This is not real life.
Go towards the light. The exit is up ahead.
Finish reading this post, close the window behind you, and emerge into the brightness of a new day. There's nothing here for you anymore. The PostSurf project is complete.
I am not Lewis Samuels.
That ended long ago, amidst the pixels and fuckery, clammy clickthroughs, custard pudding bastards, vitriolic comments, tags, tapioca fuckwits and strewn code. A writer does not write the truth about themselves. They leverage words to obscure things. They write the truth about other people, and leave themselves out of it.
The surf industry is not surfing. My brief forays into the dark, sickly heart of the matter have reminded me of that. Over the course of the last nine months on PostSurf, I've simply tried to remind others of this fact. The PostSurf story has proven my point.
Now I'm choosing to be born again, from the ashes of this enterprise. We learn inevitably, and with regret, that there are powers out there greater than ourselves. So now I'm free to wander squalid foreign shores; free to use words to obscure new truths in different ways.
If it seems like there's more to this decision than what I've revealed... well, remember what I told you about writers.
Any of you mu’fucker’s watching this shit in France?? I would like the number to the head judge’s crack dealer… must be the best shit this world’s ever seen.
Dane vs. Bede and Dunn vs. CJ was comical. Bring on 3, 5, or 7 to the beach…
… fuck you innovation!!
@ b r
i didnt watch those (heats)..i had to go somewhere..but i did feel the same way about tiago s 9…though u put it much more eloquently and succinctly than i would have done..
Ham on a bagel is pretty exciting. Wonder Bread slathered in I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter is pretty effin not exciting. And that is Mick Fanning.
Hey fellas, Mick Fanning just won the event, I thought he was surfing good but Durbige was ripping good too
Unreal contest. France is a great country. I want to move there.
America sucks. Iran should be able to do what they want. Hugo Chavez and Sean Penn are so cool!
Mark is a hypocritical groupie. He was never my true friend. I just pretended to like him so he would open up and confide in me and then I could show the world how hypocritical Christians are.
I am so smart. And educated. Plus I drive a hybrid.
Money or Humanity? I choose the latter!
Single Payer Health Care for all! Even the illegal aliens who send all of their earnings home to Mexico!
Oh yeah this last swell was so overplayed by SurfLie. California never has waves.
“Turn out the lights the party’s over”.
Not so fast Little willy this sight is still rocking, I chek it like a few times daily, I want to see what blasfemy does next
yeah that scoring was pretty crappy. the ASP puts out all this lip service about rewarding innovation, pushing the envelope, blah blah blah. bede vs. dane and dunn vs. cj is the exact reason why the ASP is dying. how somebody pulls airs like dane did or turns like ceej did and still lose is absolutely disgusting to me, especially to lose to the boring, uncommitted, risk-free surfing of ben dunn.
ASP or NSSA? Can’t tell anymore, based on the judging. Can we get some real heavy waves please, and let God sort ‘em out?
Hi aliGator :)
beny D surfs pretty good thogh, i think. And have you seen how hard durbo smakcs the lip? he shreds no? lets discus.
the nssa jamon is for kids in school. the asp is where guys like kelly and the irons brothers surf. its professional surfing
i hope that helps. its kinda confusing
come on lewis, just one more power rankings please
what a joke that event was. worst judging ever ! EVER! i lost what little respect i had to the euro leg. I hope they skip it next year.
The only thing worse was watching the trials,,,,what a shallow talent pool.sad.
hey blashfemy, didn’t you think some of the euroforce surfed good? i thought tiago was en fire! he throws biggest hcaks!
and the powwer rankings just got posted al at surfline.
Clever ruse, BR/LS…Big Dawg had me fooled for quite some time.
Whats up boys?! I can’t believe Lewis really quit. And even worse he’s workin for Aussies!
Whatever. As long as Tebow is alright nuthin else matters.
um….. you guys are still posting? what no life?
Big Dawg: Dunn surfs great… for the WQS. there’s no way in hell he deserved to win with his safety turns to the beach (turns that by the way, any hot local at any high profile break on earth could pull all day, everyday without breakin a sweat), and especially not against CJ’s high risk, high commitment, and very progressive powerslides, hacks, and fin drags that the better surfers at your home break could never pull, ever. ever. (unless of course your home break is trestles or sebastian)
my major gripe was that in both of those heats, they rewarded the guy who took the safe road (aka the boring road), rather than the guy who took risks and surfed progressively, and completed those risky, progressive maneuvers. if dane doesn’t land those airs, or cj gets caught in the foam and falls on those fin dragging powerslides, i would agree more with the scoring. but that didn’t happen.
Have been rather busy, running judging clinics and the like, but some friends of mine set me this video you might like to check out, while you’re waiting with baited breath for Nug to post my article on the Pro France nightlife on Nugable…
You won’t be disappointed. Especially Blas!
I know your going to hate me, and I already hate myself for saying it, but Dane did it to himself. First of all, he didn’t bring the Trestles Special to France. Big mistake! Especially since everyone (the judges included) was lovin’ his act on it. Secondly, he chose to ride the board he did which is way more loose (twin + trailer) and fishy and didn’t allow him to set the rail like he did at Trestles. Thirdly, he surfed the lefts. No matter how good those backside rotations were (BS 270°s btw, you’ll never hear me say air-reverse), Dane surfs better going right. If he’d had the waves Bede caught, it wouldn’t have even been a contest. He would have smoked him without even having to do an air. But once again Dane possibly felt handicapped by the board. Which brings me to his two waves. His first the turn is solid but arguably no more so than Bede’s first on his first wave. Then there is the air. He only gets 270° worth of the full rotation. He lands on the roof of the wave, gets caught in the trough behind the whitewash and has to pet the kitty to ride out of it. It was his petting the kitty that told the judges he didn’t stick the move cleanly, and unfortunately for Dane that counts when they drop the score. Also, we have the luxury of watching the heats on demand as many times as we want. They judges can’t usually afford to take 5 minutes to watch it over and over again. On his second wave the two turns are no more exciting than anything done by Bede, Ben Dunn, or Fanning all day. And the air was landed in the flat foam, at the very end of the wave and he DOES NOT ride out of it. He’s lucky they gave him points for it at all. If he’d stuck either one cleanly he would have had high 8s and 9s. So let’s not blame it all on the judges.
As for the CJ v. Ben Dunn comment, one tailslide and a bail does not a heat win make. The surf was seriously shithouse. I know. I surf that bank everyday. What Ben Dunn did on his backhand out there in those conditions is not easy. Like Bede, boring yes, easy no. Once again, if CJ had completed a few of those waves he would have won easily. He fell. He lost. Get over it. Tell you what guys, I’ll see all of ‘em in Portugal at the latest and I’ll ask CJ and Dane if they think they got ripped off.
Lastly, if you’re still reading, to the “turns any average pro at any break can do”, the average pros on that bank are the likes of Miky Picon, Jeremy Flores, and Patrick Beven (who made the semis). Seriously, I surf that bank everyday and although Bede and Ben may be boring, what they did wasn’t easy and they deserved the scores they got, which weren’t 8s either. Dane and CJ chose not to build house, but to go for broke, and it didn’t pay off. Innovative and progressive surfing is rewarded highly, but only when the moves are successfully completed, otherwise every could just do fly aways and land off the back like CJ at the US Open and win the comp. Lame. I’m not saying the system ain’t broke and shouldn’t be fixed, but not because of those two heats.
Fire away !!!
Dave… fair assessment of comp. I’ll give you props. Hey enough of the ASP… I’m curious if anyone out there was around the OC in the early and mid 80’s and witnessed a surfer named Mark “SMERK” Mangan. In my 30 years surfing all over Cali… he’s in my top 3 ever witnessed outside a contest on Calif. soil. Unbelievable surfer.. witnessed him a Lowers many times on good days surfing soooo. much better than ALL the known local pro’s back then (Gerr was the only one in his league.. or vice versa). Honestly all those PSSA guys and other Newport Echo Beach dudes that were all over the mag’s were not oven close to him…. there were many others around who witnessed his surfing and thought the same…. any of them you??? Saw him out at O’side during fires few years ago… still claim him to be the best barrel rider ever from So.Cal before Wardo and few others recently.
Dear Mailman,
Your impeccable logic both offends me and inspires me to insult you personally.
Might I suggest that you just think those boring halfturns are difficult because you’re a little “thick in the pants” these days?
Keepin it carbohydrated,
JB
To see how to land a proper air or two, check out the Final of the king of the groms… 15 year old Brazilian Gabriel Medina dropping 10s like nothing! Next to surfing like that, Dane’s waves should have been 4s !!!
@ Elwood, Smerk was the man. Salt creek, Trestles, occasionally around Newps or Laguna.
Mailman,
Gotta admit the kid has talent…did you see the way he followed up his double claim with a sweet triple claim? Unbelievable!
But seriously, Medina is probably best new goofyfoot since Marzo, though I doubt he handles double or triple overhead quite as well.
@Mailman
You should just take over this site. Oh yeah, you have already. Have you heard Lewis is no longer posting here? Just fucking with you. I enjoy your point of view and think you add some much needed insight from the inside looking out. Keep it coming.
OK, yes, Gabriel over claims. He’s a 15 year old Brazilian grom. It’s in his nature!!!
Here’s another link to a good clip of the kid.
He also won a 6 star in Brazil this year in slightly overhead surf… I’m sure he’s not accustomed to 6 foot Chopes yet, but how many 15 year olds are? Anyway, just one to look out for. Apparently, where he comes from in Brazil (Santa Catarina area) there is some decently solid surf, with reef and point breaks, so who knows?
Back to the Bede/Dane discussion. Talked with Pottz this morning who watched the whole thing from the beach. He says you guys are tripping. Bede took the heat. Now, go ahead and tell me that Pottz doesn’t know what he’s talking about…
And on an entirely different subject…
You won’t be sorry!
PS: This one’s been out there for awhile, so if you’ve already seen it, my bad! Still much more entertaining than any of the action at the Pro France… Dane’s incomplete airs included!
my job has become so much more boring since lewis left.
come home lewis, come back to entertain and to enlighten us all . . .
Mailman, since Trestles I’m actually a Bede fan. And like I said I can’t argue with your logic (or with freakin Martin Potter). Really, I just wanted to call you “thick in the pants.”
@Dusty Muff,
Thank you for the link to the death of my few remaining brain cells. Seriously.
The humorless twit that spewed that drivel writes like he has a sphincter wound tighter than Kirsty Alley’s girdle. “Bitter, party of one? Your table is ready.” I actually read the whole thing. Miraculously, I maintained control of all of my bodily functions. Well, except for the one that births fecal trouts. Now I have to take my chair to a dry cleaners. Sunuvabitch.
Anyway, what started as a promising and edgy read, quickly devolved into toe-curlingly awful passive-aggressive rant. The rant lost all sense of authority when he framed them in a style that makes him sound like a gossiping girl who does her nails while nibbling on exquisite caramels.
FAILACOPTRZ.
I thoroughly enjoyed, and will be enjoying for days to cum, the link attached to your name. You’ve done us all a great favor in atoning for the sin of exposing us to that travesty of a humorless lackwit at ASL.
@Mailman,
“Then there is the air. He ‘only’ gets 270° worth of the full rotation. He lands on the roof of the wave, gets caught in the trough behind the whitewash and has to pet the kitty to ride out of it. It was his petting the kitty that told the judges he didn’t stick the move cleanly…”
And this is somehow worth a smaller score than doing three bitch-slaps to the beach? Good lord, do we think bitch-slaps are that hard to do nowadays? Chris Ward has proven this a falsity, time and time again.
You sonnofabitches are still here. God DAMN. Love it.
And gotta say, this crew (Jamon, Dave, Rott, etc.) actually knows what its talking about. I didn’t even watch the heats in France, but I am still entertained and intrigued by your posts. CJ is absolutely ripping these days. Is it me, or is he (like Gerr, Kelly and a few other greats) just getting better and better and better?
Lewis, fuck off for leaving. But I get it. Sort of. Not really.
hey mailman, do you know when they are going to post the draw for mundaka? my degenerate gambler friends and i need to do our picks soon.
@ ellwood smerk drives a bus in oceaside and rips south jetty just about everyday
@ buccaneer… you ever see Smerk surf in good waves back in the 80’s?? Kinda sucks for him that the bus driver thing is mentioned more than his surfing… you’d think all the dudes he used to dominate in the lineup back in the day who now run the industry would throw him a bone now or then.
Speaking of the 80’s… all the debate about the France contest etc. but just remember how far we’ve come from the 80’s… the 6 man heat 3 to the beach days…. and all the over-hyped California Pro’s that rarely lived up to it when you saw them surf in person…. At least now the best surfers in the world are on the tour or given props for the whole free surfing thing and dudes like Smerk don’t get kicked to the curb.
@ mailman… .that footage of Gabriel is insane. I loved forwarding it to all my little league surf dad friends with the heading… “this is why your kid will never ever be a WCT pro”. Has anyone ever done a statistical analysis of the odds of becoming a WCT pro vs. being a pro in other sports… surfing’s gotta be the toughest or near the top of the list… think about it for all the thousands of kids who rip and compete in San Diego… we haven’t put a pro on the tour from SD since ‘93 when Taylor and Rob went on the same year… that’s almost 20 fuckin years ago.
Occy’s Mum, nice to see you’re still here too!
As for more on some of the Pro France heats, Pottz says Bede beat Dane fair and square. Taylor Knox says Bobby lost to Patrick without a doubt, and that usually Bobby gets over scored by the judging panel. Both of them watched the action from the beach. Chew that over for a little while…
Gene, they should be posted already in a perfect world, but I will ask the boys tomorrow and let you know when they’ll be there if they’re not up already!
Elwood, I believe it was Nick Carroll, but someone did do an article about that in the last couple of years in Surfer or Surfing. You’re right, it’s way harder to make the World Tour than to be a top level pro in almost any other major sport. I can’t remember the exact figures, but 12 or so guys per team in the NBA, 27 or so per team in MLB, 25 per team in pro soccer, a hundred some golfers and tennis players in the majors and grand slams, etc… Only 45 spots in surfing. Yes, more people participate in those sports than surf, but it still came out as one of the most exclusive in sports. Imagine if they cut the Tour numbers to 32, 24 or 16 which will happen eventually, as will changes in the judging criteria and board members… You shall see. Kelly has served as somewhat of a catalyst to resolving many longstanding issues within the ASP.
Wow, the void.
Lewis, are you going to do some Power Rankings-type shit for Stab? That Kanga crap over there makes me wanna puke. Fuck, it pisses me off that you are no longer busting out those reviews. The were gold man. Gold. My Aranburu this morning felt so fucking good. Huge.
And Dave, thanks mate. Bobby is so stylish. Just a phenomenal surfer. Too bad he lost. Who the hell is Patrick? Mundaka should bring out his best of course. And Pottz is pretty legendary. You’re fortunate to have the chance to chat with him. So many have flamed out, but he seems to keep it pretty real. And for a kid that turned pro at 15, he’s fucking intelligent. My vote for to replace Rabbit. Or has that already happened?
Happy weekend bitches.
Occ’s mum, I’m a big Bobby fan too. Great surfer. Cool down to earth guy. He will kill it in Mundaka. I didn’t watch the heat live, but from heat on demand, I can understand how the scores came out the way they did. I think Patrick’s 7.53 was a bit high, but once again, I wasn’t there. Patrick is the winningest European on the QS of all time. He’s got a 6*Prime and 3 other 6 star wins to his credit plus a few 5 and 4 star wins. His favorite conditions are exactly what they surfed on the last day. To each his own. But he does rip, and he can do some pretty sick airs from time to time. He’s not going to bust them out in a contest though unless he absolutely need to. Which is pretty much the same for a lot of the guys… Pottz will be with us in Portugal doing commentary. He’s a lot of fun to work with. Schools me in golf too.
Rabbit has not been replaced, and I doubt it will be Gabriel Medina that does! Any serious suggestions?
The new Rabbit will have to be a) Australian b) have style c) have personality/cajones.
I’m drawing a blank here. Seriously, WTF happened to Australia?
I’m sad that the Forecast for the event is so soggy. Mailman, who is the event director? Is it Snipps? Big Luke?
If it’s Luke, what are your feelings about Luke coaching Parko (A Contender) and having a hand in running the events? If we’re gonna roll out a new tour, nobody outside the sport will take us seriously with this kind of fuckery (Sorry Lew) afoot.
Look at F1. Ferrari has such a huge influence, so every fan just rolls their eyes when any decision seems to favor them. BTW, my money is on Hamilton to take the Pole in Japan.
SmudeDogg, good question. I do believe that as in the past, Snips will be contest directing, and Luke will be coaching Parko, who btw Luke says is back in form and ready to rumble!
the Doors, “When the Music’s Over.”
Jamon, I think many people (including quite a few Australians) would prefer that the new President not be Australian. Who do you guys think it should be? Sunny, Shaun, and Pottz are names I already hear quite often, so try to think outside the box.
@ Ellwood. I am not smack talking Mark for driving a bus at all better than sucking the teat of the quikbongcurl vampires.And yeah i have surfed with him hundreds of times when it was firing. Particularly El NINO years when the road washed out at San Luis Rey rivermouth.South side south jetty would get a snapper-like sandbar build-up and just fire from in front of jetty to the south end of the condos.sweeeet!let`s hope it happens this fall-winter season.by the way his wife is a great hair-cutter.
How about Christian Fletcher to replace Bugs?
Gene, no heat draws until they finally decide on which format they’ll be running (3 man Rnd. 1 or Man on Man from Rnd. 1). So not until the first day they decide to run the event…
Smude, as much as I love Christian, I don’t think he would be an acceptable candidate since he never was on tour. His biggest results came on the now defunct Bud Tour. As a matter of fact, we should get FreddyP to convince them to get back in the action with a Bud Light tour.
Gene, if you’re really motivated, take the heat draw from France with the current seedings (reseeded after Trestles) and fill in the blanks. Then take a heat draw from Bells (new format) and do the same thing. The only thing is until they decide to run, there will be no confirmation as to which injured surfers will be back in or not. That’s why they usually wait to the day before the waiting period to post it, because, as Wardo found out in France, it can change until literally 5 minutes before they run the first heat of the event…
My Dick is Bigger than the ASP, the MLP and all the other ‘three letter ackronym companies or organizations out there that end with a P’, put together!!!!!
It’s even Bigger than that last sentence I posted, too!
WBD
Dave, do you know anything about the wildcards for Supertubos?
I hope i’m wrong but ( and i know the place …) i think that it’s not the best time of the year for Peniche…
See you
Lohi’s 2005 ;)
Hey Nuno! Long time no see! Nice to hear from you! I know they are running local trials, but I don’t know for how many spots. I’ve heard that Bruce has accepted the invite to defend his title, so that leaves 2. You would also expect them to give one to Owen Wright who beat Dane and Kelly as a wildcard at Bells, so there will probably be 1 spot for the winner of the local trials. But if guys are still hurt, there may be more spots open. We shall see!
I hope we score some surf. I know mid-winter is the best, but we can’t run the contest then! See you there?
Hey Blas, just had to comment on your comment about my comment about Dane’s first air for a 5.77. He was going for a backside 360 and didn’t make the full rotation and didn’t have a clean landing keeping his speed and flowing out of the maneuver. I guarantee Dane would never include that trick in a video part. Which means it was far from excellent (8+ points) according to the criteria as it is written today, and not quite as good as Bede’s 6 pointer, snap of the top, cutback, tailslide re-entry combo, or as you say 3 bitch slaps to the beach…
Bring back the fucking power rankings!
Hey Dave. I seriously think Pottz is the man for the job. Former world champ, no one really fucks with him (always a bit feared and respected for good reason), good head on his shoulders, has Kelly’s ear and vice versa (especially via Quik). You should lobby him for it next time you guys are playing Kapalua. Enjoy Portugal. Sounds like ‘ya got a nice gig.
Occy’s Mum, I’ll mention it to Brodie. Actually had coffee with both of them while watching first half of Round 1 of Mundaka this morning…
Not that Drew Courtney is not a solid surfer, but how is it that Benji Button beat the Master of the Dark Art of Brazilian surfing Heitor Alves at waist high Mundaka?!? I hate Brad Pitt! He’s screwed my Fantasy Surf team already!
Imagine the shock of coming back from the dead (again!), to find Ben Button beating my favorite Brazilian, the” Master of the Dark Art of Brazilian Surfing”!
I like it, Dave.
Wouldn’t Barton Lynch make a fine pres for the ASP?
Then again he’s probably got a job. Damn things always get in the way.
Of course i’ll be there….shearing for Tiago and having a “Super bock” with you mate ;)
see you there
Rumor has it that Lewis just moved to Oz. He’s done with Surfline and will be a Stab Mag regular soon. You heard it from me, Kimmie, first. Or not. I can’t remember. I just remember that I never loved Lewis. Or did I?
Ahhhh, fucking beautiful. The Hot Seat.
Lewis, dude, you GOTTA keep postsurf alive. (And if you don’t, we will, you jerk.) I have had an absurdly miserable day, and got at least four laughs from that interview. Even Derek Rielly had a zinger or two, and we all know what kind of homophobic, shithouse interviewer that dude is. And the quote from the King? If that doesn’t serve to motivate you then fucking hell. Kudos to the mag Severson built for running that in Tudor’s face. Had me howlin.
And Dave, you name drop like a motherfucker. I like it.
If you move to West Oz or NSW, we will forgive you. Queensland NFW.
game over. get one.
That rattling sound you hear?? Thats the thumbtacks rolling around in Tom Whitaker’s ear. Jed Smith and Stab wouldn’t know how to develop a compelling article if it deep-throated their nostrils.
That’s right, nostrils. Straight through the sinuses, bitches. Tight as fuck too.
No hateful comments please, leave that to the professionals.
Occ’s Mum, to which interview(s) are you referring? I found Joel Tudor on the Hot Seat, and the last meeting of the minds between Reilly and the Fish on likebitchen, but somehow missed the motivational quote from the King (Kelly, Elvis or Michael Jackson?!?). Where was that?
As for Pottz for Prez, the word on the street (that I actually experienced first hand in my “industry guy” days) is that it’s hard to get Pottz to show up for meetings (Board meeting or otherwise)! As Mike said over on Nugable recently, he’s kind of like the original Wardo! Very unpredictable!
@Franco, I think Barton would be great too, but unfortunately for us, he has a “real” job that apparently he is none to keen to give up to become the new punching board for all the “fans” of the ASP out there!
Kimmie and Sherwin, if Lewis does go to Stab, hopefully it’s to replace that guy Braindead Jed!!!
Nuno, get those Superbocks on ice now! I’m coming down!!!
W’sBD, it’s OK! Lewis has left the building. Just us chimps here now, throwing feces around. No chandeliers left to swing on. We pulled those down long ago! Comment hatefully as you see fit!
I’ve been a little slow to check it out, but now that I have, I’ll be following the fish religiously! You all should too! Pure comedy!
At least Fish isn’t boring. The ASP should hire him to do the interviews after each heat. Mailman and Peter Mel should do the commentary in the booth. For every contest.
That is all.
Guys, you’re getting shit all over my rugs. Can’t you go throw down somewhere else? Like Stab, where you can say whatever you wa… oops, never mind.
600!!
And anyone who posts a comment after this will be damned to an eternity with their lips wrapped around Jed Smith’s flaccid 2” tic-tac sized pee pee. (10 bucks says Mark eagerly makes the next comment).
Two inches is pretty big for a tic-tac.
Sherwin,
Thanks for the props! Would love to do the web with Pete Mel. He’s solid. As for Fish on the interviews, that would be interesting, but the ASP stuff is supposed to be rated PG. Having said that, we could give him his own “pay per view” commentary channel (maybe $5 per comp?) with an “explicit lyrics” warning or a PG-13 sticker or something and then let him go wild! Who do you all think his co-hosts should be? Who are the funniest guys, in and around surfing who could pull off a comedy webcast from the events? We could even do it “reality tv” style and have 4 or 5 guys and at the end of every event, one gets voted off, and someone new comes on for the next one.
Jamon,
Thanks for taking the hit for the team! Just bite that little thing straight off, and problem solved!
For all, looks like no Mundaka until Sunday! The Atlantic had such a great summer it looks like she’s taking a little rest for the start of Fall…
Maybe YOUR side of the atlantic had a great summer.
Mailman, I am becoming very jealous of your lifestyle. Perhaps there is an opening for Official Sandwich of ASP Europe?
Also, I hate to keep bringing up Barton Lynch, but the dude is really funny. Or at least used to be…
Jamon,
Wish I could offer you a spot on the payroll, but we’re actually cutting a bit of the fat over here as we type! But Laird knows, it is hard to find a good bagel in Europe!
As for BL, was and still is hilarious as far as I know. He’s definitely on the list, but apparently has a real job that he’s rather fond of… What kind of job? Beats the Jed Smith out of me!
lewis, come back and do whats right
Hot Seat Interview = worst….interview….ever. Self-importance taken to new heights. Or is it?
Dave:
Just to re-visit some conspiracy theories, do you think that surfline actually took or threatened legal action against Lewis with regard to the power rankings? Certainly not that that’s all he can do, but it seemed kind of like his bread and butter, so to speak, and one would think that Stab would certainly publish them.
Just kind of going back to how RIPper made the seemingly sarcastic reference to no one being able to touch HIS power rankings. And now they seem to come up on surfline before the scaffolding comes down at each event……hmmmmmmmmmm.
Trauzersnake, it is a pleasure to have you drop by!
Good question.
I actually have no credible info to contribute, but here’s my 2 cents worth. I would suspect that it was Lewis who came up with the idea to revive Derek Hynd/Surfer’s concept to rate the Top 45, but after every comp instead of just once a year. For Laird and Lewis’ sakes, I hope it was someone at Surfline who came up with the name ‘Power Rankings’, because between us, it’s pretty gay! No offense to the 10% of the guys and gals in the line-up who are homosexual! So when the whole “breakup” happened Lewis decided to keep using the same gay name here. Most likely just to piss of Sean Collins, who probably at some point at least had his legal council discuss the matter with Mr. Samuels. Realistically though, you can copyright the name, but not the concept, so Lewis could have kept doing it here or on Stab in one form or another until the cows come home. I think he enjoyed them and it was a good calling card to get people to admire the rest of his art project!
We’ll see if he keeps it up with Stab, or if breathing the same air as Braindead Jed Smith eventually becomes too much for him and he heads back here to his true home…
To pay back all the nice links
Hope this is relevant for all you surfing Jedis. Vive la France et la revolucion of the title race.
See you in Portugal Dave, but with a Sagres instead. Super bock has to much sugar.
A wise pastry once told me, when it comes to litigation, it’s never about who’s more right…it’s always about who’s more funded.
The other Nuno, thanks for that! If that doesn’t make all the boys want to learn French I don’t know what will. The lyrics are as hot, saucy and racy as the chicks, in case anyone was wondering! TON, do you still see Rui and Patricia?
Bagel, I’m not necessarily sure that’s the reason he stopped, but that was one wise pastry! You (and anyone else interested) should come over to Nugable and weigh in on the 5 Least Deserving World Champs of All Time discussion. Very interesting, even with Mike and Mark there!
Dave, the latest issue of Surfer. And interesting about Pottz. All that I am saying is that he gets my vote. Whether he wants the job (or would even show up) is a different matter altogether.
if this gets to 1000 posts lewis should come back and say something
Dave i’ve lost contact with Patricia and Nuno. I’ll try to find them on facebook and take them to Peniche so that we all have some beers watching Saca getting 10’s after 10’s on Superhopefulytubes :)
Until then I’ll be here making shure this gets the 1000 posts it deserves.
Keep posting. Lewis, has you can see this can be the ultimate comeback of surfing history.
i think more important than the president of the ASP is the location of the ASP offices. for how much i really truly do not care for southern california and avoid LA like the plague, the ASP offices NEED to be located in southern california. the US still has the largest economy on earth (in fact, i think california itself is in the top 10), and that’s where all the money is. you want surfing to be taken more seriously by the mainstream media? you want to attract larger sponsors and begin to put a damper on the bro-fest attitude of pro surfing? that’s where it all needs to begin. nothing against the aussies or australia itself, its a great country with a great surf culture that produces some great surfers, but it is and always will be australia, so it will never pull the weight of the US in the international business arena. facts are facts. if that’s not what pro surfing wants, then it should just disband the ASP altogether and stop giving it this half-assed attempt, go back to being a sport or surly hooligans that you’d never take home to momma.
Could you hangers be any more gay surf driven or what?
WTF cares.
Paddle underneath me. Mock surfer. You ride. Cherry pickers unite. Sorry eh?
Marin homo.
This is surfing.
Nothing left except squat. Thanks.
Baja! See you there Cosmo swell!
No way B.R. gets last word here.
Pussy is evil, it must be punished!
1000 comments will bring back lewis
Gator,
That is an ongoing debate. Pros and cons to both sides of it. That is one of the positive sides of the Rebel Tour that it’s US based. However, having said all that, the ASP’s largest region is actually Europe, and I think you’ll find that Europe also represents the largest sales of surfwear world wide. I know that was the case when I left at ZQK when I left in 2003. Brodie Carr, CEO of the ASP is currently based out of Hossegor, France 6 months of the year, with another 4 spent in Oz and 2 more in SoCal. The ASP actually has its North American offices based in Huntington Beach, so there is a presence there, but no denying the organization is Australo-centric. The ASP knows that too, and are taking steps to remedy the situation, but just moving the International office to the USA is not going to make things perfect overnight.
To the bi-homosexual-lesbian visitors to the Post-PostSurf comments page, I apologize for using the word “gay” in a derogatory manner, and shall never do so again! I should have said that the name Power Rankings is kind of LAME.
Mea Culpa!
Looking for some help from the Postsurf community. anybody have Surfers Journal volume 10 #5? Im looking for a quote from it. The Geoff Ragats article on South America. It’s a quote from somebody to the affect of “never be afraid to let go of who you are in order to be who you are to become.” anybody know it or who it is by? appreciate the help and you all are very entertaining.
Check this link for proof that Mundaka can fire in September… Not that it happens that often, but it can.
you dummies still here? Re the legalities of power rankings, cnnsi, espn and cbs.com all have their own college football “power rankings” each week. no reason Lewis and Surfline can’t both do it either, unless Lewis signed some sort of non-compete or something similar as part of his deal with surflie. oh, and Mark, there’s still no God.
Yes Stu some of us dummies keep comin back. Not for Lewis but for Dave and his never ending spew on pro surfing.
Favorite posting? SEAT GIRLS.
Proof that, even for Dave, there’s more on the minds of surfers than pro surfing.
Schlurg,
Yep. Sometimes we all need to take a step back from surfing and concentrate on the REALLY important things in life… Hot chicks, in skimpy bikinis, dancing in the sand. I’ve got to get another gig on the beach volleyball tour!
Fags are lucky that I’m not gay {not that there’s anything seriously wrong with suck’n another mans schlurg}. Brokedick homos wish they were as Big like me!!!!!
@ all my Homo friends….. there shouldn’t be a problem using the word “ghey” should there.
As in…. The proposed “radical” changes the ASP tour just announced are really really “ghey”…. more of the same shit… band aids on something that is fundamentally flawed. I’ll give props on the health care and pension but the rest is same old lame shit.
I guarantee that all us loons on this site could figure out a system that was way better in all facets… format, judging, media, sponsorship, etc.etc. As if anyone would listen.
I’ll listen to you Elwood. Talk to me.
Elwood and everybody else,
We’ve seen some changes at the ASP today, and it’s a step in the right direction. While you all formulate your perfect scenarios for how the Tour should run (I’ve already formulated mine), please reflect as well on the following words from an interview on nugable.com with Lewis Samuels himself. Just substitute “blogging” with “running a world tour”…
“We live in a culture where consumers focus on the finished product and often ignore the effort that goes into creating that product – whether it’s a movie, magazine, or blog. It makes sense, from the consumer’s point of view – often content is more compelling when you don’t acknowledge the boring details of how that content is created.
The downside of that is viewers begin to take things for granted; they almost begin to feel entitled to quality content, delivered daily, for free.” - Lewis Samuels
@ Mailman and anyone else who cares,
I/We do appreciate what you and everyone at the ASP brings us. And I for one do know the insane amount of work that goes into making something like that happen. And to give credit where credit is due pro surfing as come a long long way in recent years.
I also acknowledge that the ASP is trying to improve as much as they can. But for an outsider like me that has nothing at stake within the ASP or the industry, I feel compelled to critique where I think there is a lot of room for improvement.
My frustration stems mainly from the fact pro surfers are way under recognized by the sporting world and also way under valued based on the economics of our own industry. This is by no means all the ASP’s fault but they do play a significant role in it and the world tour is gonna have to lead the way if we ever improve it.
The fact that Kelly is not gonna be in the conversation of who the greatest individual athletes of our era are is a crime. He should be right there with Tiger, Roger, Lance, and Fedor. Don’t know how many of you read the interview with the guy who wrote Slater’s SI article… he was from the Midwest and knew nothing about surfing and hardly knew who Kelly was. At the end of his piece he’s the one who said that when you look at it objectively, Slater should be in the conversation when discussing the greatest athletes of our generation.
Second is the disparity in income for our top pros. Using golf as a comparison…. by rudimentary analysis I’d estimate the golf industry is about 10X larger than the surf industry. And by my same basic analysis I would estimate that about 600 golfers worldwide make a good living at it between prize money and endorsements (over $250K/year) and I would estimate that about maybe 25 surfer worldwide make that kind of living… about 25X less. The industry and everyone else is getting our guys at a bargain. Don’t blame the industry for it they’re only gonna pay what they have to.
Until we can put forth a product that can appeal to the mainstream media and showcase our talent in the most progressive and dramatic fashion…. it’s gonna stay that way.
Hey Mailman…. any way to get in contact with u direct.
Did Lewis really say that? If so, my retort: the world has, as he astutely notes, become increasingly consumer driven. However, if we are to fall into accord with capitalism and its nebulous infiltration of internet media, he will agree that the proliferation of free content (such as PostSurf RIP) means that we as viewers have a plethora of outlets from which to choose who provide their services pro bono. Accordingly, each free media source has an inherent interest in bringing compelling content, since the alternative is to lose viewership and fall by the wayside.
Now for a free blog, the pressure to stay relevant is marginal as evidenced by this site’s demise. A multi-million dollar enterprise such as the ASP’s World Tour, though, is obligated to impart upon its audience a measure of class or we as pseudo-shareholders (at least those of us who purchase contest sponsor surf-related goods) have the option of bankrupting the system. This trend has become increasingly evident by the influx of non-surf sponsors such as Target, Wal-Mart, and Bud Light (to name a few) taking up sticker space on professional surfer’s boards.
Thus, the ASP panics and decides they cannot risk losing interest from their “core” following, not to mention having schmucks in Montana and North Dakota the only ones wearing their fashionable beach wear. Combined with the apparent threat of a new World Tour (and I know I’m not the only one who thinks that it was a complete fabrication to gain leverage in bargaining talks), the ASP found itself reconciling with the surfers to promote positive changes.
Which is all well and fine, but the realization that only when faced with loss of revenue does professional surfing decide to improve upon itself makes clear the fact that the tour is stagnant and inherently resistant to change, ultimately fated to decay and end up much like my once-favorite haunt for drunken ramblings; stagnant, irrelevant, and inhabited only by a few hangers-on who desperately cling to the hope of a brighter future.
That is all
Wow…people are still posting on this site (irony==true). Reminds of my neighbors cat that shows up every morning for vittles…problem is the neighbor got evicted 5 weeks ago. Poor kitty.
So what are you trying to say? That you throw shit, or are you just mocking us?!
Get outta here before you get violated!
The “cat” can stay though so I can punish it.
For everyone who wants to weigh in on the ASP issue, check this link. Watch the video and read FreddyP’s answers to the different comments. It’s about time that some of the surfers opened their mouths to give their opinions on the association that they co-own…
And the inside scoop on the Mundaka/Sopelana Pro…
To leave a question or comment for the surfer’s rep, go to: mickfanning.au
Hey Lazer,
Yes, Lewis really did say that.
Your points on the ASP are valid. Although, I hope you’re wrong, and that the ASP will not wither and die, but instead sprout new life into itself and pro surfing after clipping some of the dead branches and giving itself a shot of some more fertilizer (I can hear the “bullshit” comments already)!
No, things are still not perfect. Far from it. However, the new changes to the system are not the only projects in the works, and you can expect to see more positive changes implemented in the coming season(s). The ASP knows it needs to present a more dynamic and unified product and a way to market it in order to keep the public interest and to attract outside industry sponsors. Like many things in life, these changes are a work in progress, that hopefully one day will be a part of professional surfing’s brighter future!
PS: As much as I love conspiracy theories, the Rebel Tour was not a fabrication to bring about change. It is still a very real possibility, and even though the WPS has re-iterated its support for the ASP and even with all the new things going on at the ASP, something tells me we may not have heard the last of it…
Elwood,
I don’t really want to put my personal e-mail up here, but wouldn’t mind sending it along to you if you’ve got a link or somewhere else I could leave it for you. Otherwise, send a mail to my attention to: asp@aspworldtour.com or aspeurope@wanadoo.fr. Somebody will forward it along to me.
Thanks for your concern and input!
All the best,
Dave
I know you all hate when I cut and paste, but to avoid forcing some of you to click on a link to the website that you all love to hate, I have pasted some (many) words from Ian Cairns for your dissection. Have fun reading. I look forward to your comments:
OPEN LETTER TO THE ASP
On the eve of historic board meeting in Mundaka, Ian Cairns offers advice to pro surfing’s governing body
By: Ian Cairns
The Situation
Nothing seemed to be improving; prize-money was not going up, the number of events was going down, the assistance provided to the events and the surfers from the association was perceived as minimal, the rules needed updating, the media coverage needed to be improved, no major outside sponsorship was coming in — there was general agreement that change had to happen, but no-one seemed to know what that change should look like.
Sounds like our current situation in 2009? Nope. This was 1982. And after a disastrous experience with the IPS (International Pro Surfing) at the inaugural Op Pro at Huntington Beach, I went to Mike Parnell at Op and convinced him to support a new breakaway tour and the Association of Surfing Professionals (ASP) was born. The rest is 27 years of history — and now for many of the same reasons a “Champions Tour” originally associated with Kelly Slater is now on the table and is trying to pull the same coup d’état.
The Current ASP
I think that there are issues with the ASP, but I like to look at the glass half full and think the wave quality and level of surfing on the Dream Tour, the passion of the surfers and the global spread of the WQS, the clear path from the Junior Pro Series to the WQS and on to the ASP World Tour; these things are genius and are a valuable foundation to build upon and should be very carefully protected and nurtured.
Anybody who surfed in the days of the IPS marvels at how great the ASP Tours are now — at the number of events, the global spread of the sport, the level of prize-money, the growth of the surf industry and the level of industry sponsorship money.
I suggest that everyone needs to take a step back, take a deep breath and look at what we have. And then, dream for a moment, on what it could be like another 30 years from now.
The Champions Tour
Since the J-Bay event there’s been a lot of chatter about a new, top-tier tour that was initially dubbed the “Kelly Tour,” until he received a lot of negative feedback and tons of questions. This tour has since become known as the “Champions Tour”, and by all indications, it proposes to take over operation of the top-tier events, award more prize-money, have better web and TV coverage and declare the World Champion.
The key questions in my mind about this proposed tour are:
1. Does this group have the funding to operate a losing venture for the time it takes to break even?
2. Who owns this Tour? (The ASP is owned by the surfers and the events.)
3. The scuttlebutt says that the TV coverage is a “time-buy” on ESPN (so this would not be a global television package), and that the web coverage will be on ESPN360.com, not on the Tour’s own website. Unless ESPN is paying handsomely, why give away your key audience to ESPN?
4. Will this coverage and these events be good enough to attract big sponsorships?
5. Why was Kelly so closely aligned to the project when it first surfaced but then pulled back a bit on his support? In my mind, his 100% commitment is essential to its success.
Apparently, meetings with the ASP are ongoing, but at this point it appears there are many questions regarding the substance and viability of the Champions Tour that need to be answered.
The Surf Industry
In this whole Champions Tour scenario I hear a lot of whining about the involvement of the surf industry and how much power they have to control things and all I can say is this: “Thanks, Mate.” They’ve supported pro surfing and the ASP since day one, and will continue to do so until the end of time. They are the foundation of pro surfing and without the support of Doug Warbrick (Rip Curl co-founder), Bob McKnight, Alan Green and John Law (Quiksilver founders) and Gordon Merchant (Billabong founder) we would have been in the shit long ago. That these companies have grown to be billion dollar global businesses is a testament to the power and influence of pro surfing, so it is, and always has been, a valuable marriage.
“Without the support of Doug Warbrick (Rip Curl co-founder), Bob McKnight, Alan Green and John Law (Quiksilver founders) and Gordon Merchant (Billabong founder) we would have been in the shit long ago.”
The simple truth is that pro surfing does not have the numbers to attract big outside-the-industry sponsors unless you aggregate the total ASP global audience. But the thing is, there’s also great interest from these same outside companies in partnering with the major surf industry brands, because the association provides them with cachet and essential core credibility with our first-mover surfer audience. Look at Boost Mobile and Monster Energy whose early partnerships with Billabong helped them, at least in some small way, to grow into billion-dollar brands within five years. Cross-promotions with major surf industry brands must be an essential element of any future ASP marketing initiative and therefore any talk of separation from the industry is counter-productive to pro-surfing’s long-term success.
The Key Issues With the ASP
Disaffection from Senior Tour Surfers caused by:
1. Minimal growth in prize-money compared to other sports
2. An appearance of control by surf industry companies and charges that this is stifling outside sponsorship
3. Little change in formats and rules
4. Poor conventional TV and general media coverage
Disaffection from Event Sponsors caused by:
1. Demands from surfers for increased prize-money
2. Increased webcast costs
3. Increased TV production costs
4. Increased ASP fees
5. Poor Conventional TV and Media Coverage
The Core Problem
ASP CEO Brodie Carr recently met with David Hill, CEO of Sports for Fox Worldwide, and David’s comment was: “The ASP needs to own and control all its media rights.”
Now this seems to be self-evident and this very issue is at the core of the Champions Tour argument. In this respect, the Champions Tour group is on the right track, except that I surmise (as they won’t answer this question), that they want to own these rights themselves for their own business purposes, leaving ASP without rights to the top-tier events.
Clearly, aggregation of these critical tour-sponsorship, web-coverage and television-coverage rights is the central problem for ASP…and also the major opportunity.
Historically it has been ASP’s inability to manage and monetize these rights that has brought us to this point where a revolt is at hand. The core problem is that ASP has never had the capital to develop and nurture this crucial business opportunity. Finding the funds necessary to build this enterprise will be a critical part of any new direction.
From the beginning, the NFL owned centralized media rights, and their TV-rights revenue grew way more quickly than Major League Baseball’s, whose rights were held individually by each club. In fact, the New York Yankees were very reluctant to be involved in centralized bargaining, arguing that their business in a strong market like New York could not be better run by MLB. All major professional sports in the U.S. have since found that consolidating their rights achieved two things: 1) better rights fees from networks and, 2) a better consolidated sponsorship package that could be presented to sponsors. The result has been incredible growth in the revenues back to the sports and a strong and profitable partnership between the leagues, media and sponsors.
The ASP needs to consolidate these media rights to create a viable international sponsorship opportunity, and if the Champions Tour already has a major sponsor or an Angel Investor with the funds to support their tour, then the ASP will have lost this game.
Current ASP Tour Administration
Everybody wonders what the ASP does. At its core, the ASP performs an interesting mix of tasks that primarily focus on the scheduling of events operated by various regional event promoters, including the major brands. From there, the Association deals with the management of a uniform, global event operations standard, and also is in charge of codifying a global rankings system that is the basis for so much of the surf-marketing business.
I would maintain that ASP does all these tasks very effectively and, except for some tweaks in details, this is a well-run operation with 105 Men’s and 49 Women’s events operating worldwide in 2009.
It is two specific business development areas — Sponsorship/Licensing and Media Production/Rights Management — that are the weaknesses of the ASP and the major argument for the Champions Tour land grab. A rebel tour concept has been made possible by ASP’s inability to: 1) evolve their events and systems to the satisfaction of either the events or the surfers and, 2) secure major international media relationships and sponsorships.
My Suggestion
Clearly there is a broad mix of functions that ASP manages at this moment, and two issues are clear: the focus is on tour operations and little work is being done on business development.
My suggestion is to split the ASP tour administration and the ASP Properties (business development) into two separate entities, with the existing ASP Board having oversight and primary ownership control of both entities, but allowing new management with the skills to manage the ASP Properties business affairs — to maximize the rights to all ASP Media and Sponsorship/Licensing opportunities.
The current ASP Tour Administration is then able to devote more time and energy to the services provided to the membership — the events and surfers — and evolve the event formats, judging, etc. so they meet current requirements.
The ASP Properties group would then focus on creating a business model that capitalizes on the current substantial asset base that ASP has built up over the past 30 years, with 154 international professional events and thousands of professional competitors spread across seven international regions — Australasia, North America, Hawaii, Europe, South America, Africa and Japan.
This new foundation of global operations is a great start for another 30-year mission for professional surfing; one that could ultimately position surfing as a rival to other major sports for prize-money and audience.
Let’s Dream for a Moment
Can we imagine for a moment that all these events are broadcast live on an ASPtv Global TV Channel, in English, Portuguese, French, Spanish, Japanese and even Chinese? Can we picture global brands like Coke, Toyota, McDonalds, Sony, Nintendo, Apple, etc. as ASP participating sponsors? Can we see the prize-money larger than it is right now? Can we picture a time when you can also watch all this live and archived content on web giants like Yahoo and via our cell phones, anywhere, anytime? I can see all this and more and am certain that this will happen within the next 30 years. For a truly global sport like surfing, technology is on our side as the world grows smaller day by day.
Evolution NOT Revolution
To the ASP Board: When I started the ASP in 1982, I did not dump all the existing events. I went and appealed to the promoters to be part of something new, inspirational and exciting and the result was the ASP. We had the funding in place, the vision to dream a new dream and the chutzpah to go out and make it happen. But we created an evolution, not a revolution and no-one got left behind by the new ASP system.
This is the primary criticism I have of the Champions Tour in that it is all about more money now for the top 20 or so pros and, at least up to this point, includes no vision for the rest of the current and future aspiring ASP surfers. Unless a more inclusive Champions Tour plan is presented, and presented quickly, we must assume that this is a revolution for the few and not for the many and, because of this, it will inevitably fail.
ASP: You need to evolve and fast! Create a business entity that is empowered to launch another 30 years of growth, expand the reach of your media properties, raise the prize-money, and fix the event formats by being innovative and new.
But, most importantly, dream — dream BIG about how things could be and where we might go if we all pull together. The future is only limited by our vision.
– Ian “Kanga” Cairns
Surfing is gay.
does anybody else feel like the “changes” that the ASP is proposing is just bullshit appeasement rather than real change that’s going to make any kind of a real difference? notice how none of this came about until they had a real fire under their asses. now i feel like they’re just throwing the fans and the surfers a bone to keep everyone quiet for just a little longer.
i think i’m more disenchanted with pro surfing now than i’ve ever been. they had a real chance to make some real change and do something great for the sport. instead they threw us a bone to shut us up. fuck that.
mundaka is flat. again. the contest will likely finish in crap sopelana.
don’t they get it? the interest and satisfaction of the fans is directly proportional to the quality of waves and webcast. that’s it. at the end of the day, if the waves are rockin’ and the coverage is good, we don’t care about anything else. yet they still seem to believe they can let the brands dish out crap broadcasts that are nothing more than industry bro-downs where fuckers like GT make stupid, uninformed comments that nobody gives two shits about. i seriously wanna beat the crap out of 75% of the commentators of these events. and then they bless us with the emmy-award-winning broadcast that was brazil. i don’t even wanna go into that, i think we all know about the clusterfuck of bloody diarrhea that spewed forth from that poor excuse for a webcast.
like i said: hold the events in CONSISTENTLY WORLD CLASS VENUES at the absolute historically best time for swell and conditions and give those events TRULY WORLD CLASS COVERAGE and nothing else matters to the fans. we’ll deal with all the other bullshit like questionable judging. we don’t care that much. we want good waves and good coverage. that’s it.
we don’t want to see them surf crap sopelana, or crap brazil, and we certainly don’t want to see them doing that through a crappy webcast while a fucking penis puffer like GT talks about how cool his sunglasses are.
we want reeling J-Bay, we want mechanical Indo, we want maxing Pipe, we want Chopes going off the richter and perfect Cloudbreak, we want Mainland Mex and Chile. and we want a world class media team to cover all these events, with insightful and knowledgeable commentators, and we want them to cover these events consistently. do that, and we’ll be interested as all hell, all the time.
until the ASP figures that out and does everything humanly or inhumanly possible to make that happen, they will always just be throwing us a bone to shut us up.
fucking posers. eat my dick.
gator has a point. (And Kanga can fuck off, thank you.)
And listen, the one thing Sean Collins IS pretty damn good at is surf forecasting. (We all know it sure ain’t running a bias-free media outlet.) Why not ‘regionalize’ the Tour (e.g., east and west southern hemisphere June-September and east and west northern hemisphere October-February), and set things up in a ’surgical strike’ kind of format? It is 2009 afterall, not 1989. And fuck, invite the best free surfers in the world based on popular vote (the Surfer Poll?) or something, to join in the contests. Rasta, Bruce, Occy’s Mum, etc. I am not sure about the other folks out there, but I think gator would agree when I say that I would be glued to my fucking computer monitor or HD ESPN channel to watch grinding Micronesia, reeling La Jolla or double-overhead J-bay with the best sons of bitches in world trying to out surf each other. Fucking glued.
You with me Kelly?
Yes, I’m With You.
I just lost to Benjamin Button? WTF.
oh look, the Slop-elana Pro just finished up in crap Slop-elana. what a god damned surprise. “dream tour” my ass. i wanted to scream at my computer every time chris davidson claimed a shitty cutback on a mushy ankle-biter. our sport has been usurped by a bunch of punkass bitches, throw in the towel. the revolution will not be televised, rather it will be webcast, and you can be sure GT will be there talking about how cool his sunglasses are and interrupting every interview to look over for two seconds while somebody takes off on crappy excuse for a wave only to kick out and then claim it like they did something special. i make bigger, cleaner waves in my toilet during my morning sabbatical. and i claim every one. take that dream tour.
@Gator
Dude, it will be ok…..really, I promise. That’s just the way mother nature works out sometimes….most of the time, really. Just look at your average session. Usually far from epic, like we’d like it to be. Ever been skunked on a surf trip? After saving all that cash, securing the time off work, etc.? Not to mention all the logistics that go into securing these venues, permits, time slots etc…..not necessarily as easy as it looks. But hey, like I’ve said before, who really cares? Most guys that SURF don’t really follow the tour. How you gonna get mid-america to give a rat’s ass??
Put a fork in the paradigm.
Re: Mailman’s Manifesto
That is pretty thorough and well-put, though it’s also pretty effin long. But thanks for putting it in perspective. Modern culture has a way of abandoning/destroying perfectly useful older structures in favor of “something new.” And God knows “something new” isn’t always “something better.” This sandwich hopes that in the big picture, we all look at how existing structures–organizations, buildings, cities–can be improved and reused. It’s way smarter, and way more efficient, than continuing to burn the house down every time the paint starts peeling.
The Post-Post Surf comments section is a great example of what I just said. This is the best abandoned-house party ever.
well put gator, but it doesn’t matter. like jamon said how are you going to get the landlocked mid america go care, and who would want them to care
who cares about landlocked mid-america? there’s more than enough surfable coastline in this world to warrant a real audience. i’d even argue that surfing is the most international of all the sports. people surf in the baltic sea for christ sake. there’s surf shops in wisconsin. but what we’re essentially doing when we send the top 45 to surf brazil and slop-elana, and then backing that up with a shitty webcast, it’s comparable to holding an NFL playoff game in some dude’s backyard, and making them play with a balled up piece of newspaper instead of a real ball, and using two trees with a stick nailed between them as goal posts, and marking the n-zone with somebody’s baseball cap on one side and a sprinkler on the other, then taping the whole thing with a crappy webcam and putting it on youtube with commentary from the old lady who lives next door. and all the officials come from the special needs school down the street.
Adriano de Souza got his deserved contest win at Sopelana (Mundaka)!!! Longa vida ao campeão!!!
The question Hammy wants answered is this: Why do we want surfing to get more money, exposure, infrastructure, pizzaz, whatever?
The answers I’ve heard or imagined are:
1) The pros deserve better. And deserve recognition. OK maybe, but that’s what, 50 of us? And how does it make our lives better, especially if the cost is more competition for a limited number of waves?
2) Surfing is an amazing athletic accomplishment and should get credit. Yes, it is! But why do we need recognition? Do we want millions of people to tell us that because we can ride waves, we have value? Shit, I’d rather just go surfing and have no one understand why the fuck I do it.
3) Because we want to watch better broadcasts of pro surfing. Yeah, that makes sense. But see Point 1…are we willing to pay that cost? Is it really so bad now, the way it is? Do we really need full HD coverage? And can we get it anyway (if you’ve been here awhile, you already know what I think the answer is).
4) Because we want the industry to grow so we (or others) can work in and around surfing. This is an understandable goal. The reality though, is that cash-chasing is fundamentally opposed to wave-chasing. That will never change. Some good surfers might end up in good jobs that let them surf, but that’s true whether or not there’s a surf industry. Reality dictates that just because you surf, you don’t get/deserve work in the industry, even if that industry grows. There’s also no guarantee that working for, say, Quick, is going to get you more tube time than working for say, Goldman Sachs. And of course that pesky question emerges: Are we willing to grow the industry if it means fewer waves for all?
No matter how I look at it, I just can’t come up with a good reason for wanting to grow the sport. But as I tell myself each and every morning….I am just a sandwich. A delicious sandwich.
Trauzer and Bagel,
I was almost to the end of what must have been too long of a comment for Karma to deal with, so Karma made me hit the refresh key by mistake and erase it! It’s better this way.
So, thanks for being realists about the whole ASP Tour thing. Having said that, I do understand Gator’s frustration after sitting glued to the computer through the last few days of slop in Sopelana. Actually, for once, I walked away from heats on quite a few occasions telling myself I’d just watch on demand later. I still haven’t checked back to see Dane’s heat, and it was at Mundaka!
Believe me though when I say that more changes are on the way, and that even the guys at the BIG 3 know that the evolution that has happened in the sport over the last 30 years, needs to keep happening and be sped up in a big way to keep competitive surfing relevant in the world as it is today. I can guarantee too that they won’t happen fast enough to please everyone!
On the other hand, if some more changes don’t happen Jamon’s wish might just come true. The world’s surfing population stuck in time. Too late over here anyway. Solo sessions are already a thing of the past in the Southwest of France! And I’m cool with that…
And on that note, I’m going to crack open a night cap to salute the continued existence of the “best abandoned house party ever” and Adriano’s first win! And I hope to Laird it won’t be his last. How horrible would that be for him to finish his career with his only Tour win being in 2′ trash? Wouldn’t wish that on anyone! Go get ‘em kid! Portugal here you come. Me too!
Pray for surf everyone!
Good saying Mr. Mailman! Adriano sure deserves a victory in classic conditions worldclass waves! and it will come, it will come!!! But for now, congratulations champ!! you’re making a nation of millions very proud!!!
i will say this much: go Adriano! kid can rip no doubt, and no matter what direction top tier pro surfing goes in, he’ll be right there with the best of ‘em. in my mind, i equate brazilians to floridians in many ways: overachieving, frothing sons’a bitches. only difference is brazilians are more prone to travel in packs, and floridians are more likely to wield firearms. go Adriano though. if one good thing came out of the crapelana pro, it was that.
the only hope for pro surfing to reach the mainstream is to adopt the WWE route and shoot for entertainment and $$$. build character driven rivalries and hatred and have long intro interviews with both guys poking each other in the chest before the heat. think of how popular jihad could be if he paddled out every heat with a fake suicide bomb strapped on after after spewing some “death to infidels” nonsense in the preheat interview with GT.
@Mailman,
Time to face the reaper, mate. Turn the page, so to speak. The writing on the wall is beginning to dissipate. Dining on this dead whale’s corpse will eventually give you scurvy. As will commenting on Charlie Smith’s foul-tips over at Stab.
So I’ve heard…
… dammit, my gums hurt.
See you on the ‘other’ side.
for how retarded gene gadera is, he may have a point. how often do we see the true rivalry aspect of pro surfing? almost never. maybe every once in awhile the camera accidentally grabs a couple frames of somebody breaking a board or some crap like that. but for the most part, the real drama is left out. why?
the majority of post-heat interviews go like this: “yeah, i’m stoked to make it through to the next round, so-and-so is a great surfer and i feel lucky to catch the right waves, i’ve just been training really hard, blah blah blah…” why the fuck do you think a dane reynolds interview is so refreshing to us? it’s vanilla pudding as all fuck, but he says something different than everyone else, no matter how vanilla pudding it may be.
once in a blue moon you hear kelly or somebody else say something to the effect of “i straight up beat that fucker and the judges are retarded” or “that piss-ant motherfucker burned me” or “fuck perry hatchet, he’s a punk-ass bitch who sucks dick for coke, i’ve seen him!” or something to that extent (often in softer words), but that stuff is few and far between and is often suppressed before it ever makes it to the public. while if somebody in the NBA says anything remotely close to that, it takes up the first half hour of sports center the next morning and is talked about repeatedly on ESPN for at least the next week and a half, if not longer.
i understand the ASP is trying to homogenize surfing for the average viewer, but the average viewer does not want homogenization. they want 10-car pile ups, they want batters rushing the mound and throwing punches at pitchers, they want fist fights and chairs getting thrown into the crowd. and no matter how much any particular “fan” may bitch about it, they love it, it’s interesting, and surfing is teeming with it. why suppress it?
how do you think howard stern got so popular?
if we wanna be punk-ass-bitches about it, we will always be seen as punk-ass-bitches. that doesn’t mean we need to fabricate drama or play it up where it obviously doesn’t exist, but people want to see real human emotion. that’s what sports are. it’s warfare brought down to a nonlethal format. let it be warfare.
Apparently Kelly was not too happy with the results of the semi-final against Adriano. Personally, I think Adriano’s surfing was more committed in the critical parts of the waves. Adriano had vertical snaps off the lip versus Kelly’s flat snaps off the foam and shoulder. Having said that, Kelly’s second wave was definitely the best of the heat thanks to his first and second to last (?) turns, and the judges agreed. I also agree with them that Adriano won the heat.
Comments?
666. Enough said.
No way in Hell that Satan has a Bigger Dick than me. I am the Biggest Dick Ever!!!
@Gator
EXACTLY ! that’s why i want to see Sunny Garcia back on tour.
as far as Kelly being pissed about his semi-final - Jesus, he only lost by .07 points.
serves him right for what he did to Jeremy Flores that one heat in Jeremy’s rookie year. Kelly paddled over to congratulate Jeremy on winning the heat, Jeremy had priority & let a wave go by, Kelly jumped on the wave & won the heat. The hand-shake was just a head fake.
who is paying for this site to stay open?
re the kelly handshake with flores, it happened, but kelly didn’t get enough of a score to win that heat. he snaked flores but flores still won the heat.
i think the Kelly/Adriano heat could have easily went either way. no telling whether or not that .07 difference came in the “claim” factor. personally i think it’s lame to claim a buncha backside top turns in mushy crap. Adriano did surf those waves pretty well, but looking at the video he lacked a lot of flow that Kelly had, meaning he would just speed past entire sections looking for one big top turn that never ended up being that big. Adriano caught the better waves, but i feel Kelly did more to make complete use of the waves he did catch. but how do you judge that? i have to imagine that as a judge in the heat of the moment, it can often be hard to resist that instinct to score the wave instead of the surfing happening relative to that wave. though i don’t recall there being anything in the ASP judging criteria about wave size, form, or length. if Adriano doesn’t claim those waves, i give him the heat. i love Adriano, i love his surfing, but i think anyone should lose points for claiming a bunch of generic backside top turns in world-crap slop-elana. it’s just bad style. though the ASP judging criteria doesn’t mention anything about style either…
Gator,
I agree that claiming to the extent that Adriano does is overdoing it, but he’s not the only one guilty of claiming on tour. Far from it. Either way, the kid loves to let his emotions show, and knowing where he comes from, I can’t blame him.
Unfortunately, all of our pro surfing friends can’t be as cool, calm, collected, and apparently uncaring as our good buddy, Dane Reynolds!
You’re also right that no mention of wave size or style are mentioned in the criteria. Style with good reason, but I personally think wave choice should be mentioned. Are the best guys out at your local break surfing the in-betweeners or sitting on the inside? Usually not. They’re the ones ripping the best set waves from all the way out the back. The best surfers in the line-up are usually the ones getting the best waves. So, I think wave choice should come into play. Having said that, it does a bit, because if you don’t pick a wave with critical sections you’re not going to get a good score, or you’ll have to work a lot harder to get it…
PS: I’ve been asked to let you all know that you can leave messages, constructive criticism, or hate mail for the powers that be over at the ASP by becoming a friend of ASP World Tour Surfing on Facebook. If you are morally, ethically, or any-other-kind-of-ly against using social networking sites, I totally understand, and I will continue to report back to my masters at the ASP anything worthwhile about the tour written here. Just wanted to throw it out there.
RYMB, does that mean you are the Devil, that Kelly’s deal with the Devil is over, or that we should all go to Hell?!?
Al, Lewis is paying for it, until he stops paying his credit card bill, and the powers that be turn it off one last time, but for good…
Gator and ReB, although he may not be able to get guys to have any punch ups after heats, Pottz will be doing the roving reporter interviews on the Search and one of the goals is to at least get some interviews with guys after they lose, and maybe loosen some lips… We shall see. Also, going to try to get explanations from Perry Hatchett on some of the “close” heats, if there are any worth mentioning…
Dave, that is great news about Pottz doing the interviews after heats at the search! and the better news is the part about getting interviews with some guys after they lose, and trying to get Perry Hatchet to open up a little about judging decisions. all of this is good for pro surfing, should be worth watching for that alone. the forecast is looking relatively promising as well, looks like the north atlantic should be decently active over the next week or two. if the banks are in place, it should be a good contest.
well, he probably won’t pay for it much longer. i really wish lewis would comment on parko going down to ben button. i watched the heat on demand and parko’s surfing was unsightly. thats what he gets for having egan as his coach. what the hell does egan know about winning a world title??? he never even won the title!
Some of you guys are fucking hilarious. (You know who you are.)
Hey guys!
Apparently the PostSurf playground is no longer the in-spot to hang out. All the cool kids have left, but they have invited us to come play with them over in The Nug’s backyard.
Maybe, since we’ve lost Lewis, we are a bunch of losers for still hanging out here… but I don’t care. I am a nostalgic type, and just like I stop by all the crap spots I surfed as a kid on the rare occasions that I’m back in California, I will keep coming back here to check the “surf” until someone at the State Parks service comes by to collect 5 bucks for parking, or shuts down the access all together.
PS: Blas, I like whale bones!
There isn’t a whale alive that’s Bigger than me, either!
Mailman, just so you know, it’s time to start a blog. When this abandoned house gets demo’d, we need to crash at your place. I’ll bring the food.
PS, Not one of you has answered the question, “Why do we want to grow pro surfing?” Mailman you are excused from answering due to your conflict of interest.
Everyone else, C’mon, give a sandwich a crumb!
i would answer that question with this one: why do you watch pro surfing? why do you care to talk about it? why do you find it so interesting?
to me, it’s entertaining, like hockey or football is entertaining. professional sports entertain us, and as surfers, pro surfing is a great means of entertainment, especially when it’s flat at home and you can’t travel. live sporting is one of man kind’s oldest and greatest forms of entertainment. from the morbid games of the mayans to the roman gladiators to modern day big-dollar team sports on ESPN, such a large part of our culture revolves around live sport. and the more pro surfing grows and evolves, the greater that entertainment value becomes.
plus, it gives us something to talk about, something to argue about, something to write meaningless bitch-rants about, instead of just flexing our nuts over who’s spot is more localized or some meaningless shit like that. without pro surfing, we’d be living in a world of dave rasta’s, and how fucking boring would that be?
@Mailman
Stay away from that Nug guy’s place. I think he’s hopped up on Robitussin and Norcos. Plus, Blasphemy will try to hump your leg like a rabid bat with a penchant for its own guano. The good news is his organic “garden” has never looked better.
I love that the crew is still here. Keep on keepin’ on.
Fight the power and all that shit.
Taj Burrow has some SURREAL skill.
We love you too, Nug! See ya soon in the backyard. It’s OK, we’ll still stop by, even if you have a cold. Might have to wear a face mask though… You know, swine flu and all that stuff. You can never be too careful.
Let us know when we can sample some of the veggies from BR’s garden. Sounds delicious!
PS: Matty says Hello, and will try to get a few for you at Supertubos!
ReB, now if only he’d stick shit like that in heats!
Jamon, don’t tempt me! I may get around to it someday…
@ Stu
I must admit it does seem that way at times.
The funny thing is that out of all of my comments on this site I only mentioned God once. And that was in, I think, February. And you people still won’t let it go.
Just seeing if you were still here. BTW, sounds like you might be about Fehoko. Was hoping he’d land a little closer to So Cal.
Do your part! Help the Surfrider Foundation.
Hey Stu this is a surfing site. No football, politics or religion on Post Surf.
BTW Lewis why don’t you make a cameo here once in awhile in the comments? You remind me of this one chick I knew in high school in New Smyrna that was all into me for 2 weeks and then right when I was really starting to like her she just froze up and totally ignored me the rest of the year.
You need to uncross those legs of yours and start puttin out again bro. There are a lot of people counting on you.
seems as though insurfnews.com has been down for a few days. is anyone else seeing that? or did i just get banned for speaking a little too unkindly of the ASP?
Dudes! Weird being in an empty house, but I have feeling Lewis is watching- nearly 700 messages! there is money in that. Since its over just want to say our local norcal beach break today was why we surf- Thought I saw Lewis out on the sandbar I haven’t met him formally I crowded him and it wasn’t Lewis-
Man I´m probably just as upset as Kelly that he lost that heat, but personally i think he should have thrown it vertical at least once on one of those crumbly sections. Looked a little uninspired although he was sure trying hard to find those exact sections.
BTW Anyone needing a new board for supertubos xanadu will be at nuno´s in ericeira for next two weeks. Apologies for the plug.
Let´s hope for a great contest.
from the ocean:
Kelly’s surfing is still superior to all others. His level of surfing is levels above.
Bring on the Top Shelf Tour.
The Premiere League.
Hmm
Lewis site is dormant
Hobgoods never update anything
Insurfnews.com is now “off air”.
And all of the timing of this is mysteriously shrouded around the announcement, or lack thereof, of a new tour, and the re-committment to the old tour….
i think we’re all getting played here. These websites were some type of cryptic pressure devices to place on the ASP to get something passed through. Now that the turd has left the sphincter, we’re all holding onto a bag of empty websites, and it sucks.
seven….seven…
seven….seven….
seven….seven….seven….
seven….seven….seven….seven….
seven…seven…hun…
Seven Hundred, bitches…… YEAH BABY.
so are we going to come here some day and get one of those “error 404″ messages ?
instead of being caught off guard, maybe we should have a virtual paddle-out for Post Surf.
did Lewis get a job with Google or something ?
THE GOAL NOW IS 800 MSGS!!! COME ON, WE CAN DO IT!!! LET’S HELP PAY LEWIS’ REHAB BILL!!!
Sometimes I scratch it when it itches!
Wow Post surf is over? Just stopped by to tell Lewis I saw him in Novembers Surfer Magazine. Kinda a bummer…but then again this original post is like 7 weeks old, so I am not to bummed out. Just kinda fun to stop by every now and then. Odd how this all happened at the same time he was heading down to the Hurley Pro (which I had a great time at)
CaliGirl, cum to my lair and spread your wings.
This is overdue. Dave Mailman is equivalent to a groupie. The ‘new’ Sam George (why would anyone would want to be a self-proclaimed ‘expert’?) Just because an ex-world champion with peg legs and feet the size of a small croissant is your mate doesn’t make you any less of a arrogant, self important, delusional seppo. But hey, companies like Rip Curl see your value and that really means you are a fuckwit. Keep looking in the mirror and telling yourself what an educated, sophisticated surfing expert you are. The rest of us with and IQ over 40 will continue to cringe. You are the representative of the demise of what surfing really is, or to put it another way, well done corporate douche bag.
i miss the power rankings…
RYMB,
The beauty of the pre and post-PostSurf virtual reality worlds is that everyone has a right to express their opinions. Thank you for expressing yours. Oh, by the way, Pottz says hello!
Nuno & Nuno,
I’m staying at the Hotel Soleil. Come by some evening for a few cervejas!
Everyone else,
Pissing down rain this morning in Peniche. Luckily, the clouds parted and the sun (and even a rainbow) came out about an hour after they called it off for the day. Quite a few of the crew came down and had a paddle at Supertubos once things cleaned up a bit. Check Rip Curl and Surfing Life sites for photos (and video once the edit guy gets back from surfing) of the freesurf action. Owen Wright and Kelly were ripping amongst others. Most of the Top 45 are staying about 20 minutes up the road at the Marriot and in some of the luxury villas around the golf course. Quite a few little beachies up that way too, and even if it hasn’t been epic, the surf has been better than anything they’ve had in the last month, so it’s been a froth-fest in the water.
Ironically, there is a massive swell on the way (18ft. at 15 seconds) that should hit tonight and stick around until Friday. Mundaka and La Nord in Hossegor will be firing. Down here, the event crew has been frantically building big sand berms in front of the contest site for the last two days. Hopefully it will hold back the swell surge. Most of the locals are thinking it’s going to be too big for both of the main contest sites. There is an option to run on a more protected right wedge off the wall of the jetty by the port entrance, but even that one could be sketchy with so much swell. They’re also claiming that Saturday and Sunday could be epic as the swell drops and the wind shifts back to offshore. We’ve all got our fingers crossed.
In the meantime, everyone’s been enjoying the local seafood restaurants and little cultural tours through the countryside and up and down the coast.
The beer is cold, the seafood is succulent and life could be well worse than this!
PS: To all of the conspiracy theorists out there…
Lewis is too busy working a real job in the real world. No sign of him here in Peniche (damn Stabbers preferred sending Charlie Smith).
Andrew and Freddy forgot to pay their website hosting bills. gator, have no fear, you may continue to slag the ASP on the website of your choice (try ASP World Tour Surfing on Facebook, but you’ll have to click on the Friend button!).
The Hobgoods have been too busy reassembling CJ’s quiver. Shaping and/or finding magic boards takes time!
As an entertaining alternative, if you’re not already doing so, go follow the fish!
@ Dave
Man, you are one lucky so’bitch!! keep the updates coming!
Mailman. You know I love you and all, but stop trying to get us to friend the goddamned ASP. Unless they’re paying you per friend, in which case it’s your shout for the next six weeks.
RYMB: Did you eat something really bitter? Are you OK? Should we send help?
Porra Mailman, se tu ta aí em Portugal tens que provar umas bagaceiras, depois conta pra gente como foi.
e foda-se pá!!!
If being the Biggest is such a crime, then lock me up and throw away the damn key, o.k.?!
Celeb Alcoholic,
Funny you mention that. A bunch of us were enjoying a few quiet beers at the beach bar across the street from the hotel yesterday evening and someone had the bright idea to get shots of a “local” alcohol. Guess what it was?!? Bagaceira will take you from sober to sauced in the space of one shot! Fuck yeah!
Everyone else,
The event site at Supertubes washed away last night. 3 feet of sand through the VIP and Surfers areas, as well as in the ground floor of the judging tower. Still 6 to 8 foot solid at Supers but a too messy to run the comp. Not that we could run there anyway as most of the site has washed into the ocean, or been pushed back into a pile of crap at the foot of the sand dunes. Boys are ripping the right wedge against the jetty at the harbor. Dooma, Pez and the Kieren are down there checking it right now. Back up site at Lagido is still intact, but the swell is overpowering the break. Fanning and TK currently out around the headland from Lagido towing into 12ft. bombs. Mostly beatings, but a few kegs as well.
Hopefully we’re gonna run Round 1 on the right by the jetty. Either way, best surf anyone’s seen in Europe for over a month. Locals are saying biggest swell in Portugal in 30 years, and plenty more swell on the way.
Also, 500 people watching KS at Supers yesterday headlined local newspapers and the evening TV news…
Nice update, MM. Hope you get some of that!
Occ’s Mum surfing in slop beachbreak has never made local headlines. Must be nice to be the King. Dave, I am a groupie of your groupiness. And a quick shout-out to WBD. You make me laugh brother. Very on point, never wavering, message clear.
As you’ve all figured out by now, the Back 32 didn’t surf today. Neither did I. We chased the changing conditions around all day like we were running a Chinese fire drill. The wind literally blew from all 4 directions at once it seemed like amidst the occasional rain squall. Just when we thought we could send out some heats the wind would swing around or the tide would change and we’d have to call it off. Mother Nature can be a bitch sometimes.
Amongst the maelstrom, there were a few windows where the boys took to the water. Pretty much everyone surfed the right by the harbor at some point, but it was best in the morning for a 2 hour period at mid tide. Michel Bourez was a stand out and was also the only guy to rise to the challenge presented by the 6 to 8 foot death pits out at Supertubos. Rumor has it, he would have posted a few perfect 10s if the comp had been on.
Speaking of the comp, back to Supertubos at 8am tomorrow. They’ve managed to get the site working again, but it’s going to be back to the roots. No more red carpets anymore. It’s all about feet in the sand style for the VIP and Surfer areas now… and more than one of us is glad that the ocean has leveled the playing field again between the VIPS and the peons, so to speak. It’s still massive out there (biggest swell in 30 years according to the locals), and we’ll probably surf Round 1 on the right in the corner as Supers will most likely still be mostly massive closeouts. Some of the boys in Round 1 are a bit bitter in hindsight that we didn’t run the old format with 3 man heats yesterday, since pretty much everyone surfed at the site and conditions were contestable from about 10am. Having said that, it was far from Dream Tour quality, but after the last 3 comps, the boys have lowered their standards a bit!
On a happier note, it was the 5 to 6 foot solid Mundaka today, locals calling it the best day in 5 years. And it’s going to break again tomorrow and again the day after… I’ll say it once again. Mother Nature is a cruel mistress.
We’re also trying to organize an old fashioned journalist drink-off between Neil Ridgway and Chas Smith (check Stab if you don’t understand). If it happens, it will be well documented.
Finished off the day with a few beers at the same beach bar across from the hotel (here is where my name dropping groupie side comes out) with Pottz, Happy Gilmore, some ex-members of the Kelly Slater fan club (judges), and some friends (Matty was there too Nug), where I swear to our dear Laird that one of the bartenders is Dane Gudauskas’ long lost twin brother! The resemblance is uncanny.
As Taj’s Burro or RYMB would tell you, I am a kook. But I don’t care. This kook is drunk, and off to the bar to have another beer!
“See” you all tomorrow.
Salud!
eff you, mailman. I mean, good report.
When are we going to stop talking about surfing and start talking about my Dick?!
O.k., you guys win. I’ll talk about surfing…
Today I landed so many airs that I lost count after the first hour. It was even smaller than what they are surfing right now {Round #1}. If my Dick wasn’t so Big, I could probably be on Tour!
BTW, Does Heitor have an Afro with a chin-stap?
…Chin Strap!!!!!
Peniche, Portugal - Shitty waves in portugal today for the opening heats of Rip Curl’s Search event. This is not a good year for the ASP indeed. But, two Brazilians advance to the next round (sorry, they are more complete surfers)and the local boy got sacked. let’s wait for the tide to change. Haven’t seen the reports, so i’ll just drink a shot of bagaceira praying for the waves to come so we all can see the notorious supertubes. hic.
As for today’s action… the Celebrity Alcoholic pretty much summed it up. If you’re all interested you can see for yourself at live.ripcurl.com, but you already know that. There were waves at Supertubes today, but not consistently good enough to run… or so I was told. I only saw a few spitting tubes this morning before we moved to the jetty. KS was out at Supers with a few other crew, and as soon as he paddled out, half of the 2,000 strong crowd picked up and hiked the 10 minutes down the beach to watch the King get a few pits. Hopefully we will all be there tomorrow running heats!
On another note, Lewis is in Ireland. This is verifiable info. Apparently he’s surfing a bit and enjoying a few pints of Guiness!
insurfnews is experiencing technical difficulties with their server, but this is currently being fixed. Should be back on-line tomorrow, or so says Andrew.
I’m tired, and the surf across the street is shit and all the boys, and a few of the girls are swarming the peaks from the jetty to Supertubes… On top of that, the wind direction makes the breaks smell like stale sardines! So that means it’s beer o’clock!
Cheers!
This event is the most boring thing anyone has ever seen. When it rains, it pours. Serves the ASP right. They are complete horse.
Bring it on. The Premiere Tour!
Yeah great!!Tough luck for the ASP,the people from Mundaka and the top44.Look what Mundaka looked like yesterday.Oooof, not Sopoolana…
5-6′ my ass. Occy’s Mum would have been riding foam balls all damn day.
Fuck man! That Mundaka footage is insaaaane.I love how crowded it is . The asp needs to be more flexable so they can score that shit.A couple of those guys were owning it.Oh well.
thanks for the link, those waves are incredible.
Like I told you bitches a while back (post #sixhundysomethin): surgical strike tour broadcast in H-motherfuckin-D. Would sure beat this baseball shit.
pENICHE, pORTUGAL - bETTER WAVES TODAY AT lAGEDO, NOT sUPERTUBOS… bRAZILIAN WILDCRAD bRUNO sANTOS ADVANCED TO THE NEXT ROUND AND WILL PROBABLY FACE jOEL OR fANNING, THAT MEANS HE CAN HELP FELLOW bRAZILIAN aDRIANO DE sOUZA BY CUTTING DOWN COMPETITION FOR THE TITLE, AS LONG AS aDRIANO PERFORMS ACCORDINGLY AND THE FAMED SUPERTUBES WORK. nOW, WHERE’S THAT BOTTLE OF HOUSEMADE WINE…
Boa tarde! Judging by the comments above quite a few of you watched the action (or lack thereof in some heats). Hopefully, we won’t have to go back to Lagido ever again… Swell looks to be dropping over night, and still crap winds for Supertubes. Possibly moving to third back up site at Belgas. Cross your fingers and hope we get some tubes even if it’s not at Supers. Talk of the town, other than the lack of quality surf for round 1, and quite a few surfers not too pleased to be knocked out in round 1 (I agree with both sentiments) has been about the Mundaka sessions. Terri and Giuseppe from the Txopos bar are down here from a little break, but were in Mundaka for the swell. Giuseppe was so upset that they didn’t score this year, that he cried when he woke up in the morning to see that the swell had showed up a week after the Top 45 left town. Plenty of people echoing the sentiments of Occ’s Mum (and a similar idea from Mike) about the mobility factor per country or per region. Logistically and financially challenging, but not out of the question…
Other than that, quite a few of us got on the bagaceira program last night and Pottz had to help Gordo (crazy camerman) and me back to our respective rooms. I promptly preceded to puke all over mine. Had a ball cleaning it all up. Not one of my finest moments. Earlier in the evening I called women’s tour rep, Brooke Ferris a c**t for not having a shot with us, and hucked a loogie in Brodie’s direction after giving him a verbal dressing down about Laird knows what! I don’t actually remember either episode, but was informed of it upon waking up this morning. Brooke didn’t even remember and Brodie thought it was pretty funny. He can duck and jive better than George Bush!
We also met Charlie Smith on site today. Once you have a chat with him, you understand a bit better where he’s coming from with his points of view and style of writing. He and Brodie exchanged tips on clothing styles, and everybody had a good laugh about my pair of blue and orange crocs. BTW the investment banker exists. She’s probably not what you’re all imagining, but still very cute and incredibly charming. I definitely see what Charlie sees in her!
Off to dinner now to try to banish this hangover with a pot of arroz com mariscos (seafood and rice stew) and some vinho verde (local green/white wine).
Looks like Sunday will be our best chance at scoring Supers! Keep your fingers crossed.
@ Cali Slut
Boards and Broads don’t mix. So why don’t you put on your little cheerleading outfit and skank back over to U.S.C. ya little tramp.
ben buttons rules! what now lewis???
lewis doesn’t care about Ben anymore. But just wait, he’ll be back.
Yeah, dude. Lewis, get back here you little motherfucker.
Surprised to see all of you still here. Where’s Stu? And is it just me or does Dustin Barca take the crown for ugliest guy in surfing? I think he needs to work on his style too, his arms are everywhere and his turns are choppy. At least Ben Button can smoothly link turns.
Penicheiy, Portugalo - Foda-se ó pá, I want the Supertubos!!! Some barrels today, but still far from good, if ya know what I mean. Joeal could have gone down, but the lack of waves favored him, boring heat. Owen gave Kelly the usual Kelly treatment. Well, the Fanning someone heat was also good, last minute decision, I’ll drink to that.
Stu’s here after another morning of shit surf in SoCal. What’s slater’s excuse going to be today? Will he finish the year off or is it quitting time?
Mark @ 7:13 pm is not me. Probably Mike or lewis. Not funny.
BTW that is pretty funny what K,H,W and A had to say about Cali Girl. Those guys are spot on.
P.S.
Is it true that Lewis has a part time acting gig on the t.v. show Glee Club?
Kind of had a bad day yesterday. I hate myself. My Dick is still cool, though.
wherever - too drunk to fuck, vomited… but somehow I can recall something about Adriano advancing to next round, go kid, you can do it! now I’m gonna throw up in a proper place.
Retarded media rights, too much corporate control, questionable contest site selection, heavy footed Australians and cagy Brazilians that are good enough to knock out surfers we want to see but not good enough to ever win a contest, average at best web-casting, etc. etc. etc. What Now?…. maybe we can sack up and start talking about what might work instead of what we all know doesn’t. If we wait around for the ASP, Corp’s, or Pro-Surfer’s to figure out how to best run a tour…. We will still be here bitching in 5 years… 10 years.
For the surfing intellectuals, conscious fans, and authentic surf media…. I think there are 3 primary issues/questions that need to be deliberated:
1.) Is the current contest format best suited for creating the most progressive and dramatic surfing?? Our current man on man elimination formats sometimes results in pro’s pushing their surfing to the limits. Unfortunately there are far more instances where competitive savvy wins out over dramatic surfing.
If the surfers could surf several times in alternating conditions and have their cumulative point scores compared to the entire field, would this promote better surfing? Start with 24 surfers and surf several times then cut it down to 12 based on total points and bonus points for winning a heat. Then surf several times and you cut it down to the top 4 to compete in a grand finale.
Would this promote more progressive surfing? Create more interest in all heats as they are all now interconnected? Give the best chance of the form surfers being there in the end? I’m not suggesting this is a perfect format but maybe there are some viable alternatives that need consideration. AND… maybe the viewers should be considered first when determining what works best.
2.) Is the quest for an undisputed world champion an archaic concept ?? Would pro surfing be better off focusing on a few “major” events in major markets/breaks than on chasing around the world for points? If you think about other individual sports… golf, tennis, cycling, etc….. are they built around a “World Champion”? or built around Major events… The Masters, Wimbledon, The Tour de France. Other than Nascar, I don’t know any other sport that is point driven (and even it holds it’s major events in higher regard then it’s year end point leaders) Would Pro surfing be better suited to build around 5 or 6 “Major”/”Grand-Slam” events (which for the most part already exist)? Focus all the resources around making these mega events at the best time of year and coordinate media coverage around them. There could still be a “World Champion” or “No. 1 Surfer in the World” but the focus would be on The Major Event Winners.
3.) How willing are we to make Pro-Surfing “a show” or “a production”?? Coordinating Mother Nature, time zones, and prime time live broadcast of a contest in preferred locales is an impossible situation. How can any network coverage possibly work under these circumstances…. ESPN brings you the finals live at 3AM on Tuesday Morning. And any delayed broadcast of the finals after the winner is already known is a sure recipe for failure. The only answer appears that while the conclusion of a contest will be held when the conditions dictate… any live broadcast has to be delayed to a preferred broadcast time (within the same day) and the winners not announced until that time. Thus creating a “Show”… the finalist (4 surfers?) have bio’s given, the best rides are replayed, interviews, highlights from earlier part of contest are shown, a legit personality hosts and announces, celebrities can show up, bands can perform, fans can text in who they think won, fantasy surfer winners and prize giveaways, etc. etc. The title sponsor can have advertisements before finalist are announced. WTF….. Sounds a bit like American Idol…. . But you want to create drama and intrigue, engage people other than hardcore fans….. it’s gonna have to go somewhere like this. Pro Surfing as a tennis tournament with judges hasn’t worked too well…. Maybe we need to look at how other performing artists are successfully displayed to the public.
Even in all my other past lives, I was always Bigger!
fuckin fuck fuck
f*ck, elwood, did you really take the time to write all that? Who gives a shit, other than you and Mark?
I give a shit……
YEAH!!! 750!! you spooge-gargling cumdumpsters!!!
750? That aint shit. Ann Coulter gets 750 hits on her blog every day.
The newest and ‘coolest’ surf blog is now up. I am posting this to promote it, thanks for coming by.
Anyone see Lewis in the TWS Fergal Smith footage? Oh, wait, no, lewis doesn’t surf bombs when he visits Ireland, he just watches and writes about the guys who do.
here - boy, what a bomb that Owen guy got in the head, his ear literaly exploded, fuck!
Yeah 750 aint shit. Me and Mark can eat 750 oxy’s in one day.
some Mundaka for you
Peniche Portugal - Shitty waves for the closing heat of the Rip Curl Pro Search. Fanning got it, Bede second. Pipeline. Now let’s all go get drunk and smoke some ganja.
Big update coming later today from me. But right now I am getting Peniched in Peniche with Pottz, Mick, Bede and all the boyz.
Are you guys coming to Lisbon for a celebration?
Oh My! Dave the Mailman has a big update! Did Kelly cut his hair?!
So connected, the Mailman delivers rhetoric with a fresh spin!
But never mind right now, his slippers are now off to mingle with the famous! Tell all coming, boys….
A groupie with access….errrrr, Tim Baker.
Every time Mick Fanning wins a contest, I just want to put myself in a toaster oven and set it to “Dark” and then snap off the timer.
Without the Power Rankings I am getting pretty bored of this shit. And Blashphemy, you fuckwit, where the hell are you?
If I were there right now, those ladies would stop surfing just to get a glimps at it!
Awwww thanks for all the love guys.
i concur senior Bagel. Mick Fanning is the worst thing that’s happened to professional surfing since they decided to start running CT events in Brazil and Slop-elana. fuckin’ skeezy wanker ass bastards. eat my left nut you ASP fuckwits. FANS DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR CRAPPY MARKETING CAMPAIGNS THAT YOU TRY TO PASS OFF AS ELITE-LEVEL SURF CONTESTS!!! the PGA tour would never hold a major at Putt-Putt Fun-Land, so why does the ASP run events at the surfing world’s equivalent?
you know all the heads of the ASP are sacrificing chickens on the Kirra groin right now praying the gods will grace the tour with solid swell next year to appease the disenchanted fans and disgruntled surfers.
@gator
hey mister alli, the asp could run a contest in a world class wave, dry fast tubes, right in Brazil, the problem is it would have to be at the beginning of the season, and the aussies sure wouldn’t give up their opening banquet and the hangover season’s kickoff. And for inconsintent beach-breaks, my town has a wave just like this Supertubos, and I’m sober now.
Mick is softcore porn. No money shot.
Mailman - recall you mentioning earlier in the yr the boys are likely to boycott pipe! guess that’s not gonna happen huh
I thought Chaz Smith was going to fill the little hole in my heart left by Lewis Samuels only to watch Mr. Smith’s writing go to shit once Brody Carr and Neil Ridgeway took him behind the woodshed. What the fuck am I supposed to do now? Where is Lewis Samuels?
Mick Fanning surfs every wave like he just hates waves. But loves the gym. And protein.
Even at birth I was Bigger than everyone else!
Yeah, his is bigger.
I guess it’s dead. about time.
Elwood,
It’s ok man. I feel your pain. Points 1 and 2 from your comment are already on the table over at the ASP. Point 3, while interesting is a long shot. How do you keep people on the beach from Twittering the results out to the world?
BTW, a few ex-PostSurfers have contacted me with some other very good ideas that have been passed along, and are being mulled over as we speak… and actually being taken seriously! The thing is, there is always a process to be respected. Processes take time. At the ASP it’s about a 12 month cycle. I’m impatient too, but unfortunately, these things take time.
Bee,
Touché. Guess the powers that be at the ASP worked something out with the powers that be at Da Hui…
Dave Mailman, October 28, 2009 at 9:42 am,
You sound like RYMB or Taj’s Burro trying to bait the other haters out there. Fanning was actually out painting downtown Lisbon red with Tiago and Miky… Bede and Pottz were packing their bags to go home. And I was in bed, getting a good night’s sleep to be in top form for the Women’s Tour heats the next day!
World’s Biggest Dick,
How big are you compared to some of those Supertubes we saw the other day?
The crowd was ooohing and aaahhing like nothing I’d ever heard. I thought maybe Blas was having his way with Cali girl, with all the whistling going on… but then reality struck. Just another bomb set.
“Best Abandoned House Party ever”…..
Dave Mailman vomitting tour insider gossip.
Nothing will change Dave unless you blow up the model. The banks won’t allow our politics to change, nor will the clothing companies allow the ASP to change. Money doesn’t equal change, it equals the pursuit of more.
“the crowd was oohing and ahhhing”… the first premise of a failed tour, beach presence. Celebrate it DM on a dead blog with all the heart broken groupies of a diminutive goofey footed writer.
And to think Stu is still dropping in, pathetic.
Mark eats oxycontin while listening to Rush, is that codependence?
I do not listen to Rush Limbaugh. Just because I say a few conservative things you people run with it. And its not that funny to joke about oxy either. There are a lot of people over here dealing with major issues because of that drug.
over where, Mark?
@ Mark @ 10:38 am
Do you really enjoy impersonating me? Am I that relevant? Pretty cool if you ask me.
Had some dental work done this summer and I have to admit zoning out pretty hard on some Vicodin and beer while recovering. But the crash landing after it is over is brutal. And going surfing is the last thing on your mind. So if you want to surf hard and be able to handle long hold downs without breathing then Oxy-Vicodin is not the way to go.
Hey Lewis what are you up to? How is your dog? What about Artie? Is he alright? Do you miss posting on your blog? Do you feel President Obama and his administration are doing a good job and being honest with America?
Good luck in the future.
P.S. Who is Stan?
I always thought Mailman was Dave Stansfield, then i saw him on the ripcurl broadcast, and now I know, he’s just some boring dude.
oh….sigh….
woo-hoo…..780. bitches.