Tag Archives: joel parkinson

Jul 28 126 comments
ASP World Tour, power rankings

J-BAY POWER RANKINGS: 1-5

Kelly Slater
Why is Kelly Slater back at number one in the Power Rankings?  Because he holds the fate of the ASP in his hands.  If that isn’t power, I don’t know what is.  The question now is will Kelly use his vast influence for good or evil?  Lately, ASP insiders are looking at their talented [...]

Jun 10 68 comments
ASP World Tour, Surf Culture

Did Parko steal the Lindbergh baby?

Back to ASP concerns:
An insightful Joel Parkinson interview is up on Surfline.
It includes one bombshell revelation:
When asked about family, Parko announces "I even had a dream that I had Barca's baby."
Bitch said WHAT now?
Naturally, I re-read that wonderful sentence a few times before moving on to the next sentence.  At first, I thought this was [...]

May 13 124 comments
ASP World Tour, Surf Culture

CONFLICTS of INTEREST

Watching the Billabong Pro Tahiti webcast brings to mind some obvious surf industry conflicts of interest.  Other sport leagues believe that conflicts of interest delegitimize professional sport.  Therefore, they go to lengths to avoid them.  But the ASP?
Bitch, pleeeeease!
Let's consider three examples:

1) Wildcards: Think about this one for a second.  How fuckin' absurd is it [...]

Mar 10 12 comments
ASP World Tour

The Needs of the Many

The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.  At least that's what Spock said when he died at the end of Star Trek II.
The few in this case are Taj Burrow, Mick Fanning, and in particular, Kelly Slater.  If any of these three had won the QuikPro, the many (us) might have [...]