Tag Archives: ASP World Tour

POWER RANKINGS LAY DAY

With south swell hype increasing, actual paid work commitments looming, and hangovers holding steady, PostSurf.com has officially called a Power Rankings lay day.
7 days into the two week waiting period, 35 power rankings have been completed.  Only two days of drunkeness are now needed to complete the Power Rankings.
Check back tomorrow for an offical announcent [...]

J-BAY POWER RANKINGS: 16-20

Kai Otton
What a nut-up by Kai Otton. This hairy Howard Hughes of a recluse pulled his Spruce Goose out of a season-long tailspin and soared all the way to the semis at J-Bay.  Against Parko, he kept believin’ even when Parko opened up with an arguable 10 – Kai answered back with his own arguable [...]

J-BAY POWER RANKINGS: 21-25

Tim Reyes
Now that his hair has grown out a bit, I’ve finally realized what’s creepy about Tim Reyes: he very closely resembles a ventriloquist’s dummy.  Next time Tim wins a heat and gets interviewed by GT, I’m going to look carefully and determine whether GT is talking out of the side of his mouth with [...]

J-BAY POWER RANKINGS: 26-30

Ben Dunn
Along with Drew Courtney, Ben Dunn is one of only a handful of Australian competitors who are confirmed to have marsupial pouches. While Mr. Courtney now reportedly keeps Nivea cream in his pouch, Mr. Dunn keeps a heat sheet, a waterproof copy of The Indian in the Cupboard, and ironically, a small Indian.  That [...]

J-BAY POWER RANKINGS: 31-35

Nathaniel Curran
Nathaniel Curran needs a handler.  Enough with the stock-thrusters, stock-cars and Alpine Allstars shorts.  The Fast and The Furious came out like a generation ago.  It’s time for an image reload.  What to do, what to do?  Put this cat on a retro fish, let him grow his hair out, and put him in [...]

J-BAY POWER RANKINGS: 36-40

Tiago Pires
As TurtleGate enters its 26th day, PostSurf has uncovered shocking evidence that Tiago Pires may in fact be the gentle turtle that was raped by Australian deviant Andrew Mooney.  The conspiracy goes deeper than even I anticipated.  Way back in late March 2009, Anthony W. won Comment of the Week for the following:
“Portugal… country [...]

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