Tag Archives: kelly slater


We're in the midst of summer doldrums.  No ASP events running, no big swells to hype, no big controversies that haven't already been covered.  Nothing to do but drink and fornicate... and endlessly gossip about Kelly Slater's new Super-Dreamy Tour.
It's an understatement to say that the online speculation concerning this new World Tour has been [...]


Kelly Slater
Why is Kelly Slater back at number one in the Power Rankings?  Because he holds the fate of the ASP in his hands.  If that isn’t power, I don’t know what is.  The question now is will Kelly use his vast influence for good or evil?  Lately, ASP insiders are looking at their talented [...]


This year's Olivia Newton-John is Owen Wright.
So far in 2009, Wright has won nearly every Pro Junior he's entered, beat Dane and Kelly at Bells, and now Simple Owen leads the WQS ratings after winning the Maldives event.
According to the ASP's press release, "It was a monumental, high-scoring Final, described by numerous ASP officials at [...]

Reader Challenge: Guess the Pro!!!

Some ignorant people have suggested that there is a homoerotic aspect to being a fan of the ASP world tour. This is of course an absolutely ridiculous notion. There's nothing homoerotic in the worship and rapt appreciation of shirtless men frolicking in the ocean as they battle man-on-man. So I'm going to [...]

The Great Equalizer

Like most ASP events, the Billabong Pro turned into an extended Kelly Slater show yesterday, despite the fact that Slater lost early for the third time in three events.
Denied their "Kelly Comeback!" angle, the media latched onto the "Kelly Vanquished - What Next?!?!" story.

When Kelly was gracious enough to continue his public psychoanalysis in the [...]


Watching the Billabong Pro Tahiti webcast brings to mind some obvious surf industry conflicts of interest.  Other sport leagues believe that conflicts of interest delegitimize professional sport.  Therefore, they go to lengths to avoid them.  But the ASP?
Bitch, pleeeeease!
Let's consider three examples:

1) Wildcards: Think about this one for a second.  How fuckin' absurd is it [...]

Don’t Fuck with Wizards

You know what Kelly Slater's problem is?
He fucked around with some wizard mojo without really understanding what he was messing with.
Now he's fucked.  Two contests, and two 17ths at the hands of wildcards.  His Wizard cutback isn't scoring anymore.  The Wizard's Sleeve 5'3" didn't work.  And now Kelly looks like Michael Jordan when he attempted [...]


This topic is a dead horse.  If you want to debate the double grab, might as well go to Jimmicane's Surfing mag diatribe and leave another comment, or check out CJ Hobgood's take on the double grab debate here .
But looking over the photos from yesterday, it was interesting to consider how the double grab [...]

HELP! I want to SELL OUT!

Hey Yall.  With the economy being so bad, I think I better SELL OUT any way I can.
What can I do to make everyone like this website?
Maybe I should post photos of me BROing out with super awesome, relevant pro surfers and then all you surf fans will be like, "Wow, you're so cool, I [...]

Bobby Revisited

I interviewed Bobby Martinez last fall in Mundaka, at one of the least-attended events in ASP history (not counting every Brazilian event, of course.)  I already posted the first part of this unused interview - here's the second part of our discussion, which centered on the apathy that swept through the ranks  as Kelly dominated [...]

A Word from our Contenders

The ASP season kicks off Saturday, so I thought I'd turn the hype-volume up a bit further by sharing a few words from our top contenders: Slater and Fanning.  The following quotes didn't make the QuikPro Peview I did for Surfline last week.
Lewis: One could argue that you haven't been challenged for the #1 spot [...]


A few days before Kelly won his 9th title, I interviewed Bobby Martinez.  I was hoping to put together an article on "Is Kelly's Dominance Good For Surfing?"  The article never came together - partly because most guys dodged the question.  But Bobby is his own man; he did not dodge the question.
Lewis: Do you [...]


Every now and then I'll try to post something vaguely journalistic from the cutting room floor.

In 2008 I interviewed Kelly Slater for Water Magazine. Suffice to say, the year proved to be more successful for Slater than Water.

The following conversation got cut from the final interview.

Lewis Samuels: Style is one of the few things where one can look at your career and say “What Slater brought to the table with style, compared to past champions, wasn’t as noteworthy.”

Kelly Slater: Style, like… what do you mean in terms of style? Surfing style, personal style, clothes? (laughs)

Surfing style... I think when you can look at the way you approach waves, it’s a distillation of correct body positioning, to achieve a high level of performance. Are you concerned with how that looks like to the viewer, or are you primarily concerned with what you’re achieving on the wave?

I don’t know… I guess for me, I’m more Dane Reynolds than Tom Curren. Or I should say more Martin Potter. I think style is kind of… I could take a lot of heat for saying something… but someone who has a very deliberate style, it’s almost pretentious. If you look a certain way just for the sake of looking that way, I think that’s false. I think that style for me has always been a sort of secondary thing to function.


With the QuikPro only two weeks away, the frothfest has begun in anticipation of the kickoff of the ASP season.
Surfline will feature two of my articles in the coming weeks - Power Rankings for the new crew on tour, and a preview for the Quikpro. Quotes have been piling up in my inbox from Fanning, [...]