.

    Neal Dude, Blasph, Nug, Surfambassadorhendo (?)…. who else has their own blog? Oh Freddie P and some dude named Stab who claims Dion Angus as the surfblog savant. WE know it’s lewis samuels.

    God Bless Surfrider, Quiksilver, Billybongy, Hurley, Volcum, O’kneel, Riphurl, the huntington beach chamber of commerce, Boost Mobile, All surf schools, classes and instructors, and of course Christians in Orange County. As long as these institutions are taken care of, fuck off.

  • seasnake says:

    I am fucking discustard.

  • God says:

    consider them blessed, Mike, consider them blessed.

  • trauzersnake says:

    Damn, is R.I.P.per going to get his wish soon?………hmmmmmmmmmm??

  • killing it says:

    I’m pretty sure that 3rd from the left, on the top row, is Bede D. in a wig.

  • Raquel Figlo says:

    Hey there, it’s me RAQUEL..
    Sorry for the delayed response, just heard I was on your sight yesterday on my way to Vegas…

    Wanted to start off by saying THANKS MR. SAMUELS for all the extra press for my site and surfrider!

    Chris Cote rules and everyone knows it, nuff said…

    The story behind my surfrider event is last year I hosted this at Chronic Cantina and we raised $8,000 for NPB surfrider. So I decided to do it again! As you can see by the pictures! it was a great turn out and awesome!

    All this extra press you have giving me.. is just an added bonus!

  • Raquel Figlo says:

    Oh by the way sure im gunna get shit for this.. but you remind me of Perez Hilton,, red ink and all ????

  • shorepound says:

    Raquel your web site is a big pile of steaming shit. But good job raising money for Surfrider.

  • Raquel Figlo says:

    jeez shorepound thanks for the constructive criticism . if there are any graphic designers out there, please email me would love to revamp the site..
    we all have to start somewhere…

  • An says:

    Rakel. You need to stick to your club events and not poache on Surfrider Foundations non existent leadership in Newport Beach. They do these parties without a reason and hopefully will be KICKED OUT as leaders. They are a sham. Stop using Surfrider as a cause and go out and actually clean a beach and not put your cig out on the beach.

  • BB says:

    Really Lewis? You have to slam an entire organization for one event? Don’t you have other fish to fry? Christ. I thought better of you, now I’m wondering why. Things like this happen. SF is a charity organization and sometimes volunteers or local chapter board members make (clearly) silly mistakes that in no way reflect the views, goals and dedication of the organization as a whole. I’m sure that the originator of this event thought it a good idea/excellent way to make $ for a the right reason. “If the Surfrider Foundation is keen to step up and be taken seriously as a vital, mature, responsible non-profit, this is surely a step in the right direction.”
    So you’re saying that they haven’t done that as a whole prior to this one event? That’s your final verdict? You really are a self righteous sob.

  • An says:

    BB its hard to distinguish the chapter organization vs. Surfrider Foundation brand. Clearly we have people in Newport who are involved with the chapter with no vision and vision I mean in keeping with Surfrider’s mission. The chair has sided with a developer, she is an architect with a mission on her own and her husband also serves on the committee, they have some old hangers on, that need to go bye bye, but she sanctions events so awful for so many reasons, we cannot delve into, and needs to step down and give the organization the legs to do good in the environment.

  • BB says:

    An, here’s my take: $ is good, SF cannot function without it. This type of event is clearly not in line with standard issue SF mentality of how events go and I think it’s a bit much *but* it worked and raised $ and at least *some* awareness. Kudos to the chapter for that!

    That said, the almighty Lewis’ constant holier than thou’ BS is tiring. Only he would use this one event to posthole an entire organization. What a joke this guy is. GET OFF YOUR COMPUTER AND DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE LEWIS. Go to a SF meeting and see if you can use your newfound “celebrity” to do something positive. That’d be noteworthy.

  • Nick says:

    An, you’re more than welcome to come try your hand at being a steering committee member in the Surfrider Foundation Newport Beach Chapter. With all of your criticism, it sounds like you could do much better than current SC members. Maybe you could even become the new chair? Look me up at the next event, I’d love to chat with you. Oh, and you may want to check your facts before posting publicly. The chair and her husband are two of the best people I’ve ever met. You can meet them if you make it to our next meeting, which I’m sure you won’t.

  • An says:

    Where’s the next meeting? At Mr. J’s or Captain Creems?

  • townboi says:

    HAAH that is my bicycle comment you grabbed Lewis!

    was all bline when I posted that… rofl

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